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Archive for August, 2012

I have been a little off lately—my apologies. I’ve made some decisions in my life—thus the changes I mentioned earlier, but they are a little slow in implementing. Some I will share; some I will not.

 

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The book I wrote back in June is finding a home.

  • 😆 I am excited 😆
  • 😕 a little anxious and apprehensive 😕
  • 😥 and a little scared 😥

Through much debating—with myself mostly—I have decided to make a new blog and add the entire book… I really need to work on balancingThe front page of the blog will be for postings about ideas in the book and the rest of the pages will be chapters in the book. This way the book stays current–alive. I hope it works.  

 

I chose to do it this way because I felt that I could not give up all rights to the book. If I want to print a copy of the book to give to someone, I want to do that. I understand the risks of putting it on the internet but I want to share this with others. There may not be a single person to read it, but I feel so passionate about this. I desire no money—it would be nice but was it written for profit? No. 

 

The book has been uploaded and is ready to go after I add some photographs and make the blog publicWish me luck. My biggest obstacle…I have to grow a thicker skin. Criticism has always been difficult because I am so critical of myself. I am sharing some dark secrets I had planned to take with me to my grave. Should you read the book, be warned. 😀  There are things in my past that I am so upset about. It took me a long time to forgive myself but that is part of the story.

 

More writing… There is at least one other book in the works—just barely getting my feet wet and I am not a writer. A post is forthcoming but be warned about it, too. It is not one for the faint of heart and the subject matter will make you wonder if I am ok. I am not a writer but I am passionate about certain things. I am trying to be ok and these writings are part of the catharsis that is helping me to heal.

 

I am still battling health issues and family problems but you know…I’m doing the best I can. Excuse my bluntness. See, my skin is thickening already. 😎

 

Please take care and may you be safe and secure and filled with happiness. Happy Gardening in all of life! 🙂

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wikipedia

For so many years I have lived cautiously not wanting to put lives at risk—mine and others. In the true sense of spirit of a bucket list caution is put to the side in order to live experiences we would normally turn against. Much of my list does not ‘throw caution to the wind’ so to speak. Most items are ways to experience new levels of happiness and contentment—to be able to make those instances become lasting memories—many items are things I have wanted all of my life.

 

webshots–surelyyoujest100

  • 21.    Find true love in a mate—someone who loves me for who I am and wants to be with me through thick and thin; to be there to hold me when I’m having problems and wants to protect me from all kinds of hurt; someone who wants to care for me and I for him for as long as I live—for the rest of our lives.
  • 22.    Dance with my mate every night (Could I Have This Dance-link)
  • 23.    To be married in a church or chapel
  • 24.    Stay in a cabin with the love of my life (snowed in for a few days)
  • 25.    Go horseback riding (I’ve always wanted to own horses)
  • 26.    Grandchildren if/when my girls decide to have children
  • 27.    Visit Niagara Falls
  • 28.    Visit Ireland
  • 29.    Visit Machu Picchu
  • 30.    Write something that makes a difference in someone’s life and for family/friends to be proud of me—not for prestige, power, or money.

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We all—most of us—want to be appreciated for what we do—to know we are making a positive difference in our little world. Most of us want to be loved and have a desire to give of ourselves. I’m like that. I don’t feel complete unless I can give and I don’t feel whole unless I am loved. It wasn’t until this year that I wanted to visit Niagara Falls–maybe as a honeymoon thing since we never really had one or perhaps a “new” one ?? Then a blogging friend’s daughters took a trip this summer which made me want to visit even more. What can I say? I love waterfalls but do not like lots of people. 🙂

 

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May all of your dreams come true! Happy Gardening! 😀

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Hiccups along the way

I haven’t felt so great this past weekend—pretty bad actually, and then Monday afternoon I had one of those things that I have had about 4 now that are like a stroke. This one is the worst one yet. This time the garbled words got so mixed up that my daughter had a difficult time understanding what I was trying to convey. The room isn’t revolving as fast as it was. I wasn’t able to walk or stand and had problems seeing out of my right eye. I could go on but thankfully, I have regained some of what I lost and am able to still type somewhat–hopefully making some sense. My eye is really bad and the most aggravating because it throws everything else off. I am still waiting for an appointment with a neurologist who specializes in nerve damage, MS, and other related diseases. Forgive me if I have said that already. My memory is having a few hiccups, too.

 

I haven’t been able to get back in touch with some people I needed to and reading blogs is something I need to catch up on. I hope to be able to do that in the next few days. I am still around. I hope all this made sense. Take care and Happy Gardening!

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It’s no secret I have been missing my mom lately as she would have celebrated her 80th birthday earlier this month. She was quite a character. She had a way about her and the way she disciplined—particularly other people’s kids. By myself, I got into my fair share of trouble—not having anyone to blame things on—but when friends came over, I was usually the one who behaved, not misbehaved—really. When things really got out of hand, she would threaten to nail 16-penny nails into the wall and hang each of us on one. She would go into great detail… I remember one friend said my mom wouldn’t do it and if she did, that she would tell her mom… One thing you didn’t do in my house was to talk back to Mom.

