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Archive for the ‘Crime’ Category

I was a shy child—sometimes people try to see me as shy. My daughters don’t believe I ever was. Deep down I am shy but I am also resilient and push myself. I have a lot of self-control—or used to 🙂 –I would make myself overcome things that crossed my path.

 

One Friday night I was doing my usual working the floor at the restaurant (Friday nights were our busiest) which meant, I was in charge of everything—a great power trip—well, until someone comes running out of the restroom to tell me the men’s toilet was clogged. I was the best handy-man around so I head straight to the back and get some plastic bags and such—knock on the door and head in to find water spilling over the side of the toilet. I had to do that terrible thing of reaching into the toilet and I didn’t shy away from it. I knew I had to clean up and get back taking care of customers. I did my part and got an employee to finish up.

 

To get to this point, somewhere along the way I became less shy. It was a power trip being able to do so much and think fast on my feet. It was constant and I enjoyed it immensely. I didn’t like the politics but I loved the rush that work gave me. Toilets…not so much 😀 .

 

I am in unfamiliar territory. Hiding because a person has taken something away from me is tearing me apart. I will see a counselor today (Monday) about what happened to me years ago. I get to relive that night again and that to me is so very scary. I had someone tell me that I should be over it since it was so long ago but this is a lot like grief. If it isn’t handled correctly, then there is this part of me that cries out. I can’t believe it has taken me this long to put it together. I guess it was because I acted like it didn’t happen.

 

If you have ever been taken advantage of against your will and you had to fight your attacker, you want to have that peace of mind again. You want to take back what was stolen—or I do anyway. I want the person to never have that control over me again—no control. I want to be able to walk away so I can have peace of mind. This is why I had such a difficult time with my to-be-ex-husband. I was fighting for control and he kept taking everything I worked so hard for in an instant. I practiced—going through the various scenarios and then he would swoop in and in a matter of moments I was in tears. It is terrifying to think I may never reach the point I need to be to have that control.

 

Some people have judged me harshly and that is not fair but what I need is to learn how to deal with that. I feel that I am attacked in some ways. I need my voice again and to be able to stand up to those who try to take things away. I am not that shy child anymore but I have been abused and I didn’t help things by sweeping them under the rug.

 

So, today begins a new day and hopefully I can learn to stand again and feel good about myself. It isn’t easy. I would much rather face grief or even a clogged toilet but I have to do this. There comes a time where the evil from that night long ago has to find its way to the light of day. I am apprehensive but I am hopeful. 🙂

 

😀

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This is not an easy post for me but I feel compelled to discuss this as it is a problem in society–one that can be made right if we could all work together. I am having some issues with this as I didn’t reach out for help years ago and should have. I thought I could handle it.

I look at the calendar and I see 2014, a date in modern times, but I don’t see equality like there should be. Why is that? Basically, we are different but it comes down to what we perceive and what we are taught. Outside we look different but inside we are all the same.

 

I am a female. I’m pretty sure that is obvious. 🙂 I have endured people shouting obscenities at me as well as being whistled at. Guys yelling at me is one thing. I either ignore it or say something quirky just because that’s who I am. We learn to deal with what people say to us at a young age but it doesn’t make it right.

 

Other things… Twenty-five years ago, I was raped and some years before I was almost raped. I didn’t ask for it but I have heard guys say that women deserve what they get. I have been taken advantage of sexually and I could not do a dang thing about it but what bothers me is that we raise our children to be aggressors. We turn our heads when people talk derogatively of women. Why is that? I have seen and heard men say some awful things to me and to others. It is not ok. And, it isn’t ok for women to do the same to men. Everyone deserves respect—you do—I do—we all deserve respect and we need to learn how to respect others.

 

We can condition ourselves to behave in a way that treats people in a fair way by not taking advantage. I was told I was to blame for those incidents above. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time for the first one. That was back in college when I first went off to school. It wasn’t someone I knew. I was able to get away but it hurt me because I lost something—my presence of mind and peace—I lost trust in others. After that, I tried to be aware of people and didn’t get so close. I wouldn’t let my guard down.

 

Many years later I was raped by someone I was dating—someone I trusted and loved. I tried to fight him off but it was too late by the time I realized what was really happening and could not get the upper hand. I cried—I remember that memory so well–tears pouring down my cheeks—he hurt me. He told me later that he thought I meant yes all the times I was screaming no. Why? I felt stupid that I let myself be taken advantage of. I swore that no one would do that to me and I felt that I let it happen. I didn’t tell anyone until years later. There is more to this story and the shame I have lived with. I buried it for a long time and never sought therapy because I thought I could deal with it but like a thorn, it festered away.

