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Archive for November, 2017

Connection

I would never advise someone to place others on too high of a pedestal. It’s a long way down. We are all human and we will never meet every expectation from others in life but we continue filling our trophy rooms with idols. We choose someone-maybe they have done something which seems extraordinary-maybe someone has hyped them up-maybe they are the center of media attention-but there will always be something that will cause us to think, wait, maybe they aren’t that great after all. Whomever we choose to idolize, we should be prepared that they aren’t what we expect.

 

Brené Brown is my idol but it’s not the person that I idolize. It’s what she has to say. The first time I heard anything about her was this TED talk from 2010:

 

 

She talked about shame and vulnerability and how it takes courage to overcome these things to find connection but it takes a sense of worthiness. I took identity with this – my crazy way to say that I identified with what she was saying. I was like-where has this person been all of my life? This is me!

 

She appears GENUINE. She talks about her personal vulnerabilities and how she wants to conquer them. What catches my eye is her imperfection rather than the perfection that much idol worship seems to be centered around. She references authenticity in her works (and a bit in this talk) of how we have to be authentic to ourselves and to others but that we are scared of being vulnerable. We don’t want to feel the pain of shame. On the flip side, if we aren’t willing to take risks to face our vulnerabilities we will not find connection. If you have not watched the video, I encourage you to do so.

 

As for her approach to raising kids, this is what she had to say, “You know what? You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

 

Just think what could happen if we were to change our attitudes. We are more interested in blaming others than working on what we can do to help us with our pain and shame. Life could change. We could work toward things-positive things. Our politics could change. We can’t grow if we don’t face our shame. We can’t conquer our vulnerabilities if we avoid and numb. And, when we accept that we are worthy, we are able to make connection.

 

 

Connection

Vulnerability       –          Shame

Courage

 

 

She has another TED talk from 2012:

 

 

But… my very VERY favorite of all things in video form is this little goody of how she describes empathy:

This is truly the best to me. I love it!

 

We need positive people in our lives. We need guiding forces. We need to understand that people are not perfect but that many have a message that is genuine. To me, life is growth. We must continue to identify our vulnerabilities and shame and then work to deal with them making us feel worthy and more connected.

 

Happy Gardening! 🙂

 

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