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Archive for February, 2012

While going through some of my mom’s stuff after she passed away, I found a letter she had written to my father before they were married in 1952. It is a very beautiful love letter and one I wish I had known about before my dad died. It is special and something I will cherish always. I keep it and their wedding invitation in my father’s “jewelry” box.

My Wedding Rings

It took me a while to realize that they didn’t appear to be engaged at the time of the letter but were very serious. Yeah, they were serious! They were married 5 months later. True love! My mom was a true romantic and my dad loved my mom. When he passed away, my mother was brokenhearted. I wasn’t there for her like I should have been. In later years, we became closer and I moved back to take care of her. I hope she knew how much I loved her.

When I met my husband to be, it was crazy. We liked each other (it was more like we loved each other) and began to date but broke up at my insistence. We had both just gotten out of marriages that were not good or had gone wrong and I didn’t want the same thing to happen again. I was dealing with a lot of things at the time (haven’t I always??) and I just wanted to have fun for a while. I enjoyed the chase and being the subject of his affection but I wanted my next marriage to last. In the time we were apart, I tried not to pine for him but I knew there was something missing. He made me complete and I completed him. I actually fell in love with him without my knowing. I even pretended that I did not like him. I’m serious! About 1-2 months passed. I had been thinking of calling him and just could not bring myself to reopen that bag of worms. Then, out of the blue he called me and we got together to hang out. Within 5 months we were married. There was no real engagement. We knew we wanted to marry each other and we did. I wonder if my mom felt the same about my dad.

The 3-heart shaped amethysts and diamond ring was my wedding ring. Later, my husband gave me a wedding band in which he had inscribed, "I'll love you forever and ever." Please overlook my worn hands.

I never knew how much our early dating time parodied my parents, but those differences stopped there. My mom’s mother was against her marriage to my father to some degree and held it against her for the rest of her life and even after she passed away. Life is funny in ways we don’t understand. My mom liked my husband-to-be and gave her blessing-more so than my first time around.

We live, we make mistakes, we learn, and we go on, but hopefully, there is a lot of love in between! Take care and may your gardens be blessed with beautiful bounty and plenty of love!

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Well, I might have a problem. My hubby is now waffling on taking me dancing and tells me that we might go one day… I wanted to go this week because we didn’t go last week and now he tells me, “You know I’m not big on dancing.” Ok. This was not up for discussion. I usually am up to compromise but not this time. I’m not being selfish. I want this for US! IT IS IMPORTANT!!!!!

Guys/Gals, when you love someone, do what your love wants to do, at least a lot of the time. If it is walking on the moon, do everything you can to make that wish come true not because you want to do it but because you love her/him and she/he wants to do it. My husband used to be like that but has changed.

I just got through watching and listening to some of Rev. Neil Rhodes sermons. There is a series he has done on marriage, shame, etc. The last one I watched was entitled, “I want a new marriage.” In it, he talks about what really breaks up marriages. He had everyone write the 5 things down that he believed was the cause…. Selfishness was number one. Number two was Selfishness…. Number three was….Selfishness. “Are you writing these down?” Number four was Selfishness. And, lastly, number five was-bet you cannot guessSelfishness. Yep. Selfishness and not willing to compromise on anything are two biggies in my book. It takes two to make a go of it and keep it going. Be good to your spouse!

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by sunkissed52203 at webshots

One of the things that really hurt my marriage is that we quit doing the fun things we did when we were dating 23 years ago. Our “big dates” evolved into us going out to our favorite restaurant and that’s about it. We quit dancing and doing fun stuff like taking walks together. We became BORING! I have to say my hubby was not big on dancing in public but that wasn’t what it was all about. It was the thrill of it all, the thrill of the chase, the freshness of the relationship.

I look at my girls and their dating habits. One has been in a relationship for a while and her relationship has lost some luster; it is less than fresh. Never let your relationship get to the point of being really comfortable like an old worn shoe. I told her that she needs to take a lesson from my situation. She understands too well. So, to all of you who are in a relationship, don’t take each other for granted. Learn to live and enjoy life no matter how crappy things get around you. Explore new things and don’t settle for what is comfortable!

