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Archive for August, 2012

I have been a little off lately—my apologies. I’ve made some decisions in my life—thus the changes I mentioned earlier, but they are a little slow in implementing. Some I will share; some I will not.

 

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The book I wrote back in June is finding a home.

  • 😆 I am excited 😆
  • 😕 a little anxious and apprehensive 😕
  • 😥 and a little scared 😥

Through much debating—with myself mostly—I have decided to make a new blog and add the entire book… I really need to work on balancingThe front page of the blog will be for postings about ideas in the book and the rest of the pages will be chapters in the book. This way the book stays current–alive. I hope it works.  

 

I chose to do it this way because I felt that I could not give up all rights to the book. If I want to print a copy of the book to give to someone, I want to do that. I understand the risks of putting it on the internet but I want to share this with others. There may not be a single person to read it, but I feel so passionate about this. I desire no money—it would be nice but was it written for profit? No. 

 

The book has been uploaded and is ready to go after I add some photographs and make the blog publicWish me luck. My biggest obstacle…I have to grow a thicker skin. Criticism has always been difficult because I am so critical of myself. I am sharing some dark secrets I had planned to take with me to my grave. Should you read the book, be warned. 😀  There are things in my past that I am so upset about. It took me a long time to forgive myself but that is part of the story.

 

More writing… There is at least one other book in the works—just barely getting my feet wet and I am not a writer. A post is forthcoming but be warned about it, too. It is not one for the faint of heart and the subject matter will make you wonder if I am ok. I am not a writer but I am passionate about certain things. I am trying to be ok and these writings are part of the catharsis that is helping me to heal.

 

I am still battling health issues and family problems but you know…I’m doing the best I can. Excuse my bluntness. See, my skin is thickening already. 😎

 

Please take care and may you be safe and secure and filled with happiness. Happy Gardening in all of life! 🙂

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wikipedia

For so many years I have lived cautiously not wanting to put lives at risk—mine and others. In the true sense of spirit of a bucket list caution is put to the side in order to live experiences we would normally turn against. Much of my list does not ‘throw caution to the wind’ so to speak. Most items are ways to experience new levels of happiness and contentment—to be able to make those instances become lasting memories—many items are things I have wanted all of my life.

 

webshots–surelyyoujest100

  • 21.    Find true love in a mate—someone who loves me for who I am and wants to be with me through thick and thin; to be there to hold me when I’m having problems and wants to protect me from all kinds of hurt; someone who wants to care for me and I for him for as long as I live—for the rest of our lives.
  • 22.    Dance with my mate every night (Could I Have This Dance-link)
  • 23.    To be married in a church or chapel
  • 24.    Stay in a cabin with the love of my life (snowed in for a few days)
  • 25.    Go horseback riding (I’ve always wanted to own horses)
  • 26.    Grandchildren if/when my girls decide to have children
  • 27.    Visit Niagara Falls
  • 28.    Visit Ireland
  • 29.    Visit Machu Picchu
  • 30.    Write something that makes a difference in someone’s life and for family/friends to be proud of me—not for prestige, power, or money.

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We all—most of us—want to be appreciated for what we do—to know we are making a positive difference in our little world. Most of us want to be loved and have a desire to give of ourselves. I’m like that. I don’t feel complete unless I can give and I don’t feel whole unless I am loved. It wasn’t until this year that I wanted to visit Niagara Falls–maybe as a honeymoon thing since we never really had one or perhaps a “new” one ?? Then a blogging friend’s daughters took a trip this summer which made me want to visit even more. What can I say? I love waterfalls but do not like lots of people. 🙂

 

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May all of your dreams come true! Happy Gardening! 😀

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Hiccups along the way

I haven’t felt so great this past weekend—pretty bad actually, and then Monday afternoon I had one of those things that I have had about 4 now that are like a stroke. This one is the worst one yet. This time the garbled words got so mixed up that my daughter had a difficult time understanding what I was trying to convey. The room isn’t revolving as fast as it was. I wasn’t able to walk or stand and had problems seeing out of my right eye. I could go on but thankfully, I have regained some of what I lost and am able to still type somewhat–hopefully making some sense. My eye is really bad and the most aggravating because it throws everything else off. I am still waiting for an appointment with a neurologist who specializes in nerve damage, MS, and other related diseases. Forgive me if I have said that already. My memory is having a few hiccups, too.