 

I want a world where we don’t rape other people and a place where no means no. I want a world that has love and respect in it and I want to be a part of that. I am tired of seeing people who think they know what love is but yet they have no clue because love isn’t finding gratification when one wants it. It isn’t selfishness. It isn’t getting what one wants without giving. Love is giving and what you get in return is love received. I feel unloved and undeserving and I shouldn’t. Deep down I know I have value but I am having an awful time right now. I have tried to find meaning and purpose in life and I know deep down there is something or there should be for me to build on. I’m tired of feeling like a victim but it keeps happening over and over…things beyond my control and that is what I have fought to get back—is control over my life.

 

It is important to me that children, especially girls, grow up understanding that equal means equal and this will not happen until all men support women and women support those men so that all men can grow to be upstanding men understanding what no means and what equal means. There has been improvement in many areas but there is so much more and we (humanity) are losing. If you don’t believe me, take a trip through the internet if you dare but be warned–it isn’t pretty. Visit some of the dark corners where it is acceptable and actually approved (and even encouraged) to degrade women. This is not a good thing. When you have gang type behavior—it is never a good thing.

 

I am not sure how to make things better but I know if guys stood up to other guys, then the behavior would not be acceptable anymore. When women speak up, they are called feminists and are hated. What have we become—less human? We are all in this world together and we need to learn how to live together. We need to learn how to respect each other. It doesn’t just happen. We must condition ourselves to respect others.

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In the news this morning I was reading about how a woman had to escape Sudan because she had converted her religious beliefs. She was on death row because of it. It is hard to understand what it means to be found guilty of what one believes in. We take our freedoms so casually in our smugness—we don’t all do so but many outside the US see it as such.

 

I was thinking about this when my attention was pulled to the ISIS order in Iraq for women to be mutilated—genitals (link here). GOSH! This is unacceptable to me—not just the mutilation but telling someone they must do this. There are a lot of gray areas in life—to me—but this isn’t one of them. I have recently changed how I view circumcision for boys/men. I don’t think anyone has a right to tell people how they/we should “wear” our genitals. That may sound crude but I really don’t think anyone has the right to tell me to mutilate my genitals. Do you?

Elderly woman hands up - Issan, Thailand 

Photo:  Flickr

I think we need to quit harming ourselves and our bodies especially at such a young age. Do you believe in a God, the Creator, someone divine, deity or whatever (or maybe you don’t)? Would it not make sense that we love ourselves and others and quit trying to make everyone the same—to fit into our beliefs, or your beliefs, or whatever? I understand circumcision and the reasons behind it but I don’t agree with it—not anymore. In my eyes, it is a lot like baby baptisms. In fact, I watched some video taken of Orthodox baptisms the other day. One was where a baby died because of it. This was no sprinkling of water but immersing small babies three times in a large vat of water. No blood is tapped or skin is cut but this is a bit senseless. Religion is personal or should be. It is what is in one’s heart that counts—commitment—personal. I understand community in regards to religion but not to the point of shame.

 

I am a woman. I am not ashamed of being a woman. What shame I have has nothing to do with who I am but what mistakes I have made in my life. When I am told I am inferior because of my sex, I cringe because I know this is not true. No one has the right to think he or she is better than another. If you are a man, do you think you are greater than a woman—that she is any less? She isn’t. If you think you are greater or better then we need to talk 🙂 .

 

We should be holding each other up and not putting others down. Don’t try to make me feel ashamed that I am a woman. It won’t work. I have heard it too many times. If you are a woman, more power to you and if you aren’t, more power to you who support women. We are all in this together–men and women. No matter who you are, I wish you a very blessed day! 🙂

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A child died today. It wasn’t because of sickness or disease. It wasn’t of natural causes. This is what happens when parents become the monsters and not the guardians we are supposed to be.

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Children are precious. We as parents are here to protect them number one and to provide for whatever they need. Life isn’t perfect. We don’t do everything right. But, children, they are the treasures that we should love and cradle in our arms. When we lose our perception of our duties as parents we lose our soul. We cannot protect the babies when we become the monster.

 

My heart is saddened but relieved finally. This baby was hurt and could not be healed, made whole at least not on this earth. I have been in prayer for “it” since last week for God to have mercy and take the child. I know the baby is in a better place tonight. This is not the only child to be in this predicament or will it be the last but as parents we must learn that our babies come first before ourselves.

