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Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

Life isn’t going the way a lot of people want it to go right now. I’m sorry. I feel your pain.

 

We are upon the end of June and the US Supreme Court will announce decisions today and Monday for the final wrap-up for this session. One of the big decisions is for same sex marriage. Most people believe (some are scared) that SCOTUS will rule in favor of SSM. That may further exasperate your pain. I think they should rule in favor.

 

I don’t have to defend my beliefs. I’m entitled to have them. I am a grownup and want this for others which means that I’m not being selfish. I think marriage is sacred whether you are married in a church or not. I think it is a serious covenant and commitment. I believe it is for life and I don’t think it should be taken lightly. With that said, I do not advocate a difference of marriage for same sex couples compared to heterosexual couples. I think marriage is marriage and I believe in equality for all people. It’s none of my business what people do behind closed doors. I don’t want to know what you or your spouse or significant other do in your bedroom. It’s no one’s business.

 

I believe this decision was made before they even heard arguments. Writing decisions takes a bit more time. Each justice has to plead their case whether it is in support of the decision or in the dissension. Case law is cited including any precedents that have taken place. I wish everyone knew more about the decisions that have been decided through the years. I never really cared about it until last year and I have been reading more about various cases.

 

People believe that states have the right to govern themselves but there is a problem with that. States are deciding to go against the US Constitution in making laws and that is where problems lie. Certain people have rallied and railed that they will do everything in their power to go against SCOTUS should they rule in favor of SSM. I believe these open threats are tearing at our country. They are wrong. I remember a certain war that was fought on this land…our homeland. Rather than choose to do the right thing, the south chose to go to war and the results were disastrous. We are still fighting the effects of that war which began in 1861 and ended 150 years ago.

 

I look back and see where certain people tried to stop such a nasty war because they knew the consequences. They would rather concede than fight. Certain ministers will have you believe this is the end of the world and that you need to gird on your armor and fight. I say, it is better to reach out a hand than to reach for a sword. It takes a strong man/woman to carry a full set of armor into battle but I wager that it takes a bigger man/woman to lay down his weapons and find compromise.

 

Life is difficult but it does not have to be. The path is lit—the road is clear. We can choose to walk down the path together or we can choose to fight each other in battle but remember that once you pick up that sword of aggression, you need to be prepared to kill. I do not think it is an option or that it is acceptable. Do you? Really read what Jesus tells us in the Bible. The answers are there. All you have to do is look.

 

I may be wrong but I will venture to hope that the vote goes 6-3 in favor with (I hope again) Justice Roberts in support. That would mean a lot. No matter what happens, I give my support to people who are marginalized, disenfranchised, and discriminated against. I stand with them. They are my brothers and sisters and they matter just as we all matter. 🙂

 

Happy Friday! 🙂

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Joan Rivers used to say that and I would get a kick out of it every time.

 

 

But, seriously, can we talk?

 

For the past week or so I have been talking to people about race and how we can get along with others. I have heard some nasty things including that awful phrase that we should send Black Americans “back” to Africa. I don’t get that. You have to be some kind of sick person to think that way. Then yesterday when someone was really being mean, I said they shouldn’t be racist and someone else said the person wasn’t racist…I had a problem. I wondered if maybe they didn’t know what racism is. It turns out they knew they were being racist but they excuse themselves for it and say it is others who are racist. That is worse than not knowing better.

 

Let’s look at what racism means. Racism is when you generalize against a group of people in a derogatory way due to their race or color of skin. It can easily be avoided if we treat others as equals and the way we want to be treated. Simple, right? I think it is but no, it isn’t.

 

In this confrontation, I wasn’t treated nice at all and was called a hypocrite of all things. I don’t know why I expect people to act better. Maybe it is because these people call themselves Christians. They continued to wail about how their rights have been infringed on, yada, yada… I began to get sick.

 

In contrast,  here is a story that began to break my heart to think we are teaching racism to people…to our children. This little girl was told that black is ugly and that she couldn’t be Frozen’s Princess Elsa. How awful. Who would even think such a thing? Here is the story if you have not heard it…link…

 

This is a terrible thing but we are telling kids this all of the time. What is in your heart matters. What you teach children matters. How we treat others matters. This is important. Let’s make it right for all children.

