Posts Tagged ‘self-respect’

Are we teaching people how to love or how to hate?

There is a lot I want to say about that sexual dance we do in life—finding the partner we want to be with—the one who we want to spend the rest of our days with. By the way, I am working on the scary parts of my closet and I will have to open up about that as time goes along but what if we taught young ones to love others? Would they be so apt to take advantage of another?


People hook up for physical intimacy, if I can call it that, without much regard to the person—it’s mostly gratification of oneself. Relationships–or good ones–are not usually fostered through this type of behavior. It is easy to ‘want’ in this scenario—rather than give. Love, on the other hand, involves giving…of one’s time for one thing. We risk intimacy—more than just being physically close, and then there is compassion, etc. Even friends can be physically close in this sense of caring for one another. When guys or girls hook up with anyone—just to get their rocks off—there is more than just risky behavior in jeopardy. This only reinforces this behavior.


We are humans. That means we still have animal instincts but a human brain that should control our thoughts and selfish desires. We can teach ourselves how to react in certain situations—what is appropriate and what isn’t but we want the freedom to do as we please. That freedom comes with a cost. Selfish desires in my own marriage—not my desires—brought a child into the world. That child has been spoiled rotten and does not know the meaning of the word ‘NO.’ His mother is basically not a big part of the child’s life and the child’s father isn’t a part of my children’s lives any more—all because someone(s?) wanted to build a fantasy world that didn’t exist. How unfair it has been to everyone involved.


LOVEI’m sorry but I don’t see us teaching people how to be loving adults—romantically or just compassionately. People want what they think they deserve. It’s not all guys—girls too. This is why marriages are failing—because we don’t know how to put others before ourselves. We don’t know how to compromise. We see ourselves as deserving of pleasure and sometimes no matter what the cost. We want…


Kids are learning to use others earlier…trust is broken easier…friendships are not really good relationships, etc. We don’t know how to teach ourselves self-discipline and why should we? We need to. We need to learn what no means and we need to respect others. We need to teach others how to love. Have we forgotten what love means?


Take care of yourself…and be good to others.

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I was a shy child—sometimes people try to see me as shy. My daughters don’t believe I ever was. Deep down I am shy but I am also resilient and push myself. I have a lot of self-control—or used to 🙂 –I would make myself overcome things that crossed my path.


One Friday night I was doing my usual working the floor at the restaurant (Friday nights were our busiest) which meant, I was in charge of everything—a great power trip—well, until someone comes running out of the restroom to tell me the men’s toilet was clogged. I was the best handy-man around so I head straight to the back and get some plastic bags and such—knock on the door and head in to find water spilling over the side of the toilet. I had to do that terrible thing of reaching into the toilet and I didn’t shy away from it. I knew I had to clean up and get back taking care of customers. I did my part and got an employee to finish up.


To get to this point, somewhere along the way I became less shy. It was a power trip being able to do so much and think fast on my feet. It was constant and I enjoyed it immensely. I didn’t like the politics but I loved the rush that work gave me. Toilets…not so much 😀 .


I am in unfamiliar territory. Hiding because a person has taken something away from me is tearing me apart. I will see a counselor today (Monday) about what happened to me years ago. I get to relive that night again and that to me is so very scary. I had someone tell me that I should be over it since it was so long ago but this is a lot like grief. If it isn’t handled correctly, then there is this part of me that cries out. I can’t believe it has taken me this long to put it together. I guess it was because I acted like it didn’t happen.


If you have ever been taken advantage of against your will and you had to fight your attacker, you want to have that peace of mind again. You want to take back what was stolen—or I do anyway. I want the person to never have that control over me again—no control. I want to be able to walk away so I can have peace of mind. This is why I had such a difficult time with my to-be-ex-husband. I was fighting for control and he kept taking everything I worked so hard for in an instant. I practiced—going through the various scenarios and then he would swoop in and in a matter of moments I was in tears. It is terrifying to think I may never reach the point I need to be to have that control.


Some people have judged me harshly and that is not fair but what I need is to learn how to deal with that. I feel that I am attacked in some ways. I need my voice again and to be able to stand up to those who try to take things away. I am not that shy child anymore but I have been abused and I didn’t help things by sweeping them under the rug.


