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Posts Tagged ‘fidelity’

Love is very powerful and so is this song. I wish all marriages would end in “..happily ever after,” but a perfect ending isn’t what it is about. Get out and dance. Love that special someone and never put yourself in situations where you must say, “I am sorry.”

Living in happiness is much better than ending there.

Personal:  I’m still alive. I hope to be back soon. 

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 ~ ~  😀  ~ ~

I love the words!

Blessings… 😀

 

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I write about love, friends and family, romance and such because these things are important to me. Family is essential but so is your mate. People have wondered if I would be able to withstand some of the things that have come my way lately—sometimes I do too 🙂 but the following is about the women in my family.

  • My paternal grandmother died at 60 years of age. She had been divorced from when she was about 34 years of age—never remarried. She loved my granddaddy until the day she died but when they were married, he liked going out carousing and drinking a bit too much.
  • My maternal grandmother also was divorced but not until she was about 54 years of age. He ran off with a woman, yada, yada… I know how that goes (eye roll). She lived to be 88 years of age and never remarried. 
  • My mother died at 60 years of age and was widowed when she was 48. She never remarried.
  • Then there was my great-grandmother on my mom’s side. I remember her quite well. She died at 84 but was widowed at 39. She also did not remarry.
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My mom, me, maternal g-ma and her mother. As usual, there is a story 😀 .

These women withstood all types of hardships and heartache, and they made huge sacrifices. They were strong. They never remarried and I am told they never fell in love or had a relationship with another man again. Very sad but romance isn’t everything. When I was young I wanted to be just like my maternal grandmother – the part where she was strong and independent. I later learned she was vengeful toward all men and I did not want any part of that. I still try to be strong and independent but I don’t want to lose the hope of falling in love again. 😀 The odds are not on my side. Someone said the other day I was too old–what? Hmm… I guess maybe that could be true but I don’t like it when people tell me I can’t do something.

 

Each woman had problems along the way and had very little help to get through. As for both of my grandmothers…what do I say? The girls and I are all there is to keep their legacy going. It is really tough being an only child of two only children but as women of my family on both sides of the tree, we are strong and we keep going. 🙂 

Happy Gardening! 😀

Happy Birthday, MOM! 😀

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Once upon a time there was a girl who had a dream not unlike a fairytale. She believed in love, love…a romantic type, a fulfilling love, a love where two people saw only each other and no one else. Fairytale? Maybe.

 

She was special, had a heart of gold…a little feisty and a little rough around the edges…but very romantic. She believed in the goodness of all people and wanted happiness not just for herself but for everyone. As she grew she became more adulterated in the world around her…losing her innocence and that pureness of love. She was hurt a few times—more than she should have been. She hated to hurt someone else and would sacrifice her feelings for those of others many times. Sometimes she was accused of being selfish but often these words were meant to hurt and they did.

 

She lived a life full of dreams cherishing the memories while keeping her feet on the ground. Then her world was shattered, her heart not only broken but trampled on and all but destroyed. She didn’t deserve it. She did everything she could to salvage what was left, caring more about others—more than herself. She tried to find meaning in life…where she went wrong…why this happened. As she searched she found more questions than answers and not really loneliness but more of a type of longingness. Her heart desired to be with another but she wondered if she could be satisfied after being hurt so much. The heart…it can heal but it will have scars.

 

This girl began to wonder if she knew anything at all. Was it time to erase everything and start again? Was there such a thing as true love, romance…? Maybe she was not meant to find love. Perhaps that wasn’t meant for her. Her soul, her heart, her body, all of her being desired to love again…to love fully with no reservation and to be loved. She wanted to take a chance. She wanted to risk it all but she was scared. She knew what love felt like but would she ever feel it again? 😐

 

🙂 Some of my writings.

May your day be so greatly blessed! Happy Gardening! 😀

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Relationships–they are what we make them just like the respect we have for one another. If we choose not to have respect and not invest, we get nothing out of them and they are like paper plates, but if we take special care, time, and treat others with the utmost respect, our relationships become as Fine China, precious, valuable, and worth more than all of the riches of the world.

The following writing has a very special place in my heart. It was originally posted on Dec 1, 2010, on my main blog and re-posted the week after my husband told me about his affair and baby in Jan 2012. I had no idea at the time of this writing the significance it would bring. We all have problems along the way, but how we work together demonstrates how well we can rise above them. Treasuring one another is so important and vital to good marriage. Do you treat your partner like Fine China or a Paper Plate? (original posted Dec 1, 2010)    This posting appears here with permission.

 

“Let me state that I am not a believer in non-monogamous relationships. I believe that we as humans can rise above our animalistic behaviors if we commit to our spouse (or significant other) and focus on our own behavior. Today, I want to write about marriage. People get married for several reasons, but too often I hear about one or both of the spouses “straying away” for even more reasons. Some of those are, “I was at a point of weakness…”; “This woman just turned me on and I lost all control…”; “It started as an innocent friendship…”; “My spouse has lost interest in sex…”; “He does not love me anymore…”; and on and on and on. Sure, we all have those times of temptations, but we should be able to get through them without entering into a sexual relationship with someone other than our spouse……

…Continued at Protect Your Heart (link).