 

Have a great Thursday! 🙂

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Someone told me today that we need to separate races meaning people of color or black people from what he considers white people…head-desk… I say it this way because we are not pure—we have been mixing races for so long. I asked how he proposed on doing that since so many of us are mixed blood and are not really white or black to start with. He began a tirade of how he believed white people were so much better than others and lots of other hateful bigotry remarks…head-desk… I can’t believe people are like this.

 

I don’t have hate for any race. I see us all as one. We are all humans, well the jury is still out for those who think like the guy above. We can choose to be racist or we can choose not to be and accept all people regardless of color. We are all the same. We really are.

 

I have a childhood friend who is white (actually, she is like me—mixed ancestry) but her grandchildren are mixed white and black–each one. She doesn’t see color either. 😉 We grew up in the south with a lot of racist people around but we aren’t racist. I wish people could be like that but even some of my friends are bigoted. It pains me to know I can only do so much but then again, slowly but surely my friends are either changing or they are not my friends anymore.

 

I hear people fighting to keep the confederate battle flag flying in their state—not just South Carolina. I have tried to get people to see things differently but they want to be bigots. They are proud of it too. Why? I sure don’t know. They are tied to a time that supported slavery. That’s not acceptable to me.

 

Something awful happened last week and it was the result of hatred. I can’t tell you how much there is. I have seen changes happen in my lifetime but I have also seen people hold onto their bigotry and they have let it fester inside. It has grown in some ways. I am deeply saddened by what they display because it not only gives us a bad name but it is ugly; NASTY; it is a monster that comes out in the form of what that guy did last week in Charleston.

 

This is not an isolated incident. Believe what you will, but there are people all over who believe like this guy. Some of them take to the internet every day and say awful things. Some talk about our president. Some of them link up on facebook. Some are secretive and some are not.

 

I don’t condone this type of feeling or action. There is no room for hatred and bigotry in this world. Sure, it is a free country. You can be just as big of a bigot as you want but don’t ask me to be your friend and don’t think you are going to get a free pass from me. I will let you know that I don’t support your hatred.

 

Removing the flag is just one of the many things that need to be done. Pride can be an awful thing and this is what has happened because we let pride get in our way. It is time to change…it is time to grow. Humble yourself and ask what can be done for others. Respect should always be given… 🙂

 

The people in Charleston should not have died and people who say racist things should know better–they should act better and treat others as they would like to be treated. We have failed in some ways because we have looked the other way when bigoted people make remarks–we have given them a free pass. No more.  

 

 

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Brené Brown as you may know is one of my biggest heroines. Her testimony of truth is rich, vital, and clearly a part of who she strives to be. She is a seeker. She does not accept life “as is” because she looks at the bigger picture, the gestalt.

I have linked to her videos a few times and I just cannot get enough because she is so relevant to the times we are witnessing. We are a broken society but we can choose to fix the wrongs we have inflicted on ourselves.

I want to share this blog post of hers…

Own our history. Change the story.  —  by Brené Brown

When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.

I know this is true. I may have learned it as a researcher but I live this truth as a daughter, a partner, a leader, a sister, a mother, and a friend. When we push down hurt or pretend that struggle doesn’t exist, the hurt and struggle own us.

I’ve learned that writing a brave new ending means:

  1. We can’t smooth over hurt feelings in our families. It’s too easy for stockpiled hurt to turn into rage, resentment, and isolation. We must talk about it. Even when we don’t want to. Even when we’re tired.
  2. We can’t pretend our family histories of addiction and mental health issues don’t exist if our hope is to write a new story and pass that legacy of emotional honesty and health down to our children.
  3. We must own our failures and mistakes so that we can learn and grow. It’s hard but I’ve seen how it becomes part of a family and organizational cultures and unleashes innovation and creativity. It doesn’t feel comfortable, but courage rarely does.

Owning our stories is standing in our truth. It’s critical and transformative in our personal and professional lives. It’s also critical in our community lives.