So, today begins a new day and hopefully I can learn to stand again and feel good about myself. It isn’t easy. I would much rather face grief or even a clogged toilet but I have to do this. There comes a time where the evil from that night long ago has to find its way to the light of day. I am apprehensive but I am hopeful. 🙂



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This is not an easy post for me but I feel compelled to discuss this as it is a problem in society–one that can be made right if we could all work together. I am having some issues with this as I didn’t reach out for help years ago and should have. I thought I could handle it.

I look at the calendar and I see 2014, a date in modern times, but I don’t see equality like there should be. Why is that? Basically, we are different but it comes down to what we perceive and what we are taught. Outside we look different but inside we are all the same.


I am a female. I’m pretty sure that is obvious. 🙂 I have endured people shouting obscenities at me as well as being whistled at. Guys yelling at me is one thing. I either ignore it or say something quirky just because that’s who I am. We learn to deal with what people say to us at a young age but it doesn’t make it right.


Other things… Twenty-five years ago, I was raped and some years before I was almost raped. I didn’t ask for it but I have heard guys say that women deserve what they get. I have been taken advantage of sexually and I could not do a dang thing about it but what bothers me is that we raise our children to be aggressors. We turn our heads when people talk derogatively of women. Why is that? I have seen and heard men say some awful things to me and to others. It is not ok. And, it isn’t ok for women to do the same to men. Everyone deserves respect—you do—I do—we all deserve respect and we need to learn how to respect others.


We can condition ourselves to behave in a way that treats people in a fair way by not taking advantage. I was told I was to blame for those incidents above. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time for the first one. That was back in college when I first went off to school. It wasn’t someone I knew. I was able to get away but it hurt me because I lost something—my presence of mind and peace—I lost trust in others. After that, I tried to be aware of people and didn’t get so close. I wouldn’t let my guard down.


Many years later I was raped by someone I was dating—someone I trusted and loved. I tried to fight him off but it was too late by the time I realized what was really happening and could not get the upper hand. I cried—I remember that memory so well–tears pouring down my cheeks—he hurt me. He told me later that he thought I meant yes all the times I was screaming no. Why? I felt stupid that I let myself be taken advantage of. I swore that no one would do that to me and I felt that I let it happen. I didn’t tell anyone until years later. There is more to this story and the shame I have lived with. I buried it for a long time and never sought therapy because I thought I could deal with it but like a thorn, it festered away.


I want a world where we don’t rape other people and a place where no means no. I want a world that has love and respect in it and I want to be a part of that. I am tired of seeing people who think they know what love is but yet they have no clue because love isn’t finding gratification when one wants it. It isn’t selfishness. It isn’t getting what one wants without giving. Love is giving and what you get in return is love received. I feel unloved and undeserving and I shouldn’t. Deep down I know I have value but I am having an awful time right now. I have tried to find meaning and purpose in life and I know deep down there is something or there should be for me to build on. I’m tired of feeling like a victim but it keeps happening over and over…things beyond my control and that is what I have fought to get back—is control over my life.


It is important to me that children, especially girls, grow up understanding that equal means equal and this will not happen until all men support women and women support those men so that all men can grow to be upstanding men understanding what no means and what equal means. There has been improvement in many areas but there is so much more and we (humanity) are losing. If you don’t believe me, take a trip through the internet if you dare but be warned–it isn’t pretty. Visit some of the dark corners where it is acceptable and actually approved (and even encouraged) to degrade women. This is not a good thing. When you have gang type behavior—it is never a good thing.


I am not sure how to make things better but I know if guys stood up to other guys, then the behavior would not be acceptable anymore. When women speak up, they are called feminists and are hated. What have we become—less human? We are all in this world together and we need to learn how to live together. We need to learn how to respect each other. It doesn’t just happen. We must condition ourselves to respect others.

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Simon and my (his now) TY baby

Simon and my (his now) TY baby


This is my buddy. Both daughters are gone and the eldest one cannot have Simon live with her right now so he is still with me. He has been clawing the furniture a little too much but he is basically a good cat and sometimes he will sleep with me–nice when it is cold. He keeps me company and I try to play with him but we are running out of “meeces” toys. Note:  I have one cat so please don’t call me the cat lady just yet.


My blog is about to take a turn of sorts and I apologize if there are details that might cause one to turn away. I have delayed my other blog a bit because this is nagging at me something awful. I have mentioned this topic before but barely–definitely not in so much detail.


Sometimes things need to be said. 🙂 I do not know why this keeps coming up but I must deal with it. Have a great day/night and try not to judge me too harshly. 😉

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In the words of my daughter…

Mom, I didn’t know you liked sports so much let alone football. You were never that way when we were growing up.

