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Archive for December 23rd, 2012

Twenty three years ago today it was snowing here which is unusual to begin with. Two days before Christmas, a Saturday, and I could not sleep the night before just as a child waiting for Santa to deliver gifts. Every 15-20 minutes I checked to see how much snow had accumulated scared that the drive I was about to make that next morning would not happen. You know how it is in the southeast—salt and sand are not readily available and spreaders have to be leased to apply them to the roads.

 

It was my wedding day. Nothing fancy this time. Just flowers, rings, and a very nervous stomach, oh, and the bride and groom of course. I wasn’t going to write about this day or the meaning I have cherished all of these years and I am still not going to write about it. I have boxed up all of my wedding memories, photos, anniversary cards, gifts, mementos, everything is gone from sight, even the rings. I have anticipated this very painful day for a while. I am dealing with it in my own way.

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I need something to signify that I have made a change in my life and I am not going back. It is the start of a new life for me, but what could give me that permanent feeling of separation and newness of life? A tattoo and before anyone says anything, this is my decision. I have long said I would never get a tattoo. Ask the girls about the years I have spent telling them what the consequences are if you do.

 

I asked several people what they thought and I narrowed it down to these choices… a dolphin, a butterfly, a heart, a cross, or a flower—not a rose. I want something that will exemplify me—something that will show what is really important. Someone 😉 suggested a cross with a heart 😀 and if I get the artist’s permission, I will show it to you. It will appear on my front shoulder so that I will remember the change I am making. This symbolizes exactly who I am. It could not be more perfect. I wanted to get it done today but being it is Sunday it will wait until after Christmas. That is fine. This will show the step I am making as I start the New Year–2013.

 

People who see me out and about these days want to know what has changed in me. My heart has changed. I have really come home and I am ready to deal with what comes next. It is great to feel good inside. My faith is my solace, my strength, and my refuge. My heart is what ties them all together and leads me in the path that I need to go.

 

So as I close this blog post, there are no tears, no sad feelings because I look to the future, to God, and walk forward. May your day be blessed and your life be filled with eternal happiness!!!

Happy Gardening today and forever! 😀

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