Until we find a way to own our collective stories around racism in this country, our history and the stories of pain will own us.

We will not get away from the violence and heartbreak. Fear and scarcity will continue to run roughshod over our country. Yes, the violence in Charleston is also about access to guns and, more than likely, mental illness. But it’s also about race.

Our collective stories of race in the US are not easy to own. …

continue reading — (link)

 

Can we make a difference? Yes… Happy Gardening! 🙂

 

 

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I don’t know how many people realize how obsessed with Ireland I am but sometimes I am more up to date on the news in Ireland than I am in the US. Do you know how big Ireland is? It’s about as half the size of the state of Georgia but is more dense population wise—has a few more people for the land mass. There are a lot of people in Georgia who have Irish ancestry…some are Catholics and others like me are Protestant but that’s the past.

 

The country of Ireland had a referendum put on the ballot last Friday that asked about same sex marriage. There has been much support for both sides. I knew there was a chance that the referendum would pass but I wasn’t sure. I wanted to know how the vote would go but no clear indication was given before I headed to bed that night nor when I got up the next morning but by lunchtime the votes had all been counted and as you know, the referendum passed. All voting districts passed it except for one—I cried… 🙂 My heart was filled with joy.

 

I knew there were people who wanted this to pass. It was a big thing because this was the first time that popular vote succeeded in passing SSM—Ireland was the first country to do this. I thought of people who would be affected not just those in the present but those of the future who would have the chance to marry who they wanted. I know everyone is not on board with this but what if you loved someone and wanted to marry them but you couldn’t because there was a law prohibiting such? What if this affected your children or descendants? When it becomes personal, I get it, I understand. Sure, I could sit in my chair and say—no way can these two people get married—but that’s not for me to decide.

 

I have heard all of the excuses and reasons why they shouldn’t get married but to be quite honest, I would rather a child be raised with two same sex parents who love the child without reservation because when they commit to raising children, they do it because they WANT children…not because a child came along by accident. That takes commitment—something a lot of couples today are not willing to give and two parents are usually better than one—not always but usually. I could go on and on. I have thought this out. I have considered as many situations as I could and then others have presented me with more…I don’t see a problem as long as two people are honest with each other and love each other—willing to make the commitment. The rest is none of my business and it’s none of yours either :).

 

We have such a terrible divorce rate and it has nothing to do with SSM. My opinion is to let people get married and begin to focus on giving help to those who need it. We have problems with society of offering respect, giving love, seeing others as equals. And, we have an issue of selfishness. Those are societal problems across the board and they need to be dealt with. I believe this is where our energies should be spent and not condemning people of this “abomination”—not my choice of words, just what I keep hearing.

 

I have been accused of promoting the gay agenda…and that’s far from the truth. I promote love and well-being, a family environment, completeness…unselfishness. I will not sit here and tell you there are no problems ahead because there will always be problems but I honestly rejoiced Saturday and wept like a child with happiness. My heart was filled with joy…not for me but for my fellow man and woman but also for my children’s children too. Imagine the possibility of raising children with absolutely no bigotry…that’s a nice thought.

 

People talk about abomination and how this will lead to the destruction of America. Truth be told, we have already destroyed America with our bitterness and hatred, bigotry and vile acts against good people. I believe we have turned the Bible into our own personal agenda and when we feel our rights have been violated then we choose to engage in our own vendetta. I am ashamed. We don’t get to yell that we are being persecuted because self-persecution does not count. Sorry, but I love this saying because it is so very true.

 

I’m going to go back to Bible times, back to Jesus…I imagine people waiting in lines to see Jesus…almost like children at the mall at Christmas waiting to see Santa. Close your eyes and think of the lines of people. Right before you get to personally visit Jesus, there is an offering plate … [no, sorry, Jesus would never do that… 🙂 ]  

 

Jesus wouldn’t make you pay to see him. They didn’t charge admission for the Sermon on the Mount. They didn’t even have food for the people… People flocked to him, to see him, to hear him, and to touch him. There was no requirement but today … I think there are those who would ask for payment to see the Almighty.

