Joy

If you cannot find and celebrate the happy things in life, then you are really missing out. This trailer is one of the happier things. With any luck, I am going to see it this week. 😀

 

 

😀

 

Have a great week and remember to enjoy life! 🙂

 

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My brothers and sisters

Life isn’t going the way a lot of people want it to go right now. I’m sorry. I feel your pain.

 

We are upon the end of June and the US Supreme Court will announce decisions today and Monday for the final wrap-up for this session. One of the big decisions is for same sex marriage. Most people believe (some are scared) that SCOTUS will rule in favor of SSM. That may further exasperate your pain. I think they should rule in favor.

 

I don’t have to defend my beliefs. I’m entitled to have them. I am a grownup and want this for others which means that I’m not being selfish. I think marriage is sacred whether you are married in a church or not. I think it is a serious covenant and commitment. I believe it is for life and I don’t think it should be taken lightly. With that said, I do not advocate a difference of marriage for same sex couples compared to heterosexual couples. I think marriage is marriage and I believe in equality for all people. It’s none of my business what people do behind closed doors. I don’t want to know what you or your spouse or significant other do in your bedroom. It’s no one’s business.

 

I believe this decision was made before they even heard arguments. Writing decisions takes a bit more time. Each justice has to plead their case whether it is in support of the decision or in the dissension. Case law is cited including any precedents that have taken place. I wish everyone knew more about the decisions that have been decided through the years. I never really cared about it until last year and I have been reading more about various cases.

 

People believe that states have the right to govern themselves but there is a problem with that. States are deciding to go against the US Constitution in making laws and that is where problems lie. Certain people have rallied and railed that they will do everything in their power to go against SCOTUS should they rule in favor of SSM. I believe these open threats are tearing at our country. They are wrong. I remember a certain war that was fought on this land…our homeland. Rather than choose to do the right thing, the south chose to go to war and the results were disastrous. We are still fighting the effects of that war which began in 1861 and ended 150 years ago.

 

I look back and see where certain people tried to stop such a nasty war because they knew the consequences. They would rather concede than fight. Certain ministers will have you believe this is the end of the world and that you need to gird on your armor and fight. I say, it is better to reach out a hand than to reach for a sword. It takes a strong man/woman to carry a full set of armor into battle but I wager that it takes a bigger man/woman to lay down his weapons and find compromise.

 

Life is difficult but it does not have to be. The path is lit—the road is clear. We can choose to walk down the path together or we can choose to fight each other in battle but remember that once you pick up that sword of aggression, you need to be prepared to kill. I do not think it is an option or that it is acceptable. Do you? Really read what Jesus tells us in the Bible. The answers are there. All you have to do is look.

 

I may be wrong but I will venture to hope that the vote goes 6-3 in favor with (I hope again) Justice Roberts in support. That would mean a lot. No matter what happens, I give my support to people who are marginalized, disenfranchised, and discriminated against. I stand with them. They are my brothers and sisters and they matter just as we all matter. 🙂

 

Happy Friday! 🙂

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Can we talk?

Joan Rivers used to say that and I would get a kick out of it every time.

 

 

But, seriously, can we talk?

 

For the past week or so I have been talking to people about race and how we can get along with others. I have heard some nasty things including that awful phrase that we should send Black Americans “back” to Africa. I don’t get that. You have to be some kind of sick person to think that way. Then yesterday when someone was really being mean, I said they shouldn’t be racist and someone else said the person wasn’t racist…I had a problem. I wondered if maybe they didn’t know what racism is. It turns out they knew they were being racist but they excuse themselves for it and say it is others who are racist. That is worse than not knowing better.

 

Let’s look at what racism means. Racism is when you generalize against a group of people in a derogatory way due to their race or color of skin. It can easily be avoided if we treat others as equals and the way we want to be treated. Simple, right? I think it is but no, it isn’t.

 

In this confrontation, I wasn’t treated nice at all and was called a hypocrite of all things. I don’t know why I expect people to act better. Maybe it is because these people call themselves Christians. They continued to wail about how their rights have been infringed on, yada, yada… I began to get sick.