It’s true. My first husband was so into pro ball that I quit watching a lot of sports BUT… I love college football and began watching while in middle school on Saturday afternoons with my dad. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know everything there is to know about football but I pay attention to what happens both on and off the field. So why am I writing about football? LOL 😀


UGA (Georgia) has had its ups and downs over the years. We used to refer to the team as the come-back dogs or dawgs—I still do—but when I watched the first game this year, my jaw just hung open to see Gurley (Todd) control the ball. They were not the comeback dogs—they dominated the game that day against Clemson—a rival (stories that I could tell). The game was like a one-man show. I was hoping they could all learn to play as a team. I thought to myself—could these be the days of Herschel? Could Georgia be national champs? A smile came to my face and my eyes began to dance. 😀


Long years ago, the team could be losing at half-time and when they came back on the field, they were transformed into a different entity. Maybe they became zombified—lol. In fact, I don’t know whether it was Dooley or Russell who had such an impact at halftime but it made for some great games. I hate that it was like that—too much suspense at times. It has been that way under Mark Richt, too.


When Hershel (Walker for those of you who may not know who I am referring to) came on the team, things changed—to an extent. There was a new dynamic. My best friend (undergrad) went to high school with Walker so I knew about him before he got to Georgia. He is a couple of years younger. I would see him around campus at UGA. He was a down to earth kind of guy but he seemed immortal at times. He was nice. It seems so strange to remember—so unreal—surreal.


I got to Athens the year after they became national champs (1980). Now some may say they did not achieve that goal but this is my blog and I can write about that another time. Georgia has been known to be an underdog (dawg) team but people love to hate them for some reason. And, that’s what my post is about. I have my own dislikes of some things with Georgia—UGA football—mostly the boosters who believe no one is any better even when they are and think money can buy anything—another topic for another day. But, I am always a dog (dawg) fan mainly because of my dad graduating from Georgia and the bond we had way back when. Oh, and then my time at Georgia of course.


This season was shaping up nicely if they could only play as a team. I tend to read people. When the camera is on the athletes while on the sidelines, I read them. I can usually tell if the person is genuine in their actions and more specific—their inactions. I mention this because I noticed a few things I didn’t like. It’s tough to have a superstar on the team. It creates friction. Remembering back to Herschel’s time…he thought about going pro before graduation and there were people pushing him to leave Georgia and do just that. I was pulling for him to stay. It was a powerful time back in the day. Games were awesome to go to. I’m going to tell you that I believe education should come first and then extracurricular activities like football. Nothing can take away your education but you can lose the opportunities football gives you in the blink of an eye. An injury can come along just like when they found one of the players on the roster this year had some problems and was removed from playing for fear of permanent injury or death.


News of Gurley’s suspension hit hard last week. To me, Georgia has rivals and then there are RIVALS. Auburn and Georgia Tech are probably the biggest two RIVALS. I would add Clemson to the mix and the Florida Gators of course. It is so bad between the Gators and the Dawgs that Florida doesn’t come go to Athens anymore. They tried to have the teams play in Athens and the town regretted it…again.


All of the SEC East and West teams are rivals but…of all the teams Georgia was playing this season, the team to beat should have been decided with the game against Auburn. Hold that thought. Georgia lost to Carolina and shouldn’t have but those are the breaks. I like to watch the teams mature along the way as the season progresses and figured if Georgia had so much at the beginning, just imagine what they could do toward the end of the season when the SEC games really count.


As soon as the news about Gurley broke, everyone said it was all over and said Georgia would lose last Saturday against Missouri. Guess what. They won…34-0. I was shocked but not totally. Missouri didn’t even score and the UGA team looked and played like a team—a real team. 🙂 That’s what happens when you remove the superstar iff (if and only if) the team has been practicing and knows what to expect. I saw a team determined on Saturday—one that was there to make their mark and that they did. Much attention has been given to Gurley but one person who really stepped up to the plate was the quarterback, Hutson Mason. He has come a long way and hopefully will be able to keep going. Georgia has not played perfectly this season but they have some real talent when used together. Mark Richt is no Vince Dooley and this team isn’t the come-back dawgs. 🙂


As fate would have it, Auburn lost Saturday to none other than Mississippi State—wow, what a team. I am amazed at what Mississippi State can do. I kept expecting the Tigers to come back but they didn’t. I wanted a National Championship this year for Georgia. I thought they could achieve it but I watched them give that game away to Carolina. I don’t think they are as good as Mississippi State or Ole Miss probably but that’s my opinion. I think they are better than Alabama but I don’t know about Florida State and then there is Auburn… 🙂


Now it’s time to talk football. The Georgia-Auburn game will be played in Athens…Georgia 😀 . Can Georgia win? I don’t know. It was a game I thought of getting tickets for but wow—out of my price range. Parking would have cost more than the tickets. Georgia can win if they want to and have players healthy enough to play. This is the game I have been waiting for. It is a month away and there are a few others before the team gets back to Athens to play the Tigers. It can be a long road.