 

Despicable. If this is the case, what else are we doing wrong? I think Jesus’ sermons to the Pharisees are more relevant today that they were 2000 years ago. I think we are wrong about opposing same sex marriage. Even if your church opposes it, there are churches who will accept those who want to be married and they can join and be a part of the membership. Some churches even allow homosexuals into the clergy.  

 

Story… I have known homosexuals since high school. It weirded me out when I was younger but I didn’t hold it against them. It wasn’t my cup of tea. I have worked with them, had friends who were homosexuals, and I was taught not to accept them or their lifestyle by people in the church…I believed it was wrong to be homosexual. Hmmmm. That wasn’t right because it meant treating them unequal. Jesus would have never done that.

 

I have a friend in the church who has a homosexual family member and she was told to counsel them and tell them they were wrong (the ‘sin and repent, then you will be saved’ talk). She told me about it and said she wasn’t doing it because it was no one’s business but their own and if they wanted to go to church she would help them find a church that was accepting of them. 🙂 My faith is accepting but my church isn’t but they aren’t accepting of people of color or those of other faiths or even those with slightly different belief…very discriminatory. I haven’t attended in a few months due to my health and I’m not sure I will go back.

 

Some years ago my Mormon neighbors moved away—I was good friends with the lady and hated that they had to leave. Her children played with my girls and we were good friends—kindred spirits of sorts. They sold their house to two men. We didn’t know if they were gay at first but we had our suspicions. I never saw them being outwardly emotional together like holding hands or kissing but we knew. Then my grandmother died. They saw the hearse come for her body so they sent flowers and food. They also offered anything that I needed. They were so nice not just then but the entire time they lived here…always congenial—very nice people. I miss them.

 

So you see, we have the opportunity to treat others like we want to be treated. We cannot look at ourselves and think we are better. We cannot judge another human. We love people and the rest takes care of itself. I rejoiced last Saturday because instead of bigotry and hatred I saw the country of Ireland put their feelings aside for a bigger purpose. People may say they were forced to vote yes but I know that this is a big thing. We are a broken people and unless we embrace others, we will remain this way. We need to heal the brokenness and become whole. Be careful what you say to another. Be careful who you follow. Knowledge is extremely important. Don’t follow blindly and don’t jump on a wagon because everyone else is doing it. I may walk this path alone but I made my decision. I will not hate and will not accept bigotry in any form.

Irish Flag

Irish Flag

 

Celebrate the goodness of all people. Celebrate Ireland!!! 🙂

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When I was a little girl, I was a Brownie, part of the Girl Scouts and when my children were little, they were in Girl Scouts. I became a leader when my girls started school. I began as a troop leader, cookie mom, camp leader, and then went on to train Girl Scout leaders while still remaining a troop leader. I had to do several training sessions each year. It was fun working with girls and leaders, being cookie mom, all of it…I’m just a big child… 🙂

 

The idea behind Scouting is to teach the younger generation skills they need so they can become responsible and dedicated individuals so that they will mature into great leaders in their communities as adults. The organization is service related and it is a time for fun and learning. For me, it was a wonderful opportunity and it was loads of fun filled with lots of hard work.

 

Last week, the leader of the Boy Scouts of America said that it was time to allow gay scoutmasters to serve. I have listened to the outcry about it, how the BSA would go under and how churches will pull funding, etc. I am so angry. This is one of the things that is wrong with America. Something does not go your way and you become vehemently opposed to something so much that you are willing to destroy it. I cannot even use my usual we pronoun though I’m sure everyone who reads my blog does not cater to this idea of destroying the BSA if they allow gay scoutmasters–at least I hope not. The arrogance and hatred fill you so much that you are willing to sacrifice this one good thing to prove your point? No. It’s not right.

 

Shame on you if you feel this way. Out of all of the good that has come about because of Scouting, the only thing you can do is tear it down and destroy it. Shame on you or those who cannot accept people who may be different than you and again, this is only if you feel this way. Scouting and children have been a passion of mine for many years.

