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Archive for August 1st, 2012

Feed My Sheep has been postponed for this tribute…

My mom would have turned 80 today. I have missed her more these past 6 months than I ever thought possible–I’m crying as I write this. She’s been gone for 19.5 years. I was always daddy’s girl but in later years before her death, she and I became closer than ever. I wish those years had been longer and better spent and that I had been a better daughter earlier on. I loved my mom. 

4th of July Parade – Mom is on the right

There were many loves in her life—books that is. My mother loved to read. She could travel anywhere through a book to any point in time. Once, when she was little, sick and suffering from a high fever, she fainted into the fire of the family’s fireplace. She had burns on her neck and a few on her face. I didn’t think they looked bad but you know, it wasn’t me. While she recovered, she spent hours reading about people and places and began to build a wealth of knowledge. In later life, she loved mystery novels over all else. 

I didn’t know much about her other loves, suitors. There was one boy she loved who was killed. I don’t know the details. She didn’t talk about it nor about him, but I think she carried that pain with her. I know little about my mom and dad’s courting when she was in college and he was in the Air Force but I have the letter she wrote my dad that was in my blog earlier this year. What a touching love story. Where did they meet but in the library. Yeah, I get my sappiness from her—tears.

My parent’s wedding day as they exited the church.

More tragedy followed her when she had miscarriages before and after I was born. When she discovered my birth defect, she worried about me and how I would make it in life with no support system—no brothers or sisters, no aunts or uncles—she knew I could have a difficult time. This is why before my second marriage, she made my husband-to-be promise to love and care for me for the rest of my life—well, we won’t go there. She didn’t want me to be alone like she had been after my dad died. She cared for me so much. Just like many mothers, she did without so her child could have—so unselfish.

My mom was a wiser woman than many gave her credit. She tried to see things from both angles and not take sides. She had a great knowledge of history, was well versed in the Bible, and was a leader in the church. She drew on her faith after my father died at 52 years of age. She was not in such great health but got worse with debilitating arthritis. She got to the point where she could not care for herself and later lost fingers because of RA. So many other things happened along the way, but there were also many happy times.

Some of the good things… She was a cheerful woman; she tried to see the good in people; she cared for people and animals; she was great with children; she played the piano, sang, was a great cook, and she loved to sew–just naming a few of the things. I get a lot of my creative bug from her. She always wanted to help others and didn’t know the meaning of the word, “no.” She persevered through all things. I wish I could go back and redo some of my times with her. We are a lot alike. I even look like her. Some of her friends became my friends and they sometimes feel that she is still with them in me—tear—sniff.

My mother made the best chocolate cake I have ever eaten. I enjoyed swimming with her because she floated—something I do today but couldn’t do back then 🙂 . She didn’t live long after my girls were born but she was ecstatic when my oldest came into the world. Sadly, she had a major stroke before the youngest was born. I know she would have loved to see them grow up. I have spoken before about how much pain she experienced and would not complain. She was an inspiration. My mom loved me—sniff…tears. She wanted to make my birthdays extra special every year. I miss that about her because she always gave of herself. Tears…

Mom, I miss you so very much. I hope you knew how much I loved you.

Happy Birthday!

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