To be absolutely honest, I didn’t like country music that much back when I was dating my husband but he did. We were dating when country music was changing away from the traditional Merle Haggard and Conway Twitty type of music to the George Strait, Vince Gill, and Garth Brooks type of music. I was willing to go on the adventure with him and it was great! We would go to the country clubs and though we seldom danced in public, we danced at home. We enjoyed each other’s company and lived for the chase. It was a lot of fun! And, that’s what we need again. I see that glimmer in my husband’s eyes when we are together. I know he is still the same but maybe a little worn, maybe a little tarnished and needs to be resoled. I could use a bump-up, too.

So, as we are working to rebuild and do new things, I asked my hubby to take me dancing. I haven’t been dancing in over 20 years but I want to go dancing! Why? For the thrill of being together and doing “new things.” And, mainly to experience the thrill of the chase once again. So, don’t just sit there! Go Dancing!

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The record highs have begun and it is only February. It was 82 degrees today breaking the old record of 81 that was set in 1909. Please tell me it will not be as hot as last year—please! I am still waiting for winter…

What have I been up to? Let’s see… my husband is still away-things are better in some ways and not so great in others. We are working at it, but it’s very trying. My health is not doing so well but hey, I’ve lost weight. Simon (my daughter’s our cat) had his one year anniversary this past Sunday. It is hard to believe that we have had him for an entire year. I have a blog entry to post about him with photos… He really misses my hubby and pouts when he doesn’t come by—makes two of us, but don’t tell anyone. My daughter who had lung surgery last year received good news today from her pulmonologist. If she does well for the next 6 months, the doctor will cut her loose. She has to make it through pollen season first.

Finally, I have been working on things to put in our etsy shop. I was hoping that it would be up and running by now but things don’t always go as I plan. I have gone back to doing some counted cross-stitch and designing some other new things (the photo is a clue). Quilting has taken a backseat for a while, but I will get back to it one day soon. My painting and tatting (New Year’s resolutions) are just thoughts for the moment but other things have been fruitful. It is a tradeoff.

I hope your gardens have been fruitful. Happy Gardening in everything you do!

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From my 45 Collection

Saturday Mornings—Those two words conjure up songs in my mind like “Come Saturday Morning” (youtube link) or better yet, “Saturday Morning Confusion” (youtube link). BTW, my oldest daughter and I were going through my old 45s the other week and discovered the 2nd one was still in there.

When I was small, I enjoyed getting up early on Saturday morning to watch cartoons. Years later when I just wanted to sleep, I was usually summoned about 6 am or before… Some thought I lived a charmed life, but in reality I did plenty of work especially on Saturdays. Half of the year was spent cutting and splitting wood and the other half was working around the farm. Daddy didn’t have a boy, so I was his substitute. I have to admit that I absolutely loved it-maybe not arising so early and all of the work-but spending it with my dad was the best.

My dad built our house that we moved into when I was about 2 or 3. It was a couple of hundred feet from the old farmhouse so both houses continued to be my home. He drew up the house plan with the idea to add on later. The first addition was built when I was in my early teens. It included a large den with a wonderful brick fireplace my dad constructed. In fact, the fireplace was complete just before THE BIG snowstorm-biggest on record for us-16 inches of snow. We do well to get 1-2 inches of snow a year total (this year is 0). But, sixteen? At one time? We burned through much of our wood in just one week-we were so thankful for our new fireplace. Back to before it was finished…

When it came time to put a mantel on the fireplace, my dad wanted to use something natural looking and knew exactly where to get the wood. One Saturday morning, I was beckoned at the usual 6 am. We first ate breakfast and did some things around the farm. Later, we loaded up chains and toolbox and stuff into the International pickup and set off for the swamp. I have to tell you now that I absolutely HATE snakes or any thought that a snake might be near. We had a lot of rattlers around and plenty of copperheads and water moccasins, so my fears were warranted, and that was before you reached the swamp.