 

I haven’t been able to get back in touch with some people I needed to and reading blogs is something I need to catch up on. I hope to be able to do that in the next few days. I am still around. I hope all this made sense. Take care and Happy Gardening!

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It’s no secret I have been missing my mom lately as she would have celebrated her 80th birthday earlier this month. She was quite a character. She had a way about her and the way she disciplined—particularly other people’s kids. By myself, I got into my fair share of trouble—not having anyone to blame things on—but when friends came over, I was usually the one who behaved, not misbehaved—really. When things really got out of hand, she would threaten to nail 16-penny nails into the wall and hang each of us on one. She would go into great detail… I remember one friend said my mom wouldn’t do it and if she did, that she would tell her mom… One thing you didn’t do in my house was to talk back to Mom.

 

Mom and me in Roanoke, VA

Mom had so many sayings—almost like Gibb’s rules on NCIS. As far as discipline, the most popular one was, “You better straighten up and fly right!” Watch out if it was said this way:  “You better straighten up and fly right…OR ELSE!” That ‘or else’ had some kick to it at times. Mom had a saying for everything it seemed. I thought she was quite corny when I was growing up and she was not quiet. I, on the other hand, was quite the introvert. That has changed over the years and I definitely have my mom’s sense of humor and corniness.

 

After things began to go downhill for my mom, her favorite saying or the one everyone remembers her by is… “I’m hanging in there.” And she did for several years. You know I blame myself for her death. I should have called for an ambulance the night before her stroke but she wanted to wait to see the doctor. I have regretted that decision for almost 20 years. I blame myself for her having her massive stroke. Deep down, I know it’s not my fault—well, it is…—but I feel so much guilt. The weight of the world—I feel like I should have done better. Sorry, Mom!

 

Take care and may your gardens yield happy memories! 🙂

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As stated in yesterday’s post, the Feed My Sheep series has morphed into its own blog. This post begins here and is linked to its new home.

 

STEPPING OUT ON FAITH

  • Scripture from Matthew 14 (NIV)

Faith is a sometimes risky subject to discuss. It is difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced faith. Think about it. If you have faith (true Christian faith), how do you tell someone who doesn’t? It is not something we can just explain, or read about, or something that can be mimicked. And, it is more than a state of mind—it is a state of being. One has to experience it to really understand. That is the wonder of it all.

 

Peter’s actions should speak so loud to us. He was like a child who wanted to do the right thing but found himself in his usual routine of life. Jesus sent the disciples on across the sea. Later, as He walked out to them on the water, the disciples cried out in fear. And, Jesus said…

  • 27 “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

 

SEE:  Feed My Sheep at breadandmanna.wordpress.com (link) for the rest of the story…

Happy Gardening! 🙂

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wikipedia

I hate dislike change. I really do. I like to get into a routine and stay that way, but life is not like that. My blog, which has been a mirror of my life lately (to some extent), is changing. I am not sure if it is a good thing but I hope it is.

 

Number one change:  The series I began in July entitled, Feed My Sheep (link), has turned into a blog all by itself. This way, it has its own space with room to grow, and I can make posts as often as I like. It is called Feed My Sheep at breadandmanna.wordpress.com (link). If you are interested, check it out. It will focus on the spiritual aspects of life, life’s little wisdoms, scripture, etc., and of course, my perspective on things 😀 . It is just beginning. I am not sure where this will lead but there is a big denominator in my life right now and it is called TRUST. Trust in God and step out on faith…remember Peter stepping out of the boat…(link)

 

What does this mean for the Garden2day blog? With any luck, I will go back to sharing more sewing and crafty things. Posts about my medical issues will continue because I think it is important to share that information in the event someone is interested in this “thing” I live with. And, there will be plenty of other info including things about Simon, my girls, the farm, and other such topics–more pre-January 2012.

 

I feel that this is an important move for me to make at this time. Things are changing. My blogs will change with them. What does this mean in my personal life? Well, I am not ready to share that yet basically because the end of the story has not been written. In reality, we are always changing. What is important is what we do with those changes.