 

Heavenly Father, I thank You for so much but today I thank you for holding this child in Your hands until it was time to call “it” home. Your love is so amazing that you can still love us even when we have hurt others. This is important because as humans, we have an awful time with loving those who do harm. Continue to bless each child and watch over us all so that we may better protect and guard the little ones You give us. In Your Holy Name, Amen. 

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Some are asking what the big deal is with having one’s information parsed and stored if it will prevent “terrorism.” Of course I am referring to the big story of the day last week and the fallout today…and for many days to come. Some equate it to being searched before boarding an airplane but this isn’t the case now is it? Did you know you were being searched? This is where technology and secrecy have merged together in order to become THE spy. Think about bots that are traveling the internet gathering information. You don’t see them but you can find the trails they leave behind…well, maybe if you are lucky or if you know where and how to look. This is really nothing new except for the advancements in technology and the copious amounts of data that is stored, who is targeted, and the consequences for actions inside and outside of the government boundaries. Some say it is a necessary evil and praise our government for keeping us safe. It isn’t what is being done at the present level that scares me but at the next level and that has been the thing with technology—the ball begins to roll—as it does so, it gains momentum, grows larger, and gets out of control so that no one can control it or the people behind it.

 

Back in my college days, which is considered prehistoric to some (wink wink, daughter), one of my majors was computer science. I loved it and was great at it—was awarded best in my class but I was an over achiever back then. Always in the back of my mind was the question where computers would take us and how they would be used. Back then, I loved the scientific part of life and what computers could do to help with that—to expand knowledge—to see things beyond the horizon, but I knew once things evolved—technology would eventually be used for not so great things. I began to put distance between me and my knowledge and training because I wanted to see the world in a different light. This latest news—the extent my government will go to spy on its citizens is not new to me or many others but the information presented shows proof for what we knew was happening.

 

I don’t know if it upsets you that there is so much power behind not only our nation but several nations in the world and there are no checks and balances to keep governments and leaders in line. Here, you can do about anything you want in the privacy of your bedroom but when you pick up a cell phone (even in your bedroom), you are at the mercy of the spies including our (your?) government. You probably are saying you have nothing to hide. I don’t either but I don’t want to be a part of this type of behavior. I even want to say, see, I wasn’t being paranoid all of these years. I knew it was coming. If you think this is the end of the road, think again. This is only the beginning as nations and companies vie for more control, more knowledge (information on people), better communication, etc. only behind the scenes–we will not know. It is that kind of thing… “I told you so.”

 

I hate to say it but there is more that is unknown to most people and evidence to its existence will never see the light of day. It makes Mel Gibson’s character in Conspiracy Theory very naïve. I have dreaded this day most of my life because I have never wanted to be trailed, tracked, pinpointed. As long as you have your phone on you there is the capability for you to be followed even more accurately than in the TV show, Person of Interest.

 

There is a guy who is considered a whistle blower for this story. I again see people lining up to throw all types of nasty things at him, wish he was dead, even wish bad things for his family, saying he was wrong, a traitor, etc. Be careful who you give your allegiance to and be careful what you believe is said without question. Oh, and by the way, I don’t like Kool-Aid 😀 . I like to think for myself. I don’t just hop aboard the bandwagon because everyone else is doing it. My opinion:  this guy is trying to put brakes on the ball and has sacrificed his life. People have renounced his coming forward. Think about it. He puts credibility to what info has come out. This is only a portion–not the whole pie. Personally, I am grateful. It takes real guts to stand up for what one believes is “right.”

Have a great day and Happy Gardening! 😀

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Children…(hold onYou aren’t going to like this post and probably the next few but I have to write them. Normally, I would apologize but I cannot do that this time. I hope you understand.

 

treble 1Children are born with no hatred toward others. They learn it from the people they associate with, peers, family, and leaders. You would think adults would know better. It comes from all sides even within religious groups who say they are not haters or against others.

 

Children are like sponges. They absorb as much as possible often not understanding what they are imitating. Truth be told, there are many adults the same way.

 

Children are the innocence of our society. They are why so many of us try to protect them at all costs. They cannot protect themselves and do not in many cases recognize danger.