We pulled off the river road and took the truck out as far as we could. The area had grown up quite a bit since the last time I was there and lots more since my dad first had this idea to use this particular piece of wood. Don’t get the idea we were out trespassing or anything since we had permission to be there. I didn’t know what we were after really, so I followed along. We walked and walked. My dad searched, prodded, and when he thought all was lost he found what he was looking for. Ok, I am a girl and am not that tall and at the time was quite petite—in other words, I wasn’t a lot of help heaving this gigantic piece of wood out of its burrow, but I did my best. My dad attached a chain to pull the wood, but first we had to get it to the truck. Oh, man! Then my dad hitched it to the truck and we pulled it home. That was easier said than done. Pulling this huge piece of wood down a paved road wasn’t going to work so we had to drive along on the shoulder—very slowly, with stops every so far. We must have looked crazy to those who passed by-I wanted to hide. We finally got it home, but the story does not end here.

It turns out that this piece of wood is what we refer to as a railroad tie that had been laid for a railroad some 100 years before (maybe longer)-sometime in the 1800s. The rails had been sold about 40 years earlier. My dad thought after so many years that the tie would be dry enough to use but it wasn’t, so this tie sat in the yard for a bit before he decided that if he made a mantel out of it, the heat from the fire would cause more creosote to leach out making the room smell awful. He hated that all of that work was for nothing. I think he anguished about it for quite a while, but it was a memory I will always have which has taught me several things—

  1. Don’t give up even when you think things are looking grim.
  2. When you plan something, make sure it is going to work or be sure of the outcome.
  3. Remember to cherish the time you spend together no matter the outcome.

So, what did we use for our new mantel? My dad handcrafted a beautiful piece of art out of  red cedar. I thought it turned out just great. He was so talented. Thanks, Dad! I sure miss you. My apologies but I could not find a photo.

Happy Gardening in everything you attempt and may your efforts yield lovely results!

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Just checking in…

This is not a real posting in the sense that I like to post but it has been a while since I did that. In my personal life, I think things are a little better. I had to make a visit to the doctor for my blood pressure earlier this week–over 200… Then, I had a nice little meal with my husband for Valentine’s Day-just the two of us with some of my homemade chicken noodle soup that we ate by candlelight and last night, the family ate out for my birthday dinner-a usual thing. What was unusual was that it was the first birthday in 23 years that we didn’t wake up together and him not be the first one to wish me Happy Birthday. It actually wasn’t the worst birthday. While I usually say that one was when I reached 40 years old, it was actually in 1991-my second birthday we shared together. My husband was recalled to the Army on my birthday that year. That was such a bad year….

I want to thank all of the people who have prayed for me and us! I also want to thank all of you who have given advice and support-really! There is still hope, so don’t give up on the prayers. We are supposed to be together. We just have to work out some issues so that we can begin a new life. There is a long ways to go–don’t get me wrong. Things are not “fixed” but prayers are being answered. Take care of yourselves. Appreciate what you have no matter how little it is or how grim things seem to be. And, Happy Gardening in the big scheme of life!

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  • I seek to walk amongst the fog on a mountain top, to sit and watch the sun rise up and shine all around.
  • I seek to sit under a tree and listen to the birds sing out.
  • I seek to smell the flowers strolling through the gardens with the one I love hand in hand.
  • I seek to stop by a waterfall, hearing the rushing water cascading onto the rocks below-to see the sun glisten in the droplets and feel the spray on my face.
  • I seek to see the beauty of every single day, taking in every sight and sound.
  • I seek to share things that only my honey wants to see and touch, to make him happy and whole.
  • I seek to hold my family close, my love even closer, to let them know I truly love and care for them.
  • I seek to grow and bloom in the springtime with flowers all over spreading the fruity scent of pollen.
  • I seek to remember the good times along with the bad rocking on the porch with my husband enjoying each moment we spend together.
  • I seek to lie back and watch the clouds gather and pass as the wind blows along.
  • I seek to watch the sun set filling the sky with beautiful colors melting into darkness allowing the stars and heavenly bodies to be seen and absorbed.
  • I seek to do all of these things and more but most of all I seek to spend the rest of my life with you!

Happy Gardening on this Valentine’s Day! May you seek good things and reap good things. And, may your love for one another never die.

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