To my daughters: Do not read this posting.
Last week, my husband promised my oldest daughter he would come over to help her clean the yard today. Back in July he missed her birthday lunch after we moved it to a time so he could be there, didn’t give her a gift, a card, nor an apology for not making it. I was taking bets that he wouldn’t come today and sure enough he texted me this AM that he wasn’t coming and could not talk because he was sick. Then she discovered that he was talking to his “girlfriend” and wanted to know why he said he was sick and all. She contacted him wanting answers.
Funny about lies, they find you out…maybe not today or the next day but eventually. Today was the day of reckoning. I told my husband last week that the day of reckoning was coming soon. I didn’t know how soon it was. I had no idea! Really!
My husband burned the bridge with our youngest daughter months ago when he promised things and didn’t deliver—promising to help after he moved out, be there when they called, would help care for me… She called him out on it. Now, he has burned the bridge with the oldest daughter.
Please understand that I don’t badmouth him to them because I don’t have to. He does everything all by himself. He has not asked about the girls or wanted to talk with them when he calls and he would not call them. He washed his hands of them when he brought a new life into the world-he said they didn’t need a dad anymore saying they could take care of me and all of the things he left and would not do the past 2 years. I even told them that he asked about them and I assured them that he loved them not knowing if he cared or not.
Today, I discovered that he has been lying to all of us for so long. I am mad! How dare he hurt my girls like he has and how dare he lead us all along. I had to give him room to work this out and he chose…poorly, as the Grail Knight said in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
In my bucket list of items where I wanted to do things with the love of my life—my spouse—my soul-mate…I guess it won’t be with my husband… I will be interviewing potential candidates soon, ones where my daughters matter and where I matter. Even strangers on the street have more compassion to us than what we have seen these past several months (7 tomorrow). In reality…please think of us and say a prayer if you will, one for protection and guidance, and with any ounce of luck we will find our purpose and be back on our journey, just the three of us until my girls are out on their own. Wish us luck. We need it. It has been such a long detour.
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Tears…so many tears I have cried the last few months but now, I’m like a Mama Bear! Don’t you dare hurt my babies! How can any father do this to his children? I honestly do not know. If you have children, even grown children, draw them close and thank God for the gifts that they are. Children are all I have and I don’t know what I would do without mine. Please take care!
May your day be blessed!
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Righteous anger can be good for the heart and soul! Just don’t let it consume you–let it go and turn it over to God. (I know I don’t have to tell YOU that! 🙂 ) It’s too bad he is what he is–doing, saying, etc.. While he is hurting you and your daughters, in the long run, he is losing the most. Pray for him. Sometimes, it’s the only thing we can do for each other. Meanwhile, it’s time to enjoy your daughters and that bucket list. ❤
Thanks. I know, but right now I cannot even pray for him. I have been praying for him and her and ukw (hope that makes sense) for so long wanting the best for everyone. He thought I was being selfish… He has lost it all and doesn’t even know it.
Yeah…the bucket list. Working on publishing the book in a blog right now-he wouldn’t even read a copy of it. I apologize for airing my dirty laundry but it feels good to get it out. Maybe the sun will clean it all. I will pray for him again but not right now. It is time to enjoy the girls-have been doing the best we can. The oldest is hurting so bad. She really believed him. This is all tame compared to what has been really going on. Hope you are doing well! Please take care and thanks for stopping by.