 

Happy Gardening in all of life’s adventures! 🙂

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Namesakes

It is interesting to know our namesake(s) and the history behind our names. Sometimes we are named for an ancestor; sometimes it is a family friend or other family member. Do you know if you were named after someone? Not knowing much about my family history before my mother passed away, my knowledge of my namesakes was limited until I began to do a little digging. Mom said she named me (my first name) after my great aunt—Dad’s mother’s sister—or rather a shortened version of her name. And, my middle name came from my mom’s side of the family—no mystery with that one.

 

Sisters in front of the old farmhouse
Amanda Pauline, Lillian Ann (my GM), Emma Irene

My great aunt did not marry and she had no children. Her first name was Amanda but went by her middle name because her grandmother, Amanda Amelia, lived with the family. Pauline was like my best friend when I was young and a great substitute for my grandmother after she passed away. I don’t think there was anything she could not do.

 

The name Amanda has been passed down through my father’s family since at least the 1700s—back to my 5th great grandmother, and I doubt this is the origin. This name has been used in every generation except for my father (I know he was glad 🙂 ) who was an only child and I have not confirmed that my 5th GG daughter’s middle name was Amanda or if there was possibly another daughter who died who might have been named Amanda. The name continued down through several lines and generations—not just mine. I didn’t use Amanda or a shortened form in my girls’ names. I think they are ok with that but I probably would have at the time had I known the family history.

 

Names should be badges of honor, something we build on as we grow so that when we are gone, there is a sense of respect in the remembrance of our name. Do you know if you have a namesake or perhaps you are a namesake? Is it a name that has been passed down through many generations and has meant something special to the family? Did you name your children after a certain namesake in the family? It is something special when we can connect to our family that has gone on before.

 

Happy Gardening and may we make our namesakes proud! 🙂

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I am so humbled. Today I received a note in the mail that someone at church added my name to a quilt memorial that is being sewn together to raise funds for the state church camp while also remembering people and their work with the church.  I was really shocked.

 

Quilt top with names given to me by a friend

I know this may sound a little cheesy but this means so much to me that someone thought enough of me to do this. It really lifts my spirits and humbles me. I began to cry as soon as I read the acknowledgement. My oldest daughter said that there are a lot of people that love me. I don’t know if there are a lot but there are a few and that just makes me grin all over. I hope there are people who love you and that you know it so that you can grin all over, too! 😀

 

Happy Gardening in all of your gardens and may they be forever beautiful! 🙂

 

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Matthew 19:

  • They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)

 

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL

“My, what a beautiful wife you have. Have you told her how much she really means to you? Have you kissed her today and said I love you—and really meant it? Have you thanked God that He has brought you two together?”

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I am here to tell you not to take anything for granted! Enjoy every second of every day and make the most out of it. Show your wife that she means more to you than everything else—not just anything else. Keep her with you in your heart and mind at all times. And, when you forget, tell her how much you love her and return her to her rightful place—the heart. It is what matters.

 

God comes first or should come first in all marriages. I am speaking of the present and will address the past in a minute. God is foremost but your wife is second. No one else can come before her—no one and no thing. And, nothing is equal to your wife. You are a couple in God’s love, bound by a covenant with Him, but she is first in your world just as you are first in her world. That bond between husband and wife is sacred before God. Do not forget it and do not break it. If you did not say your vows before God, you can still do so every single morning and every single night. You might want to renew your vows before God in public. Just be serious about it. What is in your heart matters more than anything. Guard your heart with your life. Your wife is in there. Do everything to keep her safe.

[Protected Content—The preceding is an excerpt from my book.]

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Love is more than what is in the physical sense or what we can see with our eyes. Love is more than sensual urges. Love is caring and compassion. Love is giving. Love is protecting and showing empathy through sorrow and gladness. Love is being there when things look the bleakest, and marriage is the thread that ties all of these together.

 

The vows of marriage are truly sacred and yoke us one to the other. Spouses have an incredible responsibility for themselves and one another. We should never take things lightly or for granted. We should be thankful for each day and our spouse–accepting of this wonderful gift that it is. Show your spouse how much you care, and please, please protect your heart. Your spouse is in there.

 

Happy Gardening in all of your gardens and may they be forever beautiful! 🙂

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The Closer

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THE LEAK

Tonight is the night… I tried to watch this show when it first came out, but the southern accent sounded so fake it made my skin crawl. The accent improved over time and I tried again to the point that I got hooked on the reruns enough to get attached to the show. I liked the way Sedgewick’s character would not take ‘no’ for an answer and how she could get a confession; oh, and how she could piece things together so quickly–excellent reasoning skills.