 

In contrast,  here is a story that began to break my heart to think we are teaching racism to people…to our children. This little girl was told that black is ugly and that she couldn’t be Frozen’s Princess Elsa. How awful. Who would even think such a thing? Here is the story if you have not heard it…link…

 

This is a terrible thing but we are telling kids this all of the time. What is in your heart matters. What you teach children matters. How we treat others matters. This is important. Let’s make it right for all children.

 

Have a great Thursday! 🙂

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Color

Someone told me today that we need to separate races meaning people of color or black people from what he considers white people…head-desk… I say it this way because we are not pure—we have been mixing races for so long. I asked how he proposed on doing that since so many of us are mixed blood and are not really white or black to start with. He began a tirade of how he believed white people were so much better than others and lots of other hateful bigotry remarks…head-desk… I can’t believe people are like this.

 

I don’t have hate for any race. I see us all as one. We are all humans, well the jury is still out for those who think like the guy above. We can choose to be racist or we can choose not to be and accept all people regardless of color. We are all the same. We really are.

 

I have a childhood friend who is white (actually, she is like me—mixed ancestry) but her grandchildren are mixed white and black–each one. She doesn’t see color either. 😉 We grew up in the south with a lot of racist people around but we aren’t racist. I wish people could be like that but even some of my friends are bigoted. It pains me to know I can only do so much but then again, slowly but surely my friends are either changing or they are not my friends anymore.

 

I hear people fighting to keep the confederate battle flag flying in their state—not just South Carolina. I have tried to get people to see things differently but they want to be bigots. They are proud of it too. Why? I sure don’t know. They are tied to a time that supported slavery. That’s not acceptable to me.

 

Something awful happened last week and it was the result of hatred. I can’t tell you how much there is. I have seen changes happen in my lifetime but I have also seen people hold onto their bigotry and they have let it fester inside. It has grown in some ways. I am deeply saddened by what they display because it not only gives us a bad name but it is ugly; NASTY; it is a monster that comes out in the form of what that guy did last week in Charleston.

 

This is not an isolated incident. Believe what you will, but there are people all over who believe like this guy. Some of them take to the internet every day and say awful things. Some talk about our president. Some of them link up on facebook. Some are secretive and some are not.

 

I don’t condone this type of feeling or action. There is no room for hatred and bigotry in this world. Sure, it is a free country. You can be just as big of a bigot as you want but don’t ask me to be your friend and don’t think you are going to get a free pass from me. I will let you know that I don’t support your hatred.

 

Removing the flag is just one of the many things that need to be done. Pride can be an awful thing and this is what has happened because we let pride get in our way. It is time to change…it is time to grow. Humble yourself and ask what can be done for others. Respect should always be given… 🙂

 

The people in Charleston should not have died and people who say racist things should know better–they should act better and treat others as they would like to be treated. We have failed in some ways because we have looked the other way when bigoted people make remarks–we have given them a free pass. No more.  

 

 

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Our story…

Brené Brown as you may know is one of my biggest heroines. Her testimony of truth is rich, vital, and clearly a part of who she strives to be. She is a seeker. She does not accept life “as is” because she looks at the bigger picture, the gestalt.

I have linked to her videos a few times and I just cannot get enough because she is so relevant to the times we are witnessing. We are a broken society but we can choose to fix the wrongs we have inflicted on ourselves.

I want to share this blog post of hers…

Own our history. Change the story.  —  by Brené Brown

When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.

I know this is true. I may have learned it as a researcher but I live this truth as a daughter, a partner, a leader, a sister, a mother, and a friend. When we push down hurt or pretend that struggle doesn’t exist, the hurt and struggle own us.

I’ve learned that writing a brave new ending means:

1. We can’t smooth over hurt feelings in our families. It’s too easy for stockpiled hurt to turn into rage, resentment, and isolation. We must talk about it. Even when we don’t want to. Even when we’re tired.
2. We can’t pretend our family histories of addiction and mental health issues don’t exist if our hope is to write a new story and pass that legacy of emotional honesty and health down to our children.
3. We must own our failures and mistakes so that we can learn and grow. It’s hard but I’ve seen how it becomes part of a family and organizational cultures and unleashes innovation and creativity. It doesn’t feel comfortable, but courage rarely does.

Owning our stories is standing in our truth. It’s critical and transformative in our personal and professional lives. It’s also critical in our community lives.