This post is one of my very favorites and was the catalyst for the book that was written 1.5 years later.

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As I was sent on my way to first grade my parents said, “Get a spanking at school and there will be one waiting for you when you get home.” I didn’t try to find out how true that was but knowing my parents there would not be just one but two

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spankings waiting for me. We didn’t have a woodshed; we didn’t even have a fireplace until I was 14 😀 , but that would NOT deter my parents. Many parents in the area were the same as mine. You know that phrase, “Spare the rod, spoil the child?” That sentiment was emblazoned on a wood plaque in many a home. We were raised to respect people and property—well, most of us.

 

IN THE NEWS — Another cemetery was vandalized in Alabama last week. I saw the headline and checked to see if it was one I knew. It wasn’t but there was a particular cemetery near where my mother grew up dating back to a battle during the War of 1812. It had been vandalized several times (not the only cemetery but this has become a type of recreation 😦 ). An ancestor that settled this area had a brother killed and is buried at the one from 1812 . The cemetery was moved at least twice, the first was to make way for a lake then it was moved again to make way for a subdivision. People do not have respect for others. It is a shame. It was suspected that teenagers were hanging out in the area drinking when they spray-painted some of the stones and then went back and broke them not once, not even twice, but several times. It was a sad scene. 

 

I guess you have seen about the Petraeus scandal. I have been trying to avoid as much news as possible but that has not escaped my eyes. At the risk of sounding crass, “Guys, what is it that causes this?” Are you really willing to throw everything away? Women do it, too, but what has happened to respect, respect for others, respect for property, respect for oneself and just pure respect? Where are the boundary lines? You can make anything exciting if you want to and it doesn’t have to be with someone ELSE’s spouse or without your spouse. I’m still trying to get over Mark Sanford and a few others who were out living it up while their wife was performing some super woman feat—one was giving birth to their child. And, let us not forget John Edwards… I can’t even write those words. Men who leave their wives when their wives have health issues… I told my husband that I would so like to take him out to the woodshed, or get someone else to… Well, you get the picture.

 

I urge us all to know where our boundaries are and if not, learn them. See them and cherish what we have. As for the tombstones…I think this is worse than a crime of vandalism. It is a crime against home and sanctuary—it was their place of rest. When we dumb-down the crime by making it less sensational, we do a disservice to us and all of the people that pass after us. And, infidelity… You wouldn’t want to be treated with such lack of respect so treat others better than you would want to be treated…PLEASE. Thank you!

 

By the way, I never got a spanking all through school–not from the teachers but I did get in trouble one time…I would rather have had a spanking… 🙂 …I would rather have had three. Be good to others and cherish your spouse! Happy Gardening! 😀

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If my parents were alive today they would be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. They were married in a little church in Alabama in 1952.

 

My parents as they exited the church.

 

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

 

And, Happy Gardening to everyone else!

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Matthew 19:

  • They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)

 

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL

“My, what a beautiful wife you have. Have you told her how much she really means to you? Have you kissed her today and said I love you—and really meant it? Have you thanked God that He has brought you two together?”

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I am here to tell you not to take anything for granted! Enjoy every second of every day and make the most out of it. Show your wife that she means more to you than everything else—not just anything else. Keep her with you in your heart and mind at all times. And, when you forget, tell her how much you love her and return her to her rightful place—the heart. It is what matters.

 

God comes first or should come first in all marriages. I am speaking of the present and will address the past in a minute. God is foremost but your wife is second. No one else can come before her—no one and no thing. And, nothing is equal to your wife. You are a couple in God’s love, bound by a covenant with Him, but she is first in your world just as you are first in her world. That bond between husband and wife is sacred before God. Do not forget it and do not break it. If you did not say your vows before God, you can still do so every single morning and every single night. You might want to renew your vows before God in public. Just be serious about it. What is in your heart matters more than anything. Guard your heart with your life. Your wife is in there. Do everything to keep her safe.

[Protected Content—The preceding is an excerpt from my book.]

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Love is more than what is in the physical sense or what we can see with our eyes. Love is more than sensual urges. Love is caring and compassion. Love is giving. Love is protecting and showing empathy through sorrow and gladness. Love is being there when things look the bleakest, and marriage is the thread that ties all of these together.

 

The vows of marriage are truly sacred and yoke us one to the other. Spouses have an incredible responsibility for themselves and one another. We should never take things lightly or for granted. We should be thankful for each day and our spouse–accepting of this wonderful gift that it is. Show your spouse how much you care, and please, please protect your heart. Your spouse is in there.

