My baby is moving away—possibly for good—about 400 miles—not just down the road to Atlanta which is about 150 miles away. It breaks my heart to see her go—she is dropping out of school … sniff, sniff—but I want her away from here because I cannot protect her when she is close. She needs to feel safe—safe from her father and safe from his girlfriend and safe to live a life of her own. This way she will at least have some family even if it is her boyfriend’s family.
Her father’s family has not been in contact with her since she returned from her trip this summer. Thanksgiving was the telltale sign for all of us as I have tried to reach out to them even more this year but I guess they have made their choice as if choices should be made? She deleted them all from FB yesterday except for one cousin. I don’t know about anyone else but this is not what I call family though her grandmother prides herself in saying how much family means. It is not true to her unless you are willing to give her great grandchildren—babies—or in my husband’s case more grandchildren.
When I dropped my baby off for kindergarten many years ago, I cried all of the way home thinking of the future…to the day when she would leave the coup. I didn’t envision that she would feel threatened by anyone but most of all her family. I can’t tell you how much my heart aches for my daughters. No child—no matter their age—should feel this way. As parents (not just mothers) we are here to love and care, nurture for as long as it takes. We are to be their mainstay when they need us until they are out on their own completely and even then we should be there when they are in need—not as a crutch but for love and support so that they can do for themselves.
My baby’s birthday is this weekend. This is her time. It is a defining moment in her life. She will not be home to celebrate. In this respect, she has already grown up. No more baby—sniff, sniff. I hate it but this is my job here on earth—to teach and provide until they leave the nest.
She has already changed her phone number. Her father cannot get in touch with her even if he wanted. He didn’t contact my other daughter on her birthday so why should this be any different…? And, yet the girlfriend chided her for not being a part of her baby’s life—the sword cuts both ways.
I don’t want this for her but it is necessary. My goodness, how family can hurt! The last time I spoke with my m-in-law I asked why they didn’t keep in contact with us, at least in talking to the girls over the years. Her answer, “We didn’t know how you all felt about us.” It doesn’t matter how someone feels about another. If you are family…reach out, period. The girls have needed emotional support these past many months that they didn’t get. I will not encourage them to have a relationship any more. It is not my place anymore. I am hurt that my daughters’ innocence was taken away. I have said this before. My father died when I was 21. He was my biggest fan and protected me, prayed for me, etc. The pain of his loss still effects me now but this pain I have felt for all of these years is nothing compared to what my girls have been feeling these last 10 months tomorrow. I have done the very best that I can do. I love my girls! I want you both to be free and never ever worry again about being hurt from family.
- Written by a mother who would do anything for her daughters even give up everything for them including her life. A mother’s love can be vast and selfless. I hope my life has been a testament to this.
May your gardens grow rich and beautiful and may all of your children have nothing but admiration for you! Happy Gardening! 😀
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Garden2day 
Leaving the nest is not easy for parent or child but Lord willing she will have peace in her heart knowing how much she is loved by you and her Heavenly Father…
Oh I hope so, Roberta. I just got through talking to her–crying tears of joy because she sees the truth and knows this is not the way it is supposed to be. I hope she takes that with her and remembers it for the rest of her life so that their family will be blessed. I need both girls to be safe. I cannot protect them completely but God can. Thank you so much my friend. Please take care!
congratulations on raising a child strong enough to leave home in pursuit of happiness, your job as a parent is far from over and in fact many would argue that it starts right now. from the moment I left home (a long time ago now) I knew that I had the strength and courage to do so because of the love I could return to at any point I needed it. Give yourself a quiet pat on the back and be proud.
Thanks for that–really! This means a lot. Yeah, this is true because the sense of security carries with you. I think that is why we long to go “home” even after there is no home to go to, if that makes sense.
Sometimes, I could do without so much emotion but then I wouldn’t have the capacity to love so much. I see you found me out… I am enjoying your blog 🙂 . Please take care and thanks for stopping by!
I agree completely with the lady who said to feel proud that you raised a child strong enough to leave home. And being a mother never ends. She’ll still need you in hundreds of ways.
Lillian
lillianscupboard.wordpress.com
I agree, Lillian. Our jobs are never over. I feel bad that she has to leave so soon and feels that she has to hide from her family. What type of life is that? I hope I am around for a long time…and can provide support for both of them in whatever way possible. I love my girls! Thank you. I didn’t mean for you to read this now. Please take care!
Hi, I have nominated your blog for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award. If you are interested in participating you can pick up your badge and the rules for this award here:
http://correnadotme.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/wonderful-team-member-readership-award/
Hi, Correna. Thank you so much for this nomination. This is so sweet. Please take care!
The sword always cuts both ways, no matter how it is wielded. Nevertheless it is a useful implement in Providential hands.
There is nothing more important in this life than to love, in whatever way you can, those to whom you have been intimately linked. And it seems like you’re doing a pretty good job of it, in spite of the confusing human dynamics. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Thank you so much. In time I hope a bridge can be rebuilt but for now–for safety reasons–that is impossible. I try to push on and follow God’s will. I have been able to tap into my heart and see how much I am capable of helping others again. 😀 Thank you for stopping by and offering such positive comments. I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and will have the happiest of New Year’s! Please take care and thanks again!