AND…

Shame on Franklin Graham for calling for his followers to support his stance against the BSA to the point of closing it down. I am ashamed to the bone. I can’t believe I read those words on his FB page…if you believe that Jesus wanted this, I do believe you are wrong. And to show you how loving Franklin Graham is on FB, this is a quote I copied and pasted and not from the comments but from one of his posts…[I actually could not believe I read this] 

 

“Can you believe these idiots?”

 

Now I ask you, would you read this in the Bible? Does God call his children IDIOTS? Does Jesus refer to people as IDIOTS? What happened to freewill and love and understanding? I will not follow someone who says this and spouts such bigotry and hatred and calls people IDIOTS…and this is clearly not what God called for. This is clearly not love and I am ashamed!

 

I am tired of the hate coming from people. I have been on a roller coaster lately…extremely up one minute and down the next. I was in the grocery store Friday night when I got a notice on FB from a college roommate. It made me chuckle so I texted her and we chatted for a while. It is nice to hear from someone who knows you from years ago and knows how you truly feel—that deep part of your soul.

 

She is a Christian by the way and I knew she supported gay marriage so I asked her how her friends deal with it. She said that some of them don’t. She said that sometimes she posts things and they unfriend her and she gave me examples. In our conversation she told me how she worked with individuals who had been diagnosed with AIDS in the early 1980s. Remember back to that time when we were just finding out about AIDS? There was so much fear. Well, she said the people she worked with were the nicest people she had ever met. That means a lot. 🙂

 

So you see, there is a human being behind all those hateful feelings you voice on the internet, on FB, on blogs, to your friends, to your neighbors, even people you don’t know…that hatred people keep talking about because of “these people who are going to hell due to an abomination” and you don’t approve.

 

Guess what…no one is seeking your approval. They don’t need it. Turn the shoe around and you are the one who is being talked about…the one who is shunned…how do you feel because people have ganged up against you and are saying you are going to hell? That angers me…that mob mentality. How can you do that to someone? And, then say it isn’t your choice but God’s? I don’t believe it and neither do other people who are seeing this play out in the public arena. When you hurt others, people notice.

 

My friend and I chatted some more. We talked about old times and recent times. I told her how I felt and that I couldn’t believe what I was hearing people say. We talked about what our world is facing right now with so many people being so uncompassionate. She told me that she knew I was progressive back in college—about 33 years ago in graduate school—I laughed. I didn’t think I was, but I guess it is true. I didn’t let things hold me back. I didn’t take no for an answer. I fought for those who were in need and if I saw a need that wasn’t being addressed–it didn’t matter what others thought–I didn’t stop to ask or was I concerned that I was doing the wrong thing–I would do whatever I could. I had passion. I was a leader. I spoke up and wasn’t afraid of the consequences. Later, when I had children, I became more conservative but my roommate reminded me that I was right—even way back then and she believes I am right now because Jesus was really the most liberal and most socialist individual there was…and guess what…

 

she is right.  He was and I think he still is. 🙂

 

I used to think this was supposed to be a Christian nation but it isn’t. When our ancestors came over…those of us who have European ancestors…they didn’t come because everyone believed in the same religion. Look how many religious groups there were…not all were Christian. When the founding fathers were drawing up our rule of law, they wanted it to be as fair and open-ended because they knew situations would arise they could not foresee. In fact, there is argument that many of the founding fathers were not faithful to one religion and no religion. They were not a fan of theocracy because that has led to many problems.

 

We don’t have to have a Christian nation because no religion should be supreme over any other religion and for those who do not believe, then that needs to be addressed too. How would you like it to have something pushed down your throat that you are not a fan of?

 

If you are as Christian as you say you are for those who claim Christianity, you will embrace others who believe differently. We are holding on too tight. We must let go. If you have faith, you need to learn to walk with faith. If you cannot let go, I encourage you to study the words of Jesus. If you will, study the words of other faiths too. There are volumes out there that tell us how we should love…it comes from the heart. If you really profess to be a Christian, then you know the words are there and we just need to let go of the hate.

 

I believe the monster is in each of us and until we are of reasonable mind and logical understanding so that we can embrace others, then we are lost because I truly believe that we are supposed to get along with each other and love one another with nothing standing in the way. And yes, I believe there is no one that is not good enough to eat at the table. All of us are good enough.

