I give up on love. I’ve done about everything I can. It seems that I can’t find that significant other who loves me as much as I love him. I never wanted to become cynical or lose hope but I have become rather pessimistic. I hate that.
I am still a romantic. I like walks on the beach and just being a part of nature away from the city, taking in quiet moments and enjoying life—the smells, the beauty…sigh. I love sunsets and sunrises, good food, cooking, traveling, camping and so much more. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want to continue life alone. I wasn’t made that way really. I wanted to share it with that special someone but it isn’t going to happen it seems at least not in the near future. I can say that I like time to myself, so I’m learning but it is so dang hard.
I refuse to settle. I know what I want and that definitely is not a person who I have to baby and clean up after or fight with. I refuse to sacrifice the things that I love and most of all, my girls. The bond that we have will not be broken—it is not negotiable.
I’m learning to live with this the best I can but truth be known—it sucks big goose eggs. Some days I just can’t be so positive. It doesn’t help when I receive a letter from my minister addressed to husband number 2 and me…and the girls. Number 2 hasn’t stepped foot in the church in about 3 years. It’s not like we have lots of members. Sigh. Good grief. Life. Shakes head. The minister is rather new but not that new. Oh well. Hope your week is better…if not, just think of goose eggs and laugh. 😀
Here is some music…
Garden2day 
Love has a beautiful way of creeping into our lives right when we least expect it too.. Hold on to hope, it will surely come. Take Care. 🙂
Thanks for that. 🙂
WordPress doesn’t have a “So-sorry-to-hear-what-you’re-going-through” button, and I certainly can’t “like” that you’re having such a difficult time. But I do think you’re right: keeping your heart open to love—such as that you feel for your girls—means you have a heart full of beauty and warmth. My wish and belief is that your heart won’t have to go looking for someone to love because that person won’t be able to help trying to get close to your beautiful, warm, love-filled heart.
Barb, that is so sweet. Thanks. I am fighting the cynical monster because life is tough sometimes. Who knows what is around the corner? 🙂 Thanks again. Wishing you the best.
Don’t give up, baby girl! You never know what tomorrow may bring! God bless you. Dave 🙂
Thanks Dave. I’m just frustrated with so many things. When it seems everything is good, I drive along until I run out of road or a tree has fallen across it or a river has washed it away. 🙂 Thanks again.
Don’t give up…
I didn’t date anyone for 12 years after my husband died. The person I was seeing left me for a married woman because I wouldn’t settle. Yes, it’s hard to release love when it hurts so much.
God wants the best for our lives. It is hard on the heart and cuts deep into the emotions and unending tears. It’s not easy to walk this walk by faith, but we do it because He loves us and we love Him.
Sometimes, we look for happiness in others, other things and other places. When we are true to Him, He will smite the false happiness and fill it with His true happiness and joy.
Psalm 27:13-14 “Stay with God! Take Heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God! Pray and wait!
Search “His Plans for My Mate” We are daughters to the King of the Universe. He loves us most and best.
In the meantime – go out – be with others – shine the light of Christ in the hearts of those around – do life BIG – and live a “WILDLY” unbalanced life for Christ!
He will fill those empty moments with His true happiness and joy!
Finally, the baby steps to walk forward and not look back are becoming reality for me after months of constant prayer and looking to my true love. He has never failed me! He will never fail you!
Love to you my dear sweet internet friend in Christ.
Bernie
Thanks Bernie! I think God laughs at me. I know there is a reason for all of this and it isn’t that I deserve it. I didn’t mean to sound pitiful. 😀 I get frustrated with the stinky stuff. I feel like I have been shoveling nonstop. But seriously I know you understand this situation. With some things I’m not willing to compromise. I will not settle for someone who does not understand my passions and love, my daughters, my own responsibilities. I don’t think I am quite ready but I have been scared that I will get used to being single and will not want to be with anyone. I don’t want to be hurt again but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t dwell on it but it gets to me sometimes. Thanks for your kind words. You always know what to say. Bless you. 🙂