Until we find a way to own our collective stories around racism in this country, our history and the stories of pain will own us.

We will not get away from the violence and heartbreak. Fear and scarcity will continue to run roughshod over our country. Yes, the violence in Charleston is also about access to guns and, more than likely, mental illness. But it’s also about race.

Our collective stories of race in the US are not easy to own. …

continue reading — (link)

 

Can we make a difference? Yes… Happy Gardening! 🙂

 

 

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Yep…he gets it…

If you didn’t see the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, you really need to watch his intro…(link)

This says it all in a nutshell.

 

Have a great Friday…hug those you love…smile at those you don’t know…wave at those who may be having a bad day…but do something to brighten someone’s day! 🙂

 

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What are you building?

We can choose to build fences and walls or we can choose to build gates, windows and doors. What are you building?

One of the things I learned when growing up was how to swing a hammer and build ‘stuff.’ I can design things and build projects. I can draw plans and take it to fruition. If I can see it in my mind, I can build it. When you are exposed to so much, you can’t help but learn things. There were small projects to house additions and roofs, dog houses, shelving, cabinets, etc that I have helped with and as an adult, I have built my own projects that I have been happy with. It’s nice to have carpentry skills.

 

On the farm, we had enclosures for pigs and hogs—most were wooden fences. Funny thing about some animals, you must constantly keep a watch out for holes made by the animals either breaking through the fence or digging under it. The pigs were gone by the time I was old enough to repair fencing but there were other farms around. It’s always good to be proactive rather than reactionary. And, it’s no fun chasing down cows or pigs, horses and chickens…

 

Fences are good for keeping animals separated for whatever reason. Same thing for people. Walls are built to keep some people out and some people in. Doors are made to enter and exit but are those doors willing to allow all people entrance? You know what I am getting at. We can choose to allow people in or we choose to keep people out.

 

Several years ago I was the head of the evangelism committee which was supposed to bring people into the church. What do you do when you have a church where all people are not welcomed? People of color were not welcomed. Women who spoke up were not welcomed. A lot of sinners were not welcomed. So what do you do? I had been working on that idea and trying to change it from within for so long but people chose to judge others. New visitors were carefully scrutinized. Did they give enough? Were they good Christian people? Did they swear or drink? Could they bring more money into the church? It was a constant barrage of questions of whether people were good enough to be members like the church is only for the saintly, lol.

 

My idea was that everyone needed to become a missionary—an evangelist—because there was nothing to offer people unless we all got involved. The plan was working and then the minister’s little affairs came to light and things went downhill—fast. Things were tight and people began to be more critical. They didn’t seem to trust and have faith in what could be done. They scrutinized new attendees more closely. Where the congregation should have been welcoming, we didn’t allow people in. If you were homeless, forget it. Don’t attend or that was the mantra from the loudest peanut gallery. I was appalled. By this time I had started to lose hope and with my husband having his affairs, I just gave up. It was too much.

 

See how your actions affect others? You are an integral part of the puzzle. What you say and how you welcome other people into the fold makes a difference. You can build taller fences and more solid walls but in the end what matters is how many gates, doors, and windows there are and if they will allow people entry. Are people welcomed? If not in the church, do you welcome all people into your home?

 

If you think it doesn’t start with you then you might want to rethink. What are you building? Walls and fences, or gates, windows and doors? It matters.

 

Have a great week and may you always break down barriers wherever you go! 🙂

 

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Free Speech

I love free speech. It is one of the rights I think is vital to democracy but free speech brings consequences and requires the use of respect and tact unless that is what one is about—to stir up trouble. I don’t want to stir up trouble and my blog is not a democracy. It is a way for me to speak freely.

 

Rules… mine… Yes, we are to that point again. Sorry.