 

Support Scouting.  Support children.

 

By the way, the GSA has already crossed this hurdle… 😉

 

Think about what it means to be kind to others…be humble…put others before yourself.

Happy Gardening! 🙂

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This is a personal plea from my heart about our youth. I encountered something that no child or young adult should ever have to face but I know it is happening in social media around the world. Children and young adults are very impressionable…they are trying to find their way, their identity, where they fit in. Most of us go through this type of quest to some extent. We question life and our purpose. We want value—we need it. There have been many killings in America over the years…but look at what is happening now all across the globe—large numbers of people with ideological philosophies that are a tad different than mainstream are acting out–killing others. Sometimes it is radical religious beliefs that pose such a problem. Sometimes it is subtle—sometimes not.

 

I’m sure you have seen the news where young girls (and some young guys) have left the US to join forces, so to speak, with those who call themselves something like ISIS. Before I go any further, the Muslims I know are not of this type. They are peaceful. They want to live in this world with others. They desire harmony. The ones I know don’t push their beliefs on others. They are respectable people wanting respect in return. The ones I speak of are not radicals. They want what all of us want…well, unless you want war against everyone because others believe differently—it is a two-way street you know. 🙂 

 

Let me break here and say after 9/11, America changed…the world changed…but peace should always be what we strive for. People will always want to accelerate things into hate and war but peace is something…the only thing that we should all hold dear even if we never agree about anything else. We have whackos on TV and online who have gone absolutely bananas about things. There are people who are spouting crazy stuff all in the name of God. There are people who criticize the president of the United States when he mentioned the Crusades but do you really know what the Crusades were about? You can say that they were peaceful and knights were needed for protection for people making their pilgrimage to Jerusalem but you would be wrong just like there are those who say that the US Civil War was nothing but about states’ rights and not about slavery. Don’t deceive yourself. Don’t look at things from only one angle.

 

Families are being torn apart by this aggression and this is not an “us versus them” type of thing. There was a young girl from a neighboring state who left her family telling them she was going to Atlanta for something but in reality, she was leaving the states to join a radical band of individuals overseas. She got involved with the wrong people. Her family are now suffering from a barrage of hate speech (and other things) while attempting to come to grips with losing a daughter though she is still alive. Can you imagine going through such grief…everything seems fine one minute and then your world has turned to hell in another?

 

People question how this is happening. I can tell you how with an example. These young people are involved with social media and think nothing of friending people from around the world. It happens when we find others that share similar tastes and interests. All in all, it’s not bad…well until you are contacted by someone who wants you to be sympathetic to their “cause.” I have been contacted by one such individual. The person left me a message on FB. 

 

I didn’t think twice about it at first. I didn’t respond and then I checked his page out. Not good. I was shocked! I never in a million years would think that this was the real deal. I never considered myself to be a target to join such a group but it is real. This type of thing is happening through things such as FB and twitter to name two but there are other forms of social media being used. 

 

Unsuspecting people who use the internet are being preyed upon, vetted and groomed to join these radicals in their fight. Right now, it is radical religious fundamentalism in Syria and such places. This is real—as real as it gets. This is not a dream or something that happens far away. This is happening here and now. We cannot become paranoid or overly defensive but we must arm ourselves with awareness–our best armor in any good defense.

 

I am more angry than anything. If this happens to me (of all people), you can bet it is happening to more people. You cannot follow blindly. You must be aware of what is around you. In self-defense, awareness is one of the first things you are taught. You don’t put yourself in danger and you protect those you love.

 

The story about the young girl is a very sad one. Parents have invested so much in their children—love, time, money. The dad in this case came to the states to avoid what was happening in his country now. He wanted a better life for his family and now he has lost a daughter and many in the country he sought as a refuge (US) have turned against him saying he is to blame. Senseless hate—not that hate ever makes any sense.

 

Get involved with those who you love. Make them feel wanted and appreciated. And, remember not to judge others. 🙂 Don’t hate and don’t separate.

Happy Gardening! 🙂

 

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