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Archive for November 4th, 2014

Everywhere I look, I see where the girl who ended her life is being applauded and memorialized and iconized—everywhere. Why? ‘Death with dignity’ is what the headlines read. Just a few months ago, Robin Williams killed himself and everyone was horrified that he would do such a terrible thing even when it was revealed he was having problems with depression and Parkinson’s disease along with the drugs he was taking to combat the Parkinson’s.

 

Why is it ok to assist someone who has marked everything off his/her bucket list and it isn’t ok for someone to take his/her own life without assistance? Hmmm. There is a terrible double standard at play. I will not even get into the abortion issue but that’s another one I am baffled about. Also is the thought that it’s ok to murder someone as long as you are insane when you do so… Justifiable homicide by reason of temporary insanity they say…I have yet to figure that one out because if you can kill someone, then you are crazy in my book. No, it isn’t simple black or white, yes or no, right or wrong but death should not be hailed as a pleasure drug and that’s what it sounds like. Keep reading…

 

To come to the point of dealing with death—the act of killing someone—you have to make it right in your mind for you to deal with it—a coping mechanism as we learned in school. You have to analyze the scenario and make it so that you can live with that decision no matter if it is abortion, assisted suicide, non-assisted suicide, even murder and self-defense.

 

I was reading in one of those ‘dark’ nooks of the internet, this one called Reddit (be careful there) where the discussion was about ‘death with dignity.’ Several self-proclaimed ICU nurses (you never know the truth of what one writes on there—not really) wrote into the discussion about how they wished there was a way to end the lives of some of the patients…some cited reasons of seemingly compassion for seeing people suffer but some were because they thought the families were abusing the system—one even said the family wanted the patient’s meal tray at the hospital and SS check. The nurses were saying that all of these families basically didn’t care. While that may be the case, no one really knows if someone cares. And, no one knows what a loved one who is suffering actually wants. No one can weigh my heart or brain for that matter and see the love that I had for my family whom I watched suffer. I’m sure there were nurses who thought I wasn’t loving enough or cared enough or whatever but that is someone judging someone else…it can’t be done…or shouldn’t.

 

Just like someone who has cancer and wants to die with dignity. They want to spare their family the grief of watching them suffer but it is our way of dealing with death—humanity’s way. If we take all of the suffering out of life there is nothing to live for. You may not understand that. If you don’t, find someone who suffers every day and who also wants to live despite the pain. I watched my mom suffer day in and day out and she didn’t complain because she would rather have the time with her family in pain than not with her family. I urge everyone to think about not just your personal desires but also the desires of your loved ones—not just now or the next day but in the future when you are not around. If we make death so attractive and do not consider all of the ramifications, we are short-changing life.

 

Ten or 20 years ago I would probably be sitting here applauding the girl who sought to end her life with assistance—more than likely. Things change. My thoughts on death have changed because it isn’t easy to make that decision—or it shouldn’t be. It should be a difficult decision and I fear the more we iconize those who choose death with dignity the easier is to sweep those people out of our lives. I don’t want someone to dictate to me that I should cut my life short and neither do I want to be told that I must prolong suffering. I don’t want to be pushed into anything or feel that if I don’t end my life early enough that my children will suffer.

 

Suffering is a natural part of living and we need to embrace that part of life. When we do away with all suffering, what is there to live for? Yes, I do understand. Suffering has been the motivator in the lives of scientists and doctors, nurses and caregivers…the compassion to relieve the suffering. That is why vaccines exist and cures…it was only later that big pharma got involved and meddled with things so that money was the motivator but that desire to relieve suffering was the basis that started it all.

 

Have a great day! 🙂 Hugs to all.

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