 

I will not be ridiculed or told that I am not a true Christian/believer or that I’m headed to hell or whatever people decide they want to JUDGE me about. If you leave me a comment that I don’t like for whatever reason, I reserve the right not to publish your comment. Simple, right? 🙂 You may use the same wordpress feature on your blog. 😉

 

If your comment involves you thinking that I am lost or at a lower position than you in the spiritual realm and you think you need to quote me some Bible scripture to lead me to the right path (and please remember I was a student of the Bible—I’ve actually read and studied the Bible), then you need not write the comment. I was a teacher in another life (actually this one but it’s a joke I’m not sure everyone will get) and since it is my blog, I am in charge… 🙂

 

I ask for people to be nice. I respect others and speak out about things I want to improve. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. I’ll even discuss things with you if you have an open mind. But… remember…

Your path=your journey

My path=my journey

It’s simple. I will not be an enabler for self-righteous dominance and will not promote violence nor bigotry. I’m trying to be nice, but these are my rules…again. 😐

 

I guess people don’t understand what I wrote in my prayer. I’m not hurt by words that are slung at me—well, I was a bit put off when a person said to go _(blank)_ myself out of the blue the other day. I’m hurt because of the way people are treating others specifically people who are calling themselves Christians treating others as they are not good enough. What would Jesus do???

 

I think people have become so obsessed with the interpretations from others, maybe themselves too, about the Revelation to John that they forget the true words Jesus spoke. If you are a Christian and you do not honor the greatest commandment, believe me when I say that nothing…NOTHING…else matters.

 

That battle you are arming yourself for means nothing if you do not honor the greatest commandment.

 

Why isn’t this being taught in churches and Bible studies? This is what people need to ask themselves in church. Why are people so hell-bent on trying to see when the end is nigh? Are you really that scared of the end or are you waiting for the time so you can watch the non-believers perish in the sea of hellfire?

 

If the message you are receiving preaches non-love then it isn’t of Jesus, now is it?

 

Try reading the part about the wolves in sheep’s clothing…that’s a tell that you need to watch out for.

 

Now for the kicker. I don’t believe in a hell of eternal damnation. It doesn’t mean I’m going to said place and it doesn’t mean that I’m any less of a Christian. This is between me and my God. You might think all of this is a little harsh but I am tired of being judged and I’m really tired of people either telling me to go to hell or that I am going to hell. That isn’t nice. I try to include all people but there are so many who are trying their best to exclude. I’m trying to respect your beliefs but you must respect mine.

 

For those who do not believe in Christianity, that’s great. I’m fine with it but I feel your pain and I am truly sorry that there are people who will judge you. I really am here to build gates and bridges that connect people, not walls and fences that divide us. My beliefs are a bit different than a lot of people but it doesn’t make me better or more accurate and it sure doesn’t make me inaccurate (wrong). 🙂

 

Have a great start to your week and may your gardens grow with kindness to each and every one! 🙂

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I cried…

An emotional day…rather than explain my day, this is my prayer that I posted for another blog…blessings and good tidings to you this Sunday… 🙂

Dear God, I cried today first because people called me awful names and told me terrible things after they told me to go to hell. But, those tears were nothing compared to the heartache I felt when I read that a certain minister has called for a boycott of any institution who will not stand against SSM. What would Jesus do? I ask myself that question. Would he turn away from people who need him? Would he judge others? Would he treat others as 3rd class citizens? No!!!

God, I cannot believe what I see each day…hatred for others and those who are hating are the ones who are saying they are being persecuted. What happened, Father? What went wrong? The moral decay is not coming from some sin that is preached about as an abomination. The moral decay has already taken place in the hearts and minds of Christians who believe the law says to build walls and fences to keep others out. Father, your son preached to the Pharisees but his words are more true today than they were 2000 years ago. There are Pharisees among us who would have us believe that Jesus would shun part of the world. I don’t believe that. He wouldn’t do such.

Father, you taught me to love all, to judge not, and to live by example. My tears are for those who have been marginalized and are told every day that they are going to hell. We sin, Father, when we take your place. My tears are for those who believe they have the right to dictate how others should live. It hurts me to know they do not understand love, the greatest commandment. I may not walk my path alone but sometimes it sure feels that way and yet, I know you are with me. 🙂 Never leave me…

I search for peace to build bridges so that we may all live in harmony…this I pray…

Amen.

 

My heart weighs heavy from what I have experienced today. No one should ever go through what I faced and if it wasn’t enough, I was mocked and made fun of. Do I question if I’m doing the right thing? Yes, I do question and the answer is yes–not because it is a trendy thing but because it is the answer to what would Jesus do? I believe there is a great divide about to come across this nation…there has been a swelling feeling of pride and arrogance and when we look at history, that arrogance is what brings down empires. Each of us has a choice to make. We can choose to bury our head in the sand or we can choose to love. Those are the only two choices that I see.