 

Mom and me in Roanoke, VA

Mom had so many sayings—almost like Gibb’s rules on NCIS. As far as discipline, the most popular one was, “You better straighten up and fly right!” Watch out if it was said this way:  “You better straighten up and fly right…OR ELSE!” That ‘or else’ had some kick to it at times. Mom had a saying for everything it seemed. I thought she was quite corny when I was growing up and she was not quiet. I, on the other hand, was quite the introvert. That has changed over the years and I definitely have my mom’s sense of humor and corniness.

 

After things began to go downhill for my mom, her favorite saying or the one everyone remembers her by is… “I’m hanging in there.” And she did for several years. You know I blame myself for her death. I should have called for an ambulance the night before her stroke but she wanted to wait to see the doctor. I have regretted that decision for almost 20 years. I blame myself for her having her massive stroke. Deep down, I know it’s not my fault—well, it is…—but I feel so much guilt. The weight of the world—I feel like I should have done better. Sorry, Mom!

 

Take care and may your gardens yield happy memories! 🙂

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As stated in yesterday’s post, the Feed My Sheep series has morphed into its own blog. This post begins here and is linked to its new home.

 

STEPPING OUT ON FAITH

  • Scripture from Matthew 14 (NIV)

Faith is a sometimes risky subject to discuss. It is difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced faith. Think about it. If you have faith (true Christian faith), how do you tell someone who doesn’t? It is not something we can just explain, or read about, or something that can be mimicked. And, it is more than a state of mind—it is a state of being. One has to experience it to really understand. That is the wonder of it all.

 

Peter’s actions should speak so loud to us. He was like a child who wanted to do the right thing but found himself in his usual routine of life. Jesus sent the disciples on across the sea. Later, as He walked out to them on the water, the disciples cried out in fear. And, Jesus said…

  • 27 “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

 

SEE:  Feed My Sheep at breadandmanna.wordpress.com (link) for the rest of the story…

Happy Gardening! 🙂

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wikipedia

I hate dislike change. I really do. I like to get into a routine and stay that way, but life is not like that. My blog, which has been a mirror of my life lately (to some extent), is changing. I am not sure if it is a good thing but I hope it is.

 

Number one change:  The series I began in July entitled, Feed My Sheep (link), has turned into a blog all by itself. This way, it has its own space with room to grow, and I can make posts as often as I like. It is called Feed My Sheep at breadandmanna.wordpress.com (link). If you are interested, check it out. It will focus on the spiritual aspects of life, life’s little wisdoms, scripture, etc., and of course, my perspective on things 😀 . It is just beginning. I am not sure where this will lead but there is a big denominator in my life right now and it is called TRUST. Trust in God and step out on faith…remember Peter stepping out of the boat…(link)

 

What does this mean for the Garden2day blog? With any luck, I will go back to sharing more sewing and crafty things. Posts about my medical issues will continue because I think it is important to share that information in the event someone is interested in this “thing” I live with. And, there will be plenty of other info including things about Simon, my girls, the farm, and other such topics–more pre-January 2012.

 

I feel that this is an important move for me to make at this time. Things are changing. My blogs will change with them. What does this mean in my personal life? Well, I am not ready to share that yet basically because the end of the story has not been written. In reality, we are always changing. What is important is what we do with those changes.

 

Happy Gardening in all of life’s adventures! 🙂

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Namesakes

It is interesting to know our namesake(s) and the history behind our names. Sometimes we are named for an ancestor; sometimes it is a family friend or other family member. Do you know if you were named after someone? Not knowing much about my family history before my mother passed away, my knowledge of my namesakes was limited until I began to do a little digging. Mom said she named me (my first name) after my great aunt—Dad’s mother’s sister—or rather a shortened version of her name. And, my middle name came from my mom’s side of the family—no mystery with that one.

 

Sisters in front of the old farmhouse
Amanda Pauline, Lillian Ann (my GM), Emma Irene

My great aunt did not marry and she had no children. Her first name was Amanda but went by her middle name because her grandmother, Amanda Amelia, lived with the family. Pauline was like my best friend when I was young and a great substitute for my grandmother after she passed away. I don’t think there was anything she could not do.

 

The name Amanda has been passed down through my father’s family since at least the 1700s—back to my 5th great grandmother, and I doubt this is the origin. This name has been used in every generation except for my father (I know he was glad 🙂 ) who was an only child and I have not confirmed that my 5th GG daughter’s middle name was Amanda or if there was possibly another daughter who died who might have been named Amanda. The name continued down through several lines and generations—not just mine. I didn’t use Amanda or a shortened form in my girls’ names. I think they are ok with that but I probably would have at the time had I known the family history.

 

Names should be badges of honor, something we build on as we grow so that when we are gone, there is a sense of respect in the remembrance of our name. Do you know if you have a namesake or perhaps you are a namesake? Is it a name that has been passed down through many generations and has meant something special to the family? Did you name your children after a certain namesake in the family? It is something special when we can connect to our family that has gone on before.

 

Happy Gardening and may we make our namesakes proud! 🙂

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