 

Happy Gardening in all of your gardens and may they be forever beautiful! 🙂

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During one of my recent nights where I awoke because I could not sleep, I began to write. For the past few months I have been attempting to write a book or something about my trials, my experiences, something that I felt needed to be said, but I could not get very far. I think I have started more times than I can count. I was in hopes that I could write about how there is hope for my marriage to survive an adulterous affair because I believed that we could make things right. As most of you know, there was more to it than just putting the pieces back together. I wanted it to be a book of hope but as time passed, I began to lose hope not only in my marriage but in myself. To be honest, a lot of my hopes have been dashed–obliterated. Maybe this is the point I had to get to understand.

This mini book is written for men, but what man would read a book written by a woman on the subject of marriage? I have no clue. I am not an author—I wish—and I cannot take full credit for this book. I had help, the divine kind. I have no idea what I will do with this but it is the best thing that was ever written using my hands. As I said before, I cannot take all of the credit. I am thinking about self-publishing but again, who will read it? On the other hand, if one person reads it and it helps them, then it would be worth everything. Any suggestions?

I think married men and those who want to be married someday should read it. It is not everyone’s cup of tea but it is how I see things. The

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central theme is about how important it is to appreciate your life but especially your wife, to show her love and adoration, to carry that love in your heart, and to protect it at all costs. It bears a good chunk of my soul and mentions things from my past (dark blemishes and stains are included) that I had hoped I would take to my grave. I chose to include them because it tells of my personal trials with myself before my marriage to my current husband.

There is to be good to come out of my devastation. I believe this mini book is one of those good things. As for my hope and my marriage, I don’t know. I have done everything I could. Not only did the news of the affair devastate my life but this thing we have been doing lately has all but destroyed it. I continue to have more health issues. It has been a bad week and I’m not sure that my broken heart hasn’t contributed to my ordeal. I have to build hope. In the meantime, I have a book written about not allowing hope to die. Did I have to lose hope to get to this place?

May your life be blessed more abundantly than you can ever imagine.

Happy Gardening—always!

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  • Father’s Day is coming up, and as we approach the big day I think there are a few things we should consider …

Mothers have this uncanny ability not only to give birth and nurture their babies, but to care for them and protect them, teach them, and even play with them as they grow. They care for every need and learn to anticipate what comes next. Most moms do this because they are saddled with that responsibility but it is more to it than just giving birth. Most women have that natural caring instinct and it means many a time that we go without so that our children will have what they need—sometimes the very basics of needs and not wants. This is where selfless love begins. So many fathers on the other hand must learn what  SELF-LESS love means. Some never learn it. And, in this day of so many broken and rethreaded families, fathers have a hard time learning their role in life—but that is no excuse.

Almost any man can father a baby but it takes a special man to be a true father–a dad. And, that means more than providing money so that can happen. Fathers are yoked with the responsibility of caring for their children, protecting them, educating them, and so much more. Just like Mom, a father has to personally invest of himself—give of himself to be a good dad. But, many men are selfish—too many men—sorry (no, not really). Not all men are that way but I am afraid it is becoming the norm.

My DAD

Many men/guys/boys become fathers because they were selfish to begin with, wanting self-gratification, trying to satisfy a feeling, need or urge, and it isn’t the need to give love in the fullest of meanings. It is physical. There are some great fathers out there. Don’t get me wrong. I know. I had one. Even my husband was one (and with time, hopefully he will be again). My dad’s only drawback was that my mom felt that he loved me more than her. I don’t think he did, but too often I came before her or it appeared that way.

Don’t let your wives feel that you love your child(ren) more than her. You are there to give her love. When that bond is right—strong—then you become good parents, possibly great parents. When that bond is weak, you can be really lousy parents and you can’t be a great father if you haven’t been a great husband. I know there are those who will take issue with this, but it is not all about one over the other. It is about how we do things together.

So, as we approach Father’s Day, I would like to say that if you want to be a good father, then do everything you can to be the best father and that’s not tempting your children with material things. To be the best father, you need to love your child’s mother beyond yourself first. Show her love—that means tenderness, caring, romance! And, this does not pertain to that relationship with the woman young enough to be your child who you have fathered a child with–outside of your marriage.

When the marriage bond of love is strong, the fatherly bond becomes strong because it is all about giving—it is not about what we get. You must give love to receive love or at least I see it this way because we cannot just receive and not give. I wish we would learn this simple fact. Many men do not understand this and believe their “obligation” to the wife is only physical love, if you know what I mean. When your marriage bond is satisfied fully, you can love your children the way they should be loved and looked after. This is one of the mysteries of life or actually, one of the facts of life.

To be quite honest, we don’t need any more fathers in this world—fathers outside of marriage in particular. We need more husbands who know how to be fathers. It is all about selfLESSness and not selfishness. It is all about love. Happy Father’s Day! May we all strive to be better parents and never expect to be worshipped for what is our duty to begin with. Some harsh words but someone needs to be saying them!

Happy Gardening in all aspects of your life!

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