 

Also, I was preached to last night that I was going to die at the hands of my Muslim friends by having my head separated from my body (perhaps he has watched too much Highlander) because I will not fight against Islam. No, this person was not speaking about the fanatic group across the sea but that all Muslims want me dead. These are perilous times we are in, there is no doubt but to spread such hate and fear mongering is unfathomable. 

 

May your gardens grow with love abundant… 🙂

 

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Society

Society is messed up. Rather than giving respect to each other, we sexualize individuals–men cat call women as they walk by and it is supposed to be ok. Married men ogle women (other than their wife) and think thoughts they shouldn’t but excuse it because they say it is natural. They think it is ok as long as they don’t act on those thoughts.

 

Guess what—it’s not ok. And, you know why, because we have been giving a pass and excusing that behavior for far too long. We accept it because we think men are different but they aren’t different—not that much anyway. Women have the same thoughts and desires that men do but we are taught to control our desires.

 

I don’t mean to overgeneralize but society is suffering and we are paying a high price. Why do you think there is so much divorce? I have had to explain what love is more times that I care to think about in the past few months so somewhere the message isn’t getting out. Too many men (sorry, those are the individuals I talk to the most) are after gratification of self and not interested in pleasing their partner first if at all. When I mention that they should desire to give and please the other, it is like a foreign language to them. We are flunking when teaching how to love in relationships.

 

Many people are not interested in a relationship. They would rather hook-up for a one-night stand and have no responsibilities and continue this type of hook-up. Don’t blame any one group because we are all to blame. Repressing sexual feelings isn’t the way to go either. We need to learn self-discipline and respect. I don’t want us to control morality per se but I wish people would quit being so selfish.

 

Love is something more than a sexual feeling. It is more than a fleeting moment. Someone told me this week that he had a girlfriend and that when she gained weight, he didn’t love her anymore. (eye roll) I told him that he didn’t love her to begin with if he didn’t love her after she gained the weight because looks do not define love. Again, it was as if I were speaking in another language with what seems to me as common sense.

 

There was a couple in the 1960s who loved each other and wanted to marry but they couldn’t because they were not of the same race. In Virginia, it wasn’t done—there was a law. They challenged the courts and won. I wrote about this earlier this year. (link)

 

Mixed race isn’t anything these days to most people but as luck would have it a woman on FB made a comment this week about interracial marriage—that it was wrong because in the Bible it says to keep the races pure—that is what she said. I kid you not. She really believes this but she also hates many groups of people…actually she hates everyone who is different from her. She doesn’t hide it.

 

Well, we are all going to hell if you believe this because we have been mixing races since the beginning of time… I no more believe this poppycock than believing I will have 4 wisdom teeth to show up this year—and I only had 2 to start with.

 

She believes in the Bible and she peddles her thoughts freely on FB. What can I say? She thinks that the children of a certain couple that consisted of a white man and black woman will be of a race God didn’t intend to exist. I hang my head in shame.

 

Race has no difference. We are not a different species…we are all humans. The differences we see come from the type of melanin in the pigment of skin. Science is showing us that we all originated on the African continent. I don’t want to be the one to tell this lady that but she wouldn’t believe me anyway. She denies so much. It isn’t good to hide your head in the sand.

 

All of this isn’t about one person and her views. Her argument was the same argument given in the lower courts for the Loving case that the US Supreme Court overturned in 1967. The judge said that God put races on different continents for a reason and they were to never mix. This is being taught in some churches today. This isn’t someone coming up with this on their own. I even heard it when I was growing up—some of the older people would say it—not in my family but older people in the community. This is a problem just like people not understanding what love is. These are societal problems. They are things that we can help improve.

 

We preoccupy ourselves with drama from other things in life but we don’t address the real problems. Why don’t people love others without condition? Why don’t we put our children first? Why don’t we care about one another?

 

These are the simple things I care about. Life is not complicated when you look at it through the eyes of love. Simple… We need to work on society.

 

Please get involved. Show what you are made of. Don’t hate and don’t judge. Just love others.

 

Happy Friday! 🙂

 

 

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