The only thing I have heard in the news is about how Gurley needs to be back on the team. I want to say something about that. NCAA rules are there for a reason. If you break those rules whether you are a school or a player or whatever, it will reflect badly on the school as well as the player and team. Integrity is something that should come first because if we don’t have integrity, what good is it to play football in the first place? I’m very serious about that. I can sit here and point fingers but that’s not what football is about.


The Bulldogs may not win another game the rest of the season and that’s ok because in my book they have proved that they are a team no matter what some crazy sports person writes—I’m looking at a certain blogger at ESPN. And, that’s good enough for me. I had reconciled that if Georgia had beat Carolina I would put those dang crappy looking flags on my Jeep. My children asked if I was crazy. I said if they won, I was going to do it and keep them there until the end of the season. They lost but I’m still pulling for my Bulldogs—(Dawgs) 😀 .


Here is a fun fact if you don’t know…

Herschel was #34 and played as a running back. Who was his match from Auburn? They had the same number—played the same position—were the same height and born the same year… 😀 Those were good times. (Answer is below…)


And, if by chance you were watching the game last week you may have a noticed a guy named Brendan Douglas who scored a touchdown by flipping over Missouri’s player…just watch the video…it was good. 😀



Answer to the Herschel question.

Go Dawgs 😀

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Yesterday I posted about how our behavior matters and that in the end our behavior will echo what is in our hearts. I had no idea where this would lead but today was a bad day in many ways. Earlier this year when all of the trees were falling because of the ice storm and I could not even get out of my house…other people in the neighborhood offered help and such. The people I have lived alongside for so long—I remember when they moved in and all of the things I have done over the years…didn’t matter…they refused to help even refusing to give a phone number for a tree guy when I asked. Hard to believe someone can be so selfish but not only that but they called code enforcement this week. The guy came today to tell me my backyard had weeds that were too tall. Nevermind the front yard that I am so ashamed of. It seems that they were coming because a complaint was given—not because of the actual weeds themselves—head/desk—head/desk—head/desk.


My neighbors couldn’t walk a few feet and say something or even say something when we pass each other. This really is eating at me. I wouldn’t do something like this. I would go over and offer to cut someone’s yard or offer to help them do it but I am the one who needs the help this time and it is ok to kick someone when they are down, right? I mean afterall, it’s just neighbors. I don’t count. What I have done for them doesn’t count either evidently. I’m really disheartened. They have pushed me over the edge. The husband stood there that day when I asked about borrowing a chainsaw and in his smugness just asked if I had ever used one. Stupid man—sorry.


Oh course I have used a chainsaw and one a lot bigger than he owns but I was not asking for me to use it but for my ex to use it. I don’t get it. Wouldn’t you want to help someone if they were in trouble? Or, am I the only one who wants to help others? Are we that detached from humanity? I remember when everyone else was trying to get their claims in and he wasn’t worried about it—he waited and was upset because it took too long. That’s what happens when you wait. Is it really that hard?


In the past, the wife has pleaded with me to not call animal control over loose dogs in the neighborhood. I don’t wish any animal bad things but I don’t want an animal to be hurt or to be put down because it is accused of biting someone either. She called me one Sunday night wanting me to call Comcast to complain because Desperate Housewives was not coming in clear enough for her. Good gosh! I told her I don’t watch it and that I was sorry. I was nice and apologetic. She wanted me to wait for a computer to be delivered…I put off some things so I could wait for her computer to be delivered to my address—several days of this. She failed to tell me that she stopped the delivery because it was going to take too many weeks. These are just a few of the crazy things and that doesn’t include my feeding the dogs and stuff…or watching out for things. Nothing is good enough for her nor her husband. They don’t have children so they are very selfish. Karma…I’m waiting for Karma 😀 .


Anyway, it goes to show that our actions speak louder than our words and our behavior echoes what is really in our heart. My heart hurts tonight because neighbors are supposed to be nice—or that’s my view on the world. Imagine if we all acted like this. It’s really sad. Have a good night and blessings for a better day.

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Do you know why people laugh at US–the United States? Well, here is a clue…


This has been bothering me. Maybe someone was watching FoX NEWS when this happened last week—I don’t watch them anymore. It seems that a female pilot from the UAE was being hailed a hero for her part in the airstrikes in Syria but instead the shout out was made a mockery by some buffoons there at the channel. According to the Guardian…  



One presenter, Kimberly Guilfoyle, tried to pay tribute to Major Mariam al-Mansouri, 35, one of four UAE fighter pilots to take part in the operation. “Hey, Isis, you were bombed by a woman,” she said. “Very exciting, a woman doing this … I hope that hurt extra bad because in some Arab countries women can’t even drive.”

She continued: “Major Mariam al-Mansouri is who did this. Remarkable, very excited. I wish it was an American pilot. I’ll take a woman doing this any day to them.”

But after the segment, co-host Greg Gutfeld interrupted Guilfoyle, mocking the pilot.

  • “The problem is after she bombed it she couldn’t park it,” he said.

Another presenter, Eric Bolling, joined in, asking:

  • “Would that be considered boobs on the ground or no?”

The conversation between panellists [sic], which was broadcast on Wednesday, was part of discussion show The Five on Fox News.

Mansouri, who is from Abu Dhabi, graduated from the UAE air force academy in 2008 after becoming one of the first women to join after it scrapped its ban on women.

Speaking to the National of UAE, she said: “It was my aspiration. Ever since I finished high school, I wanted to learn flying because it was something that I liked in the first place.

“A woman’s passion about something will lead her to achieving what she aspires and that’s why she should pursue her interests.”

Mansouri told CNN this summer: “I put my mind to being a fighter pilot. But at that time, the doors were not open for females to be pilots, so I had to wait almost 10 years.

“Whenever a woman enters a new male-dominated field, they find the same hesitation, the same prejudice, the same stereotype thinking.

“And I had to prove myself by just being determined and having that skill and the knowledge enough to prove that I can perform as skilfully as the men in this field.”



You can watch the video (this link is from Youtube) but I will let you know that I had to hide my head in shame as I watched. I could not believe it. This is 2014 not 1814 or 1614 or 3214 BC or BCE. Women may have found equality in some areas but until a woman is respected—until she has as much rights and power and respect as that of any man (and I am speaking across the board for all women)—we (all humans) are no better than animals. In fact, I love animals and would rather be with them than a lot of the asinines who talk like these two. Women have had to do things twice as hard to get noticed and twice as much to gain respect and it still is not good enough in the eyes of some. I wish the two guys had been fired that day. Castration (or worse) is an option…ok, I’m kidding…sort of…maybe…well…I’m not perfect… :/


My father didn’t have a son but he taught me to push for the stars and that no one should treat a female as a second rate citizen. When we do not respect others, we do not get respect—I’m talking about women and other countries. When we do not respect the rights of others, they will not respect us. I didn’t fit the norm when growing up. Daddy didn’t see me as female or a male—I was his child. He wanted the best for me. He taught me how to build things, how to roof a house, build two additions onto our house, how to make things, how to draw and plan projects, how to build furniture…all types of stuff. I was there watching and learning at first and then I was doing it with him–his helper–his trainee. I was mowing lawns and cutting wood during my teenage years. He used to joke about his log splitter…that he had the best. The sales people that went into his office pictured something out of a catalog but he was talking about me. 😀 We have laughed at that story for so many years.


Women can do anything they want. Don’t make fun of them and never refer to them/us as objects or boobs or other degrading things. And, encourage girls to keep pushing the limits.


If you are a man, before you make fun of a woman in a degrading way, you need to first think about your daughter or potential daughter or granddaughter. If that’s not enough, think about your mother’s father. What if he had treated her in such a way–making fun of her? Every time a man degrades a woman, he makes a stab at all women and that’s just not acceptable. Women work too hard to “earn” respect. I know some will say women shouldn’t be respected but we should. Maybe one day…


Oh, and here is a response from some of those who have served in the armed forces. I really think these two guys shouldn’t be working in the public sector where they can give people a bad name. They don’t speak for me. Sometimes, life is tough and there are some men who think being a woman is so easy.


Dear Mr. Bolling and Mr. Gutfeld,

We are veterans of the United States armed forces, and we are writing to inform you that your remarks about United Arab Emirates Air Force Major Mariam Al Mansouri were unwarranted, offensive, and fundamentally opposed to what the military taught us to stand for.

First, foremost, and most obvious to everyone other than yourselves, your remarks were immensely inappropriate. Your co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle was so right to call attention to an inspiring story of a woman shattering glass ceilings in a society where doing so is immeasurably difficult. We never heard an answer to her question: why did you feel so compelled to “ruin her thing?”

As it turns out, women have been flying combat aircraft since before either of you were born. Over 1,000 Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASPs) flew during World War II. Seeing as U.S. Army Air Forces Commander “Hap” Arnold said “Now in 1944, it is on the record that women can fly as well as men,” we can probably guess he thought their parking was adequate. The WASP legacy reaches into the present day; on 9/11, then Lt. Heather “Lucky” Penney scrambled her F-16. Completely unarmed, she was ready to lay down her own life to prevent further devastating attacks on American soil.

Thus the skill of women as fighter pilots is well established. And before you jump to the standby excuse that you were “just making a joke” or “having a laugh,” let the men amongst our number preemptively respond: You are not funny. You are not clever. And you are not excused. Perhaps the phrase “boys will be boys”—inevitably uttered wherever misogyny is present—is relevant. Men would never insult and demean a fellow servicemember; boys think saying the word ‘boobs’ is funny.

The less obvious implication of your remarks, however, is that by offending an ally and cheapening her contribution, you are actively hurting the mission. We need to send a clear message that anyone, male or female, who will stand up to ISIS and get the job done is worthy of our respect and gratitude.

We issue an apology on your behalf to Major Al Mansouri knowing that anything your producers force you to say will be contrived and insincere. Major, we’re sincerely sorry for the rudeness; clearly, these boys don’t take your service seriously, but we and the rest of the American public do.

Very Respectfully,

[Men and women of the Truman Project—The Truman National Security Project unites next-generation veteran, political, and policy leaders to develop and advance strong, smart, and principled solutions to the global challenges]

I counted 60 names who signed on. There were more who wanted to sign but the letter had been sent. Those people that present the NEWS are representing us as a country whether they mean to or not and I don’t take kindly to that. I cannot wish bad things on people but I wish they were not so senseless. I wish they were more respectful of people—speaking for the boys on the show. There is a terrible disease in this country and across the globe—pride and selfishness. Someone said she watches FoX–she said that all stations make mistakes so it doesn’t bother her. That is true…we all make mistakes. But, this was not a mistake. A mistake is something that you don’t mean to do. This was true to their character, their way of life, the way they believe…no mistake. They would do it again if they thought they could get away with it and they did get away with it, didn’t they? If it was me saying something about a man…I would be out of a job that day.


Where does it stop? Where does respect begin? Too many people see women as sex objects–worth less than a man and many times they see us as worthless. It is past time for that to change. It’s 2014! It’s time for the boys in the world to grow up and become MEN! Oh, and…I’m just a girl… 😀 Other things I was taught along the way:  how to arc weld, how to drive a tractor, and how to drive a CAT road grader and skidder-like machine…and some other stuff. 😀 I’m just a girl who has been a math teacher, a cook, waitress, restaurant manager, tutor, volunteer, trainer and leader for Girl Scouts, caregiver, I have given birth to two children, yada, yada,… A woman’s job is never done and one day I hope to be a grandmother and it cycles again. I read, paint, sew, make music and build things … and I blog. 😉

Encourage the young women in your life to push the limits and require the guys in your life to show respect. Have a great day! 🙂


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If you haven’t been hiding under a rock you know today is the day Scotland votes for independence. These are both exciting and scary times for the people of Scotland. It is almost like our own–the United States–declaration of independence without all of the bloodshed. Imagine having autonomy. Many of us don’t know what it is like to be ruled by England because it was so long ago but this is bringing to light much of what we only studied in school. It’s exciting to me to watch the process. Will Scotland vote YES to break the chains or will they vote NO to remain with the Crown? We will see.


Some of my ancestors came from Scotland. I have never wanted to visit because of genealogy but due to its prehistoric history and standing stones…the early people of Scotland, what they left behind, the mysteries. Most people I know in Scotland (only a few) say they are voting YES and say it is because of the children, that they want a better place for them. I can understand that thought. No matter what the outcