Archive for February 8th, 2012

Ok, I never wanted to tell so much about my life-just past obstacles that I have overcome, successes, and maybe a few failures (though there are many failures), but I plan to share little things here and there that I find important about my present situation. My marriage has never been perfect in my eyes but whose has? I know there are some, but we all go through times of hardship and such. We have had so many obstacles, but we have had many periods of high plateaus, too. We each brought a lot of baggage into the relationship-I thought I brought the most but maybe not looking back from this angle.

When things go wrong, we can choose to ignore them or do something about them. Not trying to ring any bells, but I saw the warning signs and tried to sound the alarm but just could not get us to where we needed to be (it takes two). Today, we are working… That means that my husband is taking time to heal and see things through clear(er) lenses while I continue to hold things together and try to improve on my worst fault—patience. I know it doesn’t sound fair, but few things in life are. I love him and that’s it-love. That is all I need-our love together. There are times when I have the patience of Job and other times, I want things fixed instantly. I have been on the latter rung lately.

by mattheweileen at webshots

I must remember one thing…when a child has done something wrong, he/she must relearn things, behaviors, how to feel and act. We have to encourage positive growth in our conscience—if our conscience isn’t healthy, we cannot make sound decisions and often cannot see things like they really are.

Anyway, I remember watching my children learn to walk especially the oldest. We lived in an apartment with a long hallway. She and I could start down the hallway together, me walking and her on her hands and knees (crawling) and you know she made it to the end first, right? Walking was another story. She had this pink walker she would race down the hall but when she began to walk alone, she pushed it down the hall in little spurts. She would stop, sometimes would sit down and take a break, seldom getting to the end in one jaunt. In fact, it took awhile because often she would turn around and come back. She eventually learned to walk the whole length and soon was able to beat me to the other end just as she had when she was crawling. These are smiling memories! 🙂

Before we can learn to walk, we must learn to crawl and then we can pull ourselves up and walk on two feet. Right now, in our marriage, we are getting ready to crawl-not really on our way yet, but hopefully soon. I asked my husband what I could contribute because I feel so helpless at this end, and my husband said that he just needs some patience. It is not easy, but I am so thankful that we are trying to work this out. I want us to have something better than what we had and if that is what we want, I will learn to be patient-it hurts, still, but I am trying.

Happy Gardening and may all of your days be filled with patience and joy!


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