Archive for April 28th, 2015

I was extremely frustrated on Monday. It showed in my therapy session and my therapist encouraged me to let go of my feelings in my blog. I don’t write in this blog without considerable thought. She thinks I need to share my feelings without so much refinement. I was going to share in another blog but I decided I would do it here, thus Monday’s post. 🙂


It seems that every time I get truthful about my life I risk being told how to fix it. Those are good intentions but all I really need is to feel something of value. I don’t usually vent like I did but like I said, I was frustrated. It took me a long time to talk about anything in my life and then when my husband left, I received comments telling me what I needed to do and I got a few judgments too. There is one that still stands out, lol… The thing is…they were all probably good intentions but not all of the answers were the right thing for me—especially the one that I can’t let go of. 😀


Each of us is different but we are the same. With that said, we don’t march to the same beat—I don’t even march to the same tune. When I wrote that I don’t fit into a neat little box, round hole or definitive classification I didn’t know quite how true that was. I push people away when I feel judged and I step back when I feel my trust has been violated but those are things that I never want to hide because they are me. I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings either but I get hurt many times. I must express my feelings in some way in order to deal with them and to say that I need to toughen up just doesn’t cut it.


I was asked why I began blogging. I wanted to give something of myself…something that I see that can help others. I didn’t want to get involved in the nit-picking type of drama that I see in our daily lives—such as what is in the news. I think when we choose sides, we make others choose sides…that’s not good. I think back to the legend of King Arthur and the round table. There is a lot of truth in the legend in the fact of practicality. It’s not so much of a side that we should choose but of the belief of completeness. Each party brings something to the table…we are equally important and we should embrace that rather than pushing people out.


In the US, we have two main political parties. It is my sincerest belief that the people in power—I’m talking about the people with money and power, not necessarily the ones who are serving the people—have choked out all democratic life. There is no room for anything else. We talk about people being liberal or conservative and then there are progressives and evangelicals…etc. You know the buzz words. You may even use them. We want everyone to fit in their little cubby hole and we want only our views to be heard. That isn’t the way it should be done. We do not foster creativity or growth. We don’t want individuality. We don’t want new ideas. Heck, we have people in Congress throwing snowballs to prove there is no such thing as global warming but the only thing people are doing is showing their ignorance. They want to suppress and oppress people.


Remember slavery? We really should go back and learn about slavery. The people who owned slaves were scared of their slaves. They didn’t want them to be educated. They didn’t want them to become a threat. Manumissions in South Carolina alone were freeing slaves at an alarming rate. Did you know that there was a law that you could not bring slaves into South Carolina way back when? When I was doing local research there were deeds and lawsuits and civil matters that involved all of this. There were fights about bringing slave labor into the state. The local paper which goes back to the 1700s detailed much of the history. People were held back so that they would not become “equal”…that’s a problem we are still facing today and it is 2015.


I have made great effort to try and not say people are wrong but there are a lot of wrongs done by people. I want to say things about it. I want to speak up. I know it hurts people to know that I don’t want people to die for crimes. I have always held to the belief in capital punishment but I had a change of heart after the Boston bombings. I could not understand how someone who calls themselves a Christian could call for the killing of innocent people overseas and then also to refuse to bury someone no matter whether they are guilty or not of a crime. Look at Jesus. He died on a cross…was treated as a criminal and still was given a tomb to be buried in and yet we don’t want to give the same to one of our own—a fellow human being. What kind of hate is that? Did Jesus teach us to hate? No. You cannot justify hate.


If you rule by the law of the Bible you are going to lose. Jesus said that the greatest commandment is love. The Pharisees didn’t see that coming. They thought he would pick a law but he chose the heart. He never treated anyone with hate. The rulers…the Jewish rulers—not the Roman ones—were the ones who felt threatened by Jesus. They are the ones who oppressed the people. I see a lot of similarity in today’s world and the time of Jesus.


I have had it with people telling me that my views are not good enough to get into heaven and that I am going to hell. I’ve never understood why someone can take that stance over another. So many people say they hate the sin and not the sinner but I beg to differ. You cannot separate the two. We are all human. We all make mistakes. You may not agree with me and you may judge me but it is not your place to condemn me. Sometimes you have to let go to see the forest because you are too close and see only the tree. Happy Gardening 🙂


I may vent a little more than usual (or than what I have done in the past) but I need to and I still hold to the belief that if just one person reads something that will help them in their journey then my words have served their purpose. Oh, and I haven’t been reading blogs lately…I need to get back to that soon. Take care and thanks for the thoughts and comments. 🙂

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