 

In this country, we have seen an increase of lives lost due to what we term as terrorist attacks. In other countries, this is not unusual but here it is. So many of these attacks are performed by young people and I am including mass shootings too. It breaks my heart each time for the victims and for the ones who are involved. How can I feel pain for them, the ones who plan or implement deadly drama? I have been headed this direction for a while. Perhaps it is because these young ones could just as easily kill themselves as they could kill others. This means that they are in some type of turmoil before they get to a point…even if they are carrying out a plot they believe will help their beliefs.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I cry for the victims so hard it hurts but I can’t call for the deaths of any more young people for the sake of revenge or making it “right” or justice. An eye for eye isn’t justice and I think we are hurting ourselves because the words we utter are HATE words—and hatred creates monsters in others AND in ourselves.

 

I have visited more than my share of message boards this past week and the comments are despicable to tell you the truth. There is a story in the Bible that goes somewhat like this. A woman had been found to have committed adultery… It is said that the teachers of the law and Pharisees brought this woman to Jesus and said the Law of Moses would have her stoned–that was the case back then—just imagine if we did that now… They wanted to know what Jesus thought. He said the one without sin should cast the first stone. The woman was not stoned.

 

Not one of us is without sin but I want to take it further. What if the woman stole something very valuable? Should she be stoned—flogged, hanged, injected? What if she coerced a young man into doing something? Should we stone her? What if she was found to be a murderer? Maybe we should stone her now? I have always been a believer in capital punishment. What if I am wrong? Maybe there are a lot of things wrong.

 

Sin is sin no matter what—doesn’t sound right but it is. If it is ok to drive above the speed limit and not be caught how is it ok to murder someone? Neither is right. Both are wrong. And, if there is problem with man’s laws against God’s laws…choose another sin. Sin… it doesn’t matter–it is all against God.

 

We were all children once. We all held that innocence that is so critical to see the face of Jesus. Somewhere along the way we lost our innocence. God help us all and help us to not push away but to pull toward, embrace as Jesus taught us. Stand strong in faith. Have faith in God and do your best to have no enemies but if you do, love them.

 

It isn’t easy but God didn’t say it would be. 😀  Have a most blessed day!

 

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As I was sent on my way to first grade my parents said, “Get a spanking at school and there will be one waiting for you when you get home.” I didn’t try to find out how true that was but knowing my parents there would not be just one but two

wikipedia

spankings waiting for me. We didn’t have a woodshed; we didn’t even have a fireplace until I was 14 😀 , but that would NOT deter my parents. Many parents in the area were the same as mine. You know that phrase, “Spare the rod, spoil the child?” That sentiment was emblazoned on a wood plaque in many a home. We were raised to respect people and property—well, most of us.

 

IN THE NEWS — Another cemetery was vandalized in Alabama last week. I saw the headline and checked to see if it was one I knew. It wasn’t but there was a particular cemetery near where my mother grew up dating back to a battle during the War of 1812. It had been vandalized several times (not the only cemetery but this has become a type of recreation 😦 ). An ancestor that settled this area had a brother killed and is buried at the one from 1812 . The cemetery was moved at least twice, the first was to make way for a lake then it was moved again to make way for a subdivision. People do not have respect for others. It is a shame. It was suspected that teenagers were hanging out in the area drinking when they spray-painted some of the stones and then went back and broke them not once, not even twice, but several times. It was a sad scene. 

 

I guess you have seen about the Petraeus scandal. I have been trying to avoid as much news as possible but that has not escaped my eyes. At the risk of sounding crass, “Guys, what is it that causes this?” Are you really willing to throw everything away? Women do it, too, but what has happened to respect, respect for others, respect for property, respect for oneself and just pure respect? Where are the boundary lines? You can make anything exciting if you want to and it doesn’t have to be with someone ELSE’s spouse or without your spouse. I’m still trying to get over Mark Sanford and a few others who were out living it up while their wife was performing some super woman feat—one was giving birth to their child. And, let us not forget John Edwards… I can’t even write those words. Men who leave their wives when their wives have health issues… I told my husband that I would so like to take him out to the woodshed, or get someone else to… Well, you get the picture.

 

I urge us all to know where our boundaries are and if not, learn them. See them and cherish what we have. As for the tombstones…I think this is worse than a crime of vandalism. It is a crime against home and sanctuary—it was their place of rest. When we dumb-down the crime by making it less sensational, we do a disservice to us and all of the people that pass after us. And, infidelity… You wouldn’t want to be treated with such lack of respect so treat others better than you would want to be treated…PLEASE. Thank you!