 

After Sedgwick received her award the other year, she announced that it was time for the show to stop. I thought they could have built on her award status but she wanted to do other projects. I can understand but I don’t like it when actors elevate themselves above everything else—enough about the actress and back to the character.

 

Last summer, there was a topic that was introduced that began to rattle the very backbone of the show. Actually, a shadow of this topic has been apparent for a while but was kept in check. Things had come to a head in the episode called, “War Zone” which aired the year before. Brenda—with her expertise—deduced that a gang member attempted to kill what he thought was another gang member as payback for killing a store owner and little boy–crossing the line of the gang code since the store was off limits. Three US Army Rangers were killed instead, one being a twin brother of the guy who did the “Shootin Newton” murders. Other parties involved in the investigation (sort of), granted (influenced) immunity to the twin to get at the truth. In short, it was like tying her hands behind her back and telling her to shoot her way out of a frontal attack. She could not do anything to the “Shootin Newton” murderer because of this deal and was obligated to protect him from his other gang members. They were still after him so Brenda helped them by allowing some phone calls…  What she said as they drove away after dropping him at his home has been the heart of the matter for a year–moreGabriel, Sanchez, and Brenda were the ones in the car so logic says one of these said something to someone who informed to Goldman, the attorney bringing a lawsuit against Brenda and the city.

 

Speculation of who the leak is has been all over the board, but this is the dynamic going into Monday night’s revealer…Brenda, Gabriel, and Chief Pope are leaving the show. It is more than likely it is what Gabriel said to someone that led to the lawsuits. I want Pope to get his in the end and I don’t have enough space to tell why, but I don’t want him killed. I want him to suffer from his own consequences and not something Brenda did. I don’t know if Brenda’s parent(s) will figure into her leaving but her husband is said to be in the spinoff occasionally or regularly or something. This all complicates things as I try to surmise what will happen. I have gone through each character to see who the leak is–even Brenda and Fritz… I have been doing this for a year…

 

And, this is what Duff revealed last week,

And speaking of the loss of identity, Sharon Raydor finally unmasks the leak. The detectives of Major Crimes, and Brenda herself, must pause and consider how this terrible reveal will change their relationships. Certainly, their identity as one, cohesive unit has been altered forever.

 

While our crimes are more often ripped from the heart than torn from the headlines, the underlying basis of our leak comes from a true story. That law enforcement professionals can never truly take off the badge means detectives and investigators must sometimes completely surrender their personal identity for the sake of the communities they serve. Yet another reason to remember how much we expect from our guardians, and how little we often give them in return.

 

I honestly cannot see ‘the leak’ continuing to remain with the squad and spin-off, Major Crimes. Though it could make for interesting story lines for a while I don’t think that would be good for the new show. It has been long-suspected that the leak was Gabriel but was it too obvious when they showed his girlfriend the other week? I want Pope to be implicated or something–sorry. He is a lowlife scumbag at times. Gabriel has been so loyal except for those times he went over Brenda’s head. If he is the leak—unintentionally, thinking he was speaking in confidence—then what will happen? Will he try to kill himself or does he kill himself when he finds out what his actions have done? Will Brenda be carried off to the loony farm because of this? Or, does Brenda shoot Pope and is then taken to jail? Hmmm. There are so many scenarios that have been rattling around in my brain. It will be a nail biter for the next 2 weeks! I have the party supplies ready—I REALLY cannot wait. This is more exciting than all of the drama cliff-hangers of the 80s.

 

One last thing, Brenda might have her faults but Pope was the one who put her in place to do what she does best–get confessions. He was the one to bring her in to make himself look good for his own gain. Now that he is being bumped up, he wants her to go. He has used her up and doesn’t want anything she does in the future to hurt his career. That part where he said he was looking after her–like he had her interests at heart…give me a break! Will Pope has one agenda–Will Pope. Oh, and last week’s final scene… I knew it was going to happen—just had that feeling since she wanted to talk to Brenda all of those times—but seeing her lying there was awful–have seen that look too many times. Seeing her like that was not what I expected them to show. WOW! And, very good promoting on the TNT’s part before the episode aired. 

 

I hope you have a Happy Garden and in the most southern drawl you’ve ever heard, “Thank-you. Thank-you so much.” 😀

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