Archive for October, 2012

Not great news from the doc

I have been passing out, particularly after my veins begin to turn dark blue to almost black. This usually happens late in the day or at night and has been steadily getting worse in the past few years. Doctors have not taken me seriously and just throw up their hands. I am on my latest round of doctors beginning with a cardiologist—that was today. At first, he looked at me like I was crazy…yeah, blue, yeah… Then he began to listen to my carotid arteries. My AVM is on the left side and I have a strong bruit on that side of my neck. If you don’t know what this is, it is much like hearing the flushing of a toilet in a two-story house—that’s my take on it. It is the sound of the high volume of blood pushing through the arteries.



The doctor just exclaimed how big my AVM was to have such a loud bruit. He asked if was really large and I said it was a fair size, my daughter said it was really big. It really is large. Then he listened again like a kid in the candy store—couldn’t get enough. Now, he says it is very possible that I am suffering from cyanosis because he feels that the blood is not able to pick up enough oxygen. Here is this doctor who is a heart doctor and sees this as a problem after I have seen many doctors before who couldn’t put it together.


So, what can be done? Nothing!!! Yep. Nothing can be done but…I go for testing to make sure there is nothing wrong with my heart and there is no carotid artery disease and such. Then it will be off to the vascular doctor 2 days after testing. Another symptom that drives me absolutely crazy is the tinnitus—ringing in the ears. No one can really tell how or what one hears other than I have had doctors use a stethoscope to listen to my ringing. The last time someone tried was about 30 years ago back when it was barely noticeable. Now, it is more like being in a loud concert hall with people yelling, too—and this is all of the time.


I don’t know what will happen. There is so much I want to do in life. I don’t want to resolve myself to be placed on a shelf, only dusted before company comes over. 😦


Happy Gardening and may life give you more than lemons and if it does, be sure to make plenty of lemonade! 😀



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I am overextending myself but I am beginning another blog… I know, but this is important to me and is an extension of my morning routine. It began this morning. Please don’t feel that you must read it or follow it.


I have so many things that I am trying to do and do not know if I should continue them all or concentrate on any particular one or something different but I feel compelled to spread my wings even more. There must be a reason. With that said, this was the product of my prayers this morning. There was no thought about it just that I had to do it.


The blog is called My Letter to God and is found at   http://morningletters.wordpress.com/   My morning routine is daily devotional, meditation, and prayer. This will be part of my prayer though this is a very minuscule part.


My life is about to take a big turn and it is not all positive. I must reach out and do what I have been preparing for all of my life. I am a giver and I am not happy unless I am giving from my heart.


Have a very blessed day and Happy Gardening! 😀


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Fall feeling

…not really. The calendar says October but it doesn’t feel like it. A few weeks ago, the temperatures were in the mid to upper 80s–a few 90s. This week, we have been back in the 80s from upper 70s but at least the nights have cooled down a bit. After the hurricane passes through the temperatures are supposed to drop–Tuesday’s high is supposed to be about 60 degrees but Tuesday is October 30. Hmmm. I can’t complain too much. My energy bills are down–such a good thing.


The allergies this fall are some of the worst I remember experiencing–there have been pollen alerts most days. And, while at the doctor’s office this week, we were told that flu is here already–early by 2 months…it usually shows up a week or so after Thanksgiving–after families have had time to visit for the holiday. To top that off, there are health care professionals who had flu shots who now have the flu. It is looking to be a long winter.


wikipedia – isn’t he cute…

Not only are some leaves falling now but there is this certain squirrel who I promise is targeting me by shooting pieces of pine cone every time I step out the door. He has gotten me a few times so far. I can just see him up in the tree laughing… Ok, maybe that is him chewing. 😀 I hope you are having a wonderful fall or autumn. 


May your gardens be richly blessed and may your day be wonderful! 😀


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This is my clutch that I am making to carry my super duper cell phone, credit cards, and thousands of membership cards (maybe not 1000s). I have more to do… (these photos were taken with my phone–I’m not impressed)


Left–Clutch closed  …………  Right–Clutch open        Zippered pocket is for change; pocket behind zippered one is for cell phone; card pocket above is only tacked in and not finished. More work to be done.

I used batting and flannel to pad it and then machine quilted it. This is not exactly what I wanted but it will do.


And, this is how far I have come with my tatting for the towel—more than halfway done but I have gotten sidetracked.

I worked on it when I had to have my tire replaced because I ran whammed into a curb drain at the cemetery. 😦  As so many tell me, “If it wasn’t for all of the bad luck you have, you would have no luck at all.” 😕


New project…

I am making some changes in ‘my’ bathroom–little things. When we bought this house 20 years ago I chose a shower curtain that had a similar design as the wallpaper. I want to remake this room into something like a spa for ME. I have to take more baths now because of pain—I want to really enjoy this room. I want to close the door on the world and have the bath be transformed into my own private sanctuary.

Can you hear the waterfall, the birds chirping, and smell those beautiful flowers…oh, wait, that is my bubble bath … 😀


I looked through countless shower curtains online and in the stores…found a few I liked but there was something not right about each one—not in stock, wrong material, too much, too much for shipping, takes too long to get it, etc. And, if I order online I won’t know exactly what I am getting. This is a big deal for me. I have picked out 5 automobiles (4 NEW cars and 1 used truck) in the same time I have had this same shower curtain… I really didn’t want to make a curtain but guess what…yes, that is what I am doing. 🙂


I found a king size sheet SET for cheaper than what I was planning to pay for a curtain, made out of the material I was looking for…  It doesn’t match my wallpaper but without much thought, I proceeded to get a matching bath rug and now need a matching or coordinating/contrasting bath mat.

Ok, it’s RED. Kind of reminds me of my hair color right after I dyed it. I think this color has become my favorite though purple will always have a place in my heart. 


What’s next? A tattoo? Maybe a red heart? I am not a tattoo person but I need things to signify that I am making changes in my life. I draw the line at any more piercings though I can’t feel on the right side… 


Have a most blessed day and Happy Gardening! 😀


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When I thought life could not get any worse, yesterday was a 20 on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being so horrible. When I went to pay the tag bill the lady behind the counter said I could not pay it because I did not live in the county. What a shock to hear that I didn’t live in the house I have been living the last 20 years and had just come from minutes ago. So, I went to see where I did live. How surprised to see my husband’s patrol car sitting outside when he was supposed to be working. I had not been able to reach him for days. The “other” car that is supposedly registered to “us” was missing though I don’t know what it looks like (and it isn’t registered to me…).


I could proceed to tell you that I began to leave messages with people who I would never call asking him to contact me. I could tell you that I left notes at my new address where I have never been before. I could tell you what happened when he finally contacted me but you wouldn’t believe the conversation…


I live in a dream state—everything is in slow motion right in front of me and the rest is all passing by at the speed of a bullet. My heart is numb from pain and too much adrenaline. And, to top things off, my ankle locked up causing me to fall down the stairs–I really hurt myself. I am swimming in a cesspool. There is a lot of information and needless drama left out of all of this but believe me, it is truly awful and that is without any added embellishment—it sure isn’t needed. The fish is really that big and stinks so bad the dead can smell it—no disrespect to the dead. I thought I had heard everything, but I was wrong—so wrong. I could write all of this down for a drama—a movie—and you would think it is a comedy.


Appreciation… When the cesspool you are in is knee deep and smells so bad, just be glad and happy that it is not waist deep or even chest deep. Appreciate where you are and what is going on—the good things, no matter how small, no matter where you are in life. I wish I could tell you everything was going to be ok. I am trying really hard.


Take care and Happy Gardening!


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Troubles ahead

Simon… Simon has been very sick. We took him to the vet Friday but he is not much better. Please think about him–I don’t want anything to happen. He is not his happy bouncy self. He spends all of his time curled up next to me.

Simon about 2 weeks ago feeling better and wanting to be photographed.


Girls… The youngest is having extreme problems with her lung and respiratory issues. Allergies are awful since we haven’t had much cool weather and no frost. The oldest is also suffering from respiratory problems and other things due to family bumps in the road. And, we are all concerned about Simon.


As for my dr appt… The appointment did not go well. First he said he didn’t know what to do; then, he wanted me to go to the Mayo clinic but my insurance will not cover it; so now, he is sending me for more blood tests and to a vascular doctor. The tests will check for lupus and there is an ANA antibody test. I’m almost sure that nothing will show up. I have been trying to find out what is going on for so long and if there is anything that can be done to help. The doctors in the same department cannot agree on things. I give up.


I hope your day is blessed beyond measure. Happy Gardening! 😀


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…a web is woven…

A couple of months ago, I felt the need to be blessed. My faith does not have such a thing really except for praying for another but I felt I needed this—a physical laying on of hands so to speak. I don’t know why. I asked my husband for us to be blessed together—you know where that went.


…the worm draws into the cocoon…

I have been on a journey this year and for so long I walked through the valley of pain—heartache all around along with physical pain. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. In fact, this place where I am does not want pain for others and is a result of the journey (not the destination). Truth be told, I have been on this journey a lot longer than most people know. Now, it is up to me to live as a true example of what I have learned.


…a change takes place…

Before this year, the worst time of my life was when I lost my dad. That event caused my seemingly steadfast faith to falter. I ran and hid from God but He was always there—right there behind me. This time around, I ran TO God. There is such a difference. My faith has been strengthened and I believe it is because the people I have kept close around me who have encouraged and prayed with and for me and my family.


…it’s time…

Back to the blessing— Last weekend I was nudged to rededicate my life at church this weekend. That means that I will go to the front of the church and ask to take the Lord as my Savior at the end of the service on Sunday. It means that I want to make a public confession of faith not unlike the original one made years ago. In all honesty, I feel like I have been a part of my husband’s sins and I need to step out of the muck I have been in, shake my feet, and continue on. I have things to do…


No one was to know about this (I wanted it to be a surprise) but then I told the lady who has been there for me through all of this. She offered to take that walk with me—so kind, so very kind. I had to tell her that I had to do this by myself. I still cry during every service and have trouble walking so I suspect she is worried. What a great friend to offer this.


So, tomorrow, if all goes as planned, I will recommit my life to the Lord. So many things have tried to thwart this decision this week so I’m sure there will be more things to come up before it is time. This is not for show such as when Jesus talked about the Pharisee and the tax collector. This is the real thing. It is what is in my heart. Abraham was called to offer his son as a sacrifice to show his obedience to the Lord. God didn’t need to know what was on Abraham’s heart but Abraham needed to know. When Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, Jesus didn’t need to know what was on Peter’s heart—Jesus knew. Peter needed to know. God knows what is on my heart—but Amy needs to know and needs to make this statement.

…and the butterfly emerges…


May your life be truly blessed and may your garden grow beautiful bounty! Happy Gardening!


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It seems that every day someone or a computer calls my house at least once trying to sell me something or get me to participate in a political poll or something. I have an unlisted phone number but that doesn’t do any good. And, a year ago this month my car was totaled and hauled away but that does not stop these people wanting to supply me with an extended warranty for the car that does not exist—at least not in my possession. The latest individuals have started calling more than once a day…and I tell them I do not own that car.


Here are some of the more recent calls…

Computer voice:  “The FBI reports that there is a home break-in….” [This has become a daily call.]

Last time, I wanted to speak with a representative but they hung up on me. I told them that I had a security system named Simon. He wanted to know what kind of security that was and I told him he was a watchcat that would scratch out the intruders eyes. He wanted to know what would happen after Simon was subdued… I politely said,

“I would take my gun and shoot the person…”

CLICK…dial tone. The next time they call, I plan to do something similar. I can ask them not to call but it does no good—I have tried that route.


Other calls—

Computer voice:  “Someone in your house qualifies for medical insurance…” [How would you know???]

Computer voice:  “This is Rachel from cardmember services…” [She calls at least once a week.]

Computer sound:  Boat horn. “Don’t miss the boat…” [I hate this one and have received these for years.]

Computer voice:  “Someone from this number has requested mortgage foreclosure assistance…” [Yeah, sure they have.]


I used to get angry. Then there was the day that the guy called my cell phone with a pitch and the next day the same guy, not a computer, called the house…


Then there were the calls right after the deaths of the police officers wanting us to donate money—not for the officers’ family or for expenses, etc. but to something they were pitching. While I understand this probably more than a lot of people, I don’t agree with it because this was using tragedy to make money. I was getting about 2+ calls a week and each one said they had never contacted us before… I received about 20 or more calls. One guy said that they only call once a year but at least one other person had called a few weeks before and gave me the same exact spiel that he gave. I couldn’t substantiate any of the calls and choose to give directly to the individual’s family or to the account set up for the fallen officer.


Many of the computer calls have an option to press a button to be removed and I have never had one of these to work. As for the car warranty ones, they threaten that “this” will be my last chance—last call—yeah, and I have some beachfront property… Oh, and a couple of people wanted to know what kind of car I drive now… Do you really think I just fell of the turnip truck—–really? No disrespect to turnips or people who grow and sell them.


I want a button on the phone that I can press that will remove my number from all of their data banks… I know people have to make a living but I draw the line at these crazy calls where the person preys on my emotions in order to separate me from my money. Excuse me, I think I hear the phone…


Have a great day and Happy Gardening! 😀


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The day has come! My book is online!!! Whoooo—whoooo!!! I cannot believe this is happening. It is really here. The day has finally arrived!!! After 4 months, the time has finally come—almost to the day that I first typed out several pages in a couple of hours in the darkness of the night.


You can access the blog AND book HERE, or click on the photo in the post below or the link on the side. This is something I never thought would happen—one, to write a book and two, to bare so much of my soul. But, it really isn’t about me. It is about life and how we should treat others.


The blog is set up so that each page contains a chapter or section of the book with the front page set aside for blogging about certain subjects relevant to relationships and daily life. I have but one aim … one goal … and that is for someone to benefit from these writings even if it is only one person—but, I am hoping it will be more.


This has become my baby. I am really proud of it but I cannot take all of the credit. It would not exist except for God. There is no way. I just hope someone is touched in a positive way.


This is my gift… It comes from my heart!



Live and love well!


Happy Gardening and please take care of your heart! 😀


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My book blog is ready to go. The photo of the wedding rings isn’t exactly how I wanted but it is good enough. They are put together in the form of an infinity symbol. The inscriptions together say, “I will love you (his) – forever and ever (mine).” A red heart is drawn through the two as if they are tied together. This is the result:




Here is where I am totally nervous—it seriously goes online this week. I will enable the links when it is up and running. I want to be so happily excited and joyous but I am scared silly. I have butterflies and my stomach is in knots. I would appreciate any and all thoughts and prayers. I feel like I am stepping off a high dive for the first time but I don’t know if there is water below.


Life doesn’t happen by chance. The choices we make have consequences. If anyone decides to read the book, I apologize. I want you to know that I have changed from the person I used to be and this is a very good thing!


May your week be a happy one—Happy Gardening! 😀


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