Over the past several years I have written quite a bit about love. This is the week of love…usually the romantic kind given that Valentine’s Day is almost here.
It’s the first time that I feel free to be me without any ties to anyone. No one has a claim to me. My divorce isn’t finalized but I have moved on and am ok…except there isn’t anyone to open wine bottles (jokingly). I guess I don’t miss cleaning up after a man and making sure his laundry is done, meals are prepared, his bills are paid, and millions of other things. I rejoice in this freedom. I still want a partner—a lover if you will—but I’m not going to shrink and blow away if it doesn’t happen. But that’s me. I’m still interested in the opposite sex but I don’t like to be treated badly and I keep choosing guys who use me and abuse me. I suck in that department. I should have gone for an arranged marriage 😀 (just kidding).
- Warning…I am going to lose some readers today and that is ok…not really but I can deal with it. The Christian Bible says quite a few things but the one thing Christians believe or should believe is what Jesus taught and that is to love.
Back to loving someone. Do we know what love is? Have you ever been in love—not sexual infatuation but love that will stand the test of time? If you find that person and love them and they love you, wouldn’t you want to be married? Don’t you want that for your children and grandchildren? Don’t you want them to be happy? I sure do. I want my children to be as happy as they can be and if they came to me and said they are in love with someone…and want to marry…I will give them my blessing and wish them the best no matter who they are. It can be someone who is the same nationality or another race…or of another faith. It is their life and choosing marriage means that they are willing to enter into a commitment with that other person and vice versa. And, I will do this even if it is a same sex individual…
Let me make that clear…if one (or both) of my children comes to me and says that they want to marry someone of the same sex, I will accept it and rejoice.
- Have I lost my mind? No.
- Does this go against my beliefs? No.
- Does it go against the Christian Bible? Well, that’s where you need to read and pray and do quite a bit of real soul searching.
I used to believe that it was a sin to be gay…that was the way I was raised but did you know it is a sin to lie, murder, steal, cheat, and do so many things? So…if marriage is the sacrament of love…and Jesus endorsed marriage or that’s the way Christians look at it and that it is the union where two people pledge their hearts to each other and their lives to each other as the covenant with God and his love, don’t you think God would want people–no matter their racial or religious orientation or even their sexual orientation–to enter into a covenant with the person they love and with him? I do. 🙂
Think about it for a minute. I have just read comment after comment where people professing their belief in God saying that Alabama should deny same sex marriage… That in itself is one thing but I have read some awful and very hateful comments so bad that I have cried. It hurts dang it! ..to hear what people say about others… I can’t help but think what we do to others when we say things like that…why are we so dang mean? If you are a Christian, think about how you treat others. Is it loving in a way that Jesus loved or is it mean-spirited and hateful? I personally think that if Jesus were alive today, we would be very surprised–I really do. We are to love with no reservations. You cannot say I love so-and-so but I can’t love so-and-so because he or she is ‘gay.’ We cannot love others while dividing them and categorizing them. Can’t be done. It is all or nothing.
We don’t get to pick and choose who we love. We must love all—period! You may not agree—that’s your prerogative. I have watched people who say they are Christians and do everything in their power to push people out of the church because they were not clean enough or they were not rich enough or they were not intelligent enough…that they were the wrong color, from the wrong side of town, etc. I have watched as my church took women out of their positions because the men in power were sexist and would not let the women serve on Sunday morning. Women in the men’s opinion must do all of the work and be hidden…and this comes from a progressive faith that has a woman as its general minister. So, I have seen the worst of Christians who talk bad about other religions. While none of us is perfect, we must accept others as they are. We cannot change them to meet our expectations because we are all flawed.
To those who are not Christian—of some other faith or of no faith—I hope you understand where I am coming from. And, to all…I have stepped back from my roots to see where I should be and I wasn’t happy with what I saw. I still believe in a creator—a God but the God I pray to is the same God I have always prayed to and he/she/it (I don’t believe God has a sex but we won’t go there) is more of a universal God. In other words, he/she/it is who we need ‘him’ to be. I don’t can’t believe that there is one religion that is right–I’m sorry but that is my conclusion from all of my studying and praying and everything…I just cannot believe anyone is right making everyone else wrong. Hey, if I’m wrong–so be it. I want everyone to have a voice and have the freedom to believe in the faith that is important to them. Spirituality is important to me. Discipline is important. There are things I like about various religions…the commonality of helping others, loving, being humble…all of these matter…respect for each other and respect for our Earth. 🙂
So, this long post is really about same-sex marriage. Don’t get me wrong, it’s kind of difficult to embrace but I just know that we cannot divide people according to what we believe or what we think we believe. We cannot deny others what most of us strive to have. This is not a recent revelation for me. I have been trying to write something about this for an awful long time. My holdback is mostly because we see things as a sexual nature. We are sexual animals at times and we really need to exercise some brain power and self-control.
Love isn’t about sex. Yeah, I know people who don’t believe that but it’s not. If you get married because of sex, there are going to be problems down the road. Our world is preoccupied with the subject. You can’t turn on a tv in the US and not see some type of sexual connotation whether it is advertisements or shows. It’s everywhere. Sexual intimacy isn’t bad. I don’t mean to make it the bad thing of this but when we are hooking up with others not because we love someone but just to satisfy our urges, then we have problems. Again, my opinion but it’s gotten out of hand.
