Everywhere I look, I see where the girl who ended her life is being applauded and memorialized and iconized—everywhere. Why? ‘Death with dignity’ is what the headlines read. Just a few months ago, Robin Williams killed himself and everyone was horrified that he would do such a terrible thing even when it was revealed he was having problems with depression and Parkinson’s disease along with the drugs he was taking to combat the Parkinson’s.
Why is it ok to assist someone who has marked everything off his/her bucket list and it isn’t ok for someone to take his/her own life without assistance? Hmmm. There is a terrible double standard at play. I will not even get into the abortion issue but that’s another one I am baffled about. Also is the thought that it’s ok to murder someone as long as you are insane when you do so… Justifiable homicide by reason of temporary insanity they say…I have yet to figure that one out because if you can kill someone, then you are crazy in my book. No, it isn’t simple black or white, yes or no, right or wrong but death should not be hailed as a pleasure drug and that’s what it sounds like. Keep reading…
To come to the point of dealing with death—the act of killing someone—you have to make it right in your mind for you to deal with it—a coping mechanism as we learned in school. You have to analyze the scenario and make it so that you can live with that decision no matter if it is abortion, assisted suicide, non-assisted suicide, even murder and self-defense.
I was reading in one of those ‘dark’ nooks of the internet, this one called Reddit (be careful there) where the discussion was about ‘death with dignity.’ Several self-proclaimed ICU nurses (you never know the truth of what one writes on there—not really) wrote into the discussion about how they wished there was a way to end the lives of some of the patients…some cited reasons of seemingly compassion for seeing people suffer but some were because they thought the families were abusing the system—one even said the family wanted the patient’s meal tray at the hospital and SS check. The nurses were saying that all of these families basically didn’t care. While that may be the case, no one really knows if someone cares. And, no one knows what a loved one who is suffering actually wants. No one can weigh my heart or brain for that matter and see the love that I had for my family whom I watched suffer. I’m sure there were nurses who thought I wasn’t loving enough or cared enough or whatever but that is someone judging someone else…it can’t be done…or shouldn’t.
Just like someone who has cancer and wants to die with dignity. They want to spare their family the grief of watching them suffer but it is our way of dealing with death—humanity’s way. If we take all of the suffering out of life there is nothing to live for. You may not understand that. If you don’t, find someone who suffers every day and who also wants to live despite the pain. I watched my mom suffer day in and day out and she didn’t complain because she would rather have the time with her family in pain than not with her family. I urge everyone to think about not just your personal desires but also the desires of your loved ones—not just now or the next day but in the future when you are not around. If we make death so attractive and do not consider all of the ramifications, we are short-changing life.
Ten or 20 years ago I would probably be sitting here applauding the girl who sought to end her life with assistance—more than likely. Things change. My thoughts on death have changed because it isn’t easy to make that decision—or it shouldn’t be. It should be a difficult decision and I fear the more we iconize those who choose death with dignity the easier is to sweep those people out of our lives. I don’t want someone to dictate to me that I should cut my life short and neither do I want to be told that I must prolong suffering. I don’t want to be pushed into anything or feel that if I don’t end my life early enough that my children will suffer.
Suffering is a natural part of living and we need to embrace that part of life. When we do away with all suffering, what is there to live for? Yes, I do understand. Suffering has been the motivator in the lives of scientists and doctors, nurses and caregivers…the compassion to relieve the suffering. That is why vaccines exist and cures…it was only later that big pharma got involved and meddled with things so that money was the motivator but that desire to relieve suffering was the basis that started it all.
Have a great day! 🙂 Hugs to all.
Garden2day 
You made some good points in this post.
Thanks. I just don’t want people to lose sight of life. We all have bad times. I guess I don’t want us to go to the doctor and complain about life and the doctor prescribes a death pill because we can’t handle the pain. I want mercy for all people but we aren’t promised a perfect life-not on this side anyway. Hope you are well and warm. Take care! 🙂
“I don’t want someone to dictate to me that I should cut my life short and neither do I want to be told that I must prolong suffering.” I’m glad that was your point. I wasn’t sure from what you said earlier.
You made a comment about abortion, and I wasn’t sure what you were saying. Tennessee just passed an amendment to our constitution that can ban abortion for any reason — including the life of the mother. I’m sure you’re familiar with ectopic pregnancies. They’re a death sentence to both the mother and fetus without an abortion, but our citizens think it’s their right to mandate the death of the mother.
Anyway, I’m glad you made your position clear. I have to agree with you; it’s not something to be taken lightly.
I mentioned abortions because when we make laws, we tend to either go overboard and make them too strict such as what you mentioned or we open the door for abuse because we do not take everything into account. We should not dictate to people in my opinion how they should live their life or how they should end it. There is no blanket approach that meets all of the criteria. Even those against abortion probably deep down want to be in charge of their own decisions. Me–I would like for people to take more responsibility for their/our actions and plan ahead. I knew a girl who used abortion as her means of birth control…lots of abortions…and she was not lacking in intelligence–she just failed to plan ahead. Laws must govern all of us–weak-minded and strong–rich and poor–responsible and not.
I see people who have not experienced suffering making remarks about how awful it is for someone to be in pain and such and yet I feel that they do not have real compassion for another (specific people whose comments I have read). It would be very easy to just say here is a pill for that–to help someone die because they don’t want to watch. Pain is part of life. I hope we do not get to the point where we pigeon-hole people just to get rid of them–having them believe we as society are better without them/us and better without dealing with pain and suffering. I know both sides–what it is like to suffer. I also know what it is like to watch others suffer and not be able to do anything. I know the choices–what they mean for both the patient and the families. I have had to make many of those decisions on my own and live with the consequences.
I choose to live in pain and suffering. 🙂 It’s my choice. — Take nothing for granted, respect others, give from the heart and try to leave everything better than you find it. 🙂 Take care!