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Archive for December 3rd, 2012

My baby is moving away—possibly for good—about 400 miles—not just down the road to Atlanta which is about 150 miles away. It breaks my heart to see her go—she is dropping out of school … sniff, sniff—but I want her away from here because I cannot protect her when she is close. She needs to feel safe—safe from her father and safe from his girlfriend and safe to live a life of her own. This way she will at least have some family even if it is her boyfriend’s family.

 

Her father’s family has not been in contact with her since she returned from her trip this summer. Thanksgiving was the telltale sign for all of us as I have tried to reach out to them even more this year but I guess they have made their choice as if choices should be made? She deleted them all from FB yesterday except for one cousin. I don’t know about anyone else but this is not what I call family though her grandmother prides herself in saying how much family means. It is not true to her unless you are willing to give her great grandchildren—babies—or in my husband’s case more grandchildren.

 

When I dropped my baby off for kindergarten many years ago, I cried all of the way home thinking of the future…to the day when she would leave the coup. I didn’t envision that she would feel threatened by anyone but most of all her family. I can’t tell you how much my heart aches for my daughters. No child—no matter their age—should feel this way. As parents (not just mothers) we are here to love and care, nurture for as long as it takes. We are to be their mainstay when they need us until they are out on their own completely and even then we should be there when they are in need—not as a crutch but for love and support so that they can do for themselves.

 

My baby’s birthday is this weekend. This is her time. It is a defining moment in her life. She will not be home to celebrate. In this respect, she has already grown up. No more baby—sniff, sniff. I hate it but this is my job here on earth—to teach and provide until they leave the nest.

 

She has already changed her phone number. Her father cannot get in touch with her even if he wanted. He didn’t contact my other daughter on her birthday so why should this be any different…? And, yet the girlfriend chided her for not being a part of her baby’s life—the sword cuts both ways.

 

I don’t want this for her but it is necessary. My goodness, how family can hurt! The last time I spoke with my m-in-law I asked why they didn’t keep in contact with us, at least in talking to the girls over the years. Her answer, “We didn’t know how you all felt about us.” It doesn’t matter how someone feels about another. If you are family…reach out, period. The girls have needed emotional support these past many months that they didn’t get. I will not encourage them to have a relationship any more. It is not my place anymore. I am hurt that my daughters’ innocence was taken away. I have said this before. My father died when I was 21. He was my biggest fan and protected me, prayed for me, etc. The pain of his loss still effects me now but this pain I have felt for all of these years is nothing compared to what my girls have been feeling these last 10 months tomorrow. I have done the very best that I can do. I love my girls! I want you both to be free and never ever worry again about being hurt from family.

 

  • Written by a mother who would do anything for her daughters even give up everything for them including her life. A mother’s love can be vast and selfless. I hope my life has been a testament to this.

 

May your gardens grow rich and beautiful and may all of your children have nothing but admiration for you! Happy Gardening! 😀

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