Love is giving of oneself—it is unselfish—it is so much but when it becomes selfish and about self-gratification first and foremost, you need to do something to save your marriage if it’s possible.
I apologize that this was a rushed post but I feel compelled to say this. I know it is not a topic that you want to hear but it’s what needs to be said. Some will dismiss me and say that I am a lost sheep or that I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing or something. That’s fine. I accept it because I know people are not going to embrace this. Heck, it has taken losing my husband and watching him throw our marriage away and throw away a chance at making a family for his son with the son’s mother and so much more that I have experienced and witnessed in my journey. Peace is what we should be searching for and the only way to have peace is to have love. 🙂
May your gardens grow full of love yielding years of happiness! Wishing you much love… 🙂
Garden2day 
People wanted only to do evil. So God left them and let them go their sinful way. And so they became completely immoral and used their bodies in shameful ways with each other. They traded the truth of God for a lie. They bowed down and worshiped the things God made instead of worshiping the God who made those things. He is the one who should be praised forever. Amen.
Because people did those things, God left them and let them do the shameful things they wanted to do. Women stopped having natural sex with men and started having sex with other women. In the same way, men stopped having natural sex with women and began wanting each other all the time. Men did shameful things with other men, and in their bodies they received the punishment for those wrongs.
People did not think it was important to have a true knowledge of God. So God left them and allowed them to have their own worthless thinking. And so they do what they should not do. They are filled with every kind of sin, evil, greed, and hatred. They are full of jealousy, murder, fighting, lying, and thinking the worst things about each other. They gossip and say evil things about each other. They hate God. They are rude, proud, and brag about themselves. They invent ways of doing evil. They don’t obey their parents, they are foolish, they don’t keep their promises, and they show no kindness or mercy to others.
They know God’s law says that anyone who lives like that should die. But they not only continue to do these things themselves, but they also encourage others who do them.
Romans 1:24-32 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
I cannot understand how anyone, ANYONE, can possible NOT UNDERSTAND this., I have 2 daughters and two boys by the way. You are well versed and have brought many good articles – sadly you are correct, I will no longer follow your postings.
And you have a True knowledge of God?
Thanks for the comment but I was hoping you might use Romans 12–I prefer the King James version for this chapter. In it, we are called to give our bodies as a living sacrifice and that includes our minds, heart and soul. We are all sinners. No one is above another–it even says that in Chap 12.
There is a great evil in this world and if people would take a moment and really look at themselves..and try to actually walk the walk Jesus took–to walk their faith–I would hope that they see love for others rather than condemning everyone and putting them below themselves. It’s called humility. I understand it’s hard to do but I see and talk to people who have been hurt by congregations because they were condemned when we are all sinners, their faith injured because someone said they didn’t measure up and I’m not talking about any specific person.
This isn’t an “us” or “them” type of situation–it is a “we” situation. When we pull back and look at others calling out “them” and “they” …we have sinned against God. Human wrath is not the answer and no one has an empirical and exclusive hold on God. God is for all people–not just the ones that meet certain standards. I don’t understand why women are always the first ones to receive blame..I guess because we are the compassionate ones, born to raise up the next generation. Women are an easy target when we should be raising them up and helping them as men and as other women. That’s what we are supposed to do for all people–not just the ones we want to be around–that’s true and unselfish love–the kind of love Jesus taught and Paul wrote about..the kind of love that I aspire to have.
This is not about me. This is about loving others–when you get to heaven and God asks, “Did you love me–truly love me?” (meaning all of God’s people), what will you say? That you loved only the ones you deemed fit or will you be able to say that you truly loved all and did everything you could to serve those made by God and loved by God? That’s the question that needs to be answered for everyone who calls on God. I had hoped that people would see this but I guess I missed the mark. My prayer continues..that God opens our eyes and helps us to extend our hands in order to help others and love others…
Romans 12 goes something like this…I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice–holy and acceptable unto God that is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. For I say through the grace given unto me to every man that is among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think but to think soberly according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
For as we have many members in one body and all members have not the same office so we, being many are one body in Christ and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith or ministry, let us wait on our ministering or he that teacheth on teaching or he that exhorteth on exhortation, he that giveth let him do it with simplicity, he that ruleth with diligence, he that sheweth mercy with cheerfulness.
Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil and cleave to that which is good.
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love in honour preferring one another…Not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer, distributing to the necessity of saints, given to hospitality.
Bless them which persecute you–bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
If it be possible as much as lieth in you live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath for it is written vengeance is mine, I will repay saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger feed him, if he thirst give him drink for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good.
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We should love from our hearts–not our heads..and not because we think God is going to take vengeance on another. If there is only love in your heart–true love–then there is room for nothing else.
Excellent post from a somewhat different perspective than mine. Well said.
Thanks. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be skewered and hated so much but I guess I will survive 🙂 . The next few posts are going to be a little rocky.. 😀 I try to see things through different eyes and perspectives. I can’t ignore my upbringing and can’t argue that I believe a little differently than a lot of people–I don’t fit in any certain box 😀 . I guess my parents didn’t realize that giving me a voice and opening my eyes–what it would do. I think if I don’t speak up then everyone thinks I am ok with hating on people and that’s not good enough. Take care of yourself and thanks for your comments. 🙂