In 1970, when I was about 10 years old, I began to have seizures because I was not getting enough oxygen to my brain. The blood flows so quickly through the AVM that I do not receive enough O2 and that is why I must take a prescription called phenytoin—Dilantin for the brand name. It is a sodium based compound that dilates my blood vessels allowing even more blood to flow—very high pressure through the arteries and veins in the left side of my brain. I have talked about this before.
Last year, I had an angiogram to see if there was a chance that anything could be done to repair, remove, or kill off the AVM because it has been growing. The surgeon along with others believe the AVM should be left alone–that if anything is done I would be left paralyzed or dead because this nasty little bugger is located in the motor sensory part of my brain—the surgeon calls it the motor strip. The AVM is large. I used to have a problem talking about this with people–not so much now, but as dramatic as this all sounds, I live by the grace of God and have peace with that. It seems others do not. As good friends that I have and I am so thankful for each one, some believe that I just need to find the right doctor or increase my faith so that I might be healed. I put my faith in the Lord. I am about to be 53 next month 🙂 . I know who gives me life and I do not pity myself or my situation. I am thankful and am so appreciative of each day because I know each one is a true gift.
Yep, this is my brain 🙂
My apologies…
I write today because a good friend has recently discovered someone with an AVM and she believes it is just like mine and that I should see this doctor out west so that I can be “cured.” She has good intentions but she does not understand. I do not need to be whole—not physically. I want to tell this to this friend and have tried but I risk hurting her feelings. I fully believe that I do not need to be healed as in made like everyone else. We all have our imperfections. My life is my witness and I have talked about the miracles that I have experienced along the way. I cannot ask for anything more than what I already have.
I love this lady dearly but people sometimes want everything to fit perfectly in a neat little box, round hole, or definitive classification. Sometimes—many times—God calls us to trust Him and walk on faith. After all that has happened last year…that is the only way I can do—walk on faith. If you have imperfections, please come to peace with them and with God. He can heal and will do so and miracles happen every day but God doesn’t heal everyone completely and honestly, I am so very happy He doesn’t—not me! Please understand what this means. I need my imperfections and others need to see them, too. SMILES 😀
May God be glorified in everything and may your gardens grow beautifully producing plenty of bounty! 😀
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Garden2day 
I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve had three heart attacks, my third vertebrae has been removed and replaced with a cadaver bone and titanium hinge, and I recently had a prostatectomy to remove my cancerous prostate. It is because of these problems that I have been able to find the Lord and to continue the process of getting to know Him. When I was “whole” I lived for anything but Christ. These things happen for a reason. They are part of God’s plan, not ours. And it is because of our imperfections that we are able to share Christ’s love. God bless you and your ministry! He has already made you whole! And, your inspiration keeps my garden growing strong! 🙂
Dave, thanks so much for your comment. You understand exactly…and you are an inspiration to me and the way you reach out to others. We don’t need God when things are going “right.” And, I know that going through trials we are able to learn and share of ourselves. A person cannot witness well when he or she has not been in the situation but can make an excellent witness when they have 🙂 . You are so very blessed and yes, I believe He has made me whole–I know it. I really like that last sentence…thanks…but it is truly God!!! 🙂 Please take care! 😀
OK you two, Working for Christ and Garden 2 Day, listen up!!! I recon I just got a tear in my coffee reading your comments!!!! Both of you are a blessing me by sharing your testimonies!!!! Take Care and may God Truly Bless you 🙂 Kenny T
We all have the same thing in common – the LOVE of our Savior! We need to keep the “love-fest” going! God bless you both! Dave 🙂
Dave, you and Kenny have touched me in a way that I needed and helped me to see where God wanted me to be. I have to say you are so right about the love-fest 😀 . We all need to see where God is leading us and allow the Spirit to work. You have touched me deeply–my heart is being healed so that I can help others in the way that I have been called. I can never repay what you have given but I can say “Thanks”! Please take care! 😀 Amy
Kenny, your post today hit home hard because of the epilepsy. I have lived with this all of my life. Both you and Dave have touched my life so very deeply and positively and Dave is right about the love-fest. The Spirit is working and will continue to do so as long as we will allow.
You have made such an impact on my life! I can never repay what you have given to me! Thank you and please take care! 😀 Amy