 

By the way, I never got a spanking all through school–not from the teachers but I did get in trouble one time…I would rather have had a spanking… 🙂 …I would rather have had three. Be good to others and cherish your spouse! Happy Gardening! 😀

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from wikipedia

Bizarre things happen here sometimes. In the spring of 2009, a woman was brutally murdered in her home, beaten with a claw hammer and baseball bat and left to die. Her body was discovered on the floor of her garage. It was a gruesome murder by all who saw it. This happened right after she had gotten her son off to school. Her husband was out of town and she had been anticipating a home improvement contractor. The culprits…a mother-son duo.

This woman “mastermind” of a murderer (confessed in court in order to receive a plea deal) lived next door. She had been having an affair with the victim’s husband. He would not leave his wife for her so she thought she would get rid of her competition. Sick, but that’s how many women in this area operate.

The duo staged the crime scene to look like a robbery not only in the victim’s home but also in the cheater’s home…yeah, I know it takes two, but this woman is more than a few bricks shy of a load. To throw the detectives off (I guess that was her plan) she had her son shoot at her while in Augusta (at her workplace) a few nights later. The plan was to have the son threaten her so a witness could overhear it on her cell phone but the son actually shot her… That set off alarms for the investigators from two counties—too many crazy things going on—too many coincidences and not enough hard facts.

The duo’s goose was cooked and even the lawyer could not find a technicality to use. The DA was going for the death penalty for both but a plea deal netted each one life in prison without the possibility of parole for the death/murder PLUS life for armed robbery PLUS 20 years for burglary—all to be served consecutively—very important. It is the next best thing but it will not bring Kay Parsons back.

You may wonder why I am writing about this. The plea was made in court 2.5 weeks ago and I have wanted to write about this crazy crime. Also, 2 weeks ago while one daughter was out of town, my other daughter and I went to a movie that Friday night. We returned to find a message on the answering machine. When I played the message, the voice of “a woman” was calling my husband’s name—no message. I called him and asked, “Why?” It seems that if I can believe him, he is not with her any more. He said that she wouldn’t call the house if she really wanted to get a hold of him. I know what believing him has gotten me in the past…

We have an unlisted phone number and neither of us gives it out. Yes, people can pay to get it, but our friends, people we know, and family know the situation. She, on the other hand, has all of our phone numbers because she had access to his phone when she was wanting to know who was contacting him (me)–she didn’t trust him. She thought I was out of his life, I guess. I figure she is just trying to start something.

Is this one crazy enough to kill me? I think so—I really do. I am concerned about my kids but not about me, if you understand. I can protect myself and to be honest, so can they. By the way, I don’t have a garage 🙂 and my dad taught me how to hit at what I aim at 🙂 :). And, my husband taught our girls. No, I haven’t lost any sleep. I thought this was all quite strange. It is such a shame that people are so selfish—really selfish.

Have a great day and Happy Gardening in all of your many gardens of life!

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ODMP from wikipedia

Three months ago (plus 5 days) an officer was shot and killed in Augusta. That was J D Paugh (link to his Officer Down Memorial Page). At the time, I posted quite a bit about him, the connection with our family and how it shook the entire community. It actually rocked the foundation of our lives because of who he was and the senseless killing. Two months later, another officer was killed but this time it was in the neighboring county-in the city of Aiken. His name was Scotty Richardson (link to his ODMP).  Before last month, the city of Aiken had not had an officer killed by gunfire since 1950 (only one other died and that was by electrocution). It is with great sadness that one month later the same agency has lost another officer! From 1950 to the end of 2011 is a long time, 61+ years. For it to be only a month between these two fatal shootings is just ludicrous. Please tell me we are part of someone’s nightmare!!!

This was a female officer which makes it even more difficult. She was just doing her job checking on suspicious activity in the area this Saturday morning. Her name was Sandy Rogers (link to her ODMP). I did not know her, but that does not matter. I am sure she was an upstanding officer, and she has been working with the city of Aiken for 27 years. This is another loss that no one can fathom. Who can understand the bad element that has beset our area?

Believe it or not, the story took a turn for the worse if you can wonder how. The accused suspect of the latest fallen officer is also accused of murdering his girlfriend. The news is that she was pregnant, and they lived in Augusta. This means, in my way of seeing things, this guy has taken not one, not two, but three lives in just a few hours.

I do not know if our area has ever had this many officers killed in this short period of time, but there is such an element that has arisen lately. It used to be that the bad guys had some respect for those serving in law enforcement. Now, they just don’t care and have declared war against police officers-to see how many they can take out. Be sure to visit the Officer Down Memorial Pages if you can and say a prayer for the families affected, the fellow officers, and the many brave men and women who protect us every single day. Thank you! And, to Officer Rogers, God Speed!

May your garden grow boughs of peace!

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