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Archive for January 4th, 2013

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This was written the Tuesday before Thanksgiving–the last day I spoke with my husband. This posting is what lead up to the new me because this is who I am and it lead to the decision I made that Friday night. Stripping away the memories has been difficult and continues to be. I hit a little snag this week but I have to face the demons to get through.

When I was a young girl we went to see The Sound of Music—the movie. Back then, going to the movies was still more of a theatrical production than these days. I don’t know why, but this has always been my favorite movie. Great ones have come along and I would watch them over and over but when you ask me my favorite—it has to be The Sound of Music. There are parts I love and parts I don’t…the cemetery scene is one I didn’t like and still have not formed a fondness for. Many of the music scenes are wonderful to me, and I always cry BEFORE cue 😀 especially before this one…

 

The most meaningful part of the movie to me was when the Reverend Mother summoned Maria out of seclusion. Maria had returned to the Abbey because she felt an emotional love for the father of the children she had been sent to govern—as well a love for the children. She felt it was wrong since she was there for the Church. She had yet to take her final vows. I write a lot about selfless love and boundaries and self-discipline. This is the epitome of all three.

 

The life of nuns and so many others who serve God selflessly show real dedication. There is not much room for love of self because their lives are filled with sense of duty and purpose. Julie Andrews exhibits such emotion with little drama. One sees what is going on inside of Maria–the conflict, and the Reverend Mother comes to her aid as a parent would for their child. I love where the Reverend Mother admits that she may have been wrong for leaving Maria in her seclusion for so long. She tells Maria that her love for God is no less if she loves this man and that she doesn’t have to choose. The climax of the scene is the song, “Climb Every Mountain.” Tears roll even before the music begins—ALWAYS—probably because of these words…

 

  • Reverend Mother: Maria, the love of a man and a woman is holy too. You have a great capacity to love. What you must find out is how God wants you to spend your love.
  • Maria: But I pledged my life to God. I pledged my life to his service.
  • Reverend Mother: My daughter, if you love this man, it doesn’t mean you love God less. No, you must find out and you must go back.
  • Maria: Oh, Mother, you can’t ask me to do that. Please let me stay, I beg of you.
  • Reverend Mother: Maria, these walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.

 

My love for this movie was echoed in my marriage. My husband’s family was from Germany and he was stationed there for a while before we married. Actually, both of us have German ancestors and I have always wanted to visit this area especially Austria and Black Forest region. My husband had promised he would take me one day—another one of our dreams… It’s Thanksgiving. It’s tough this year—really tough. This is one of those things I am having to work through. It is hard when you have a dream from your childhood to become so ingrained later in your life. How do you separate that? How does one peel those memories away and preserve the innocence? How do I restore the memories of my childhood with my parents who are no longer here along with the hope and dreams I have shared and wanted to share with my husband? I don’t have the answers.

 

May your dreams always become reality and may your gardens be filled with great blessings. Happy Gardening! 😀

 

Quote taken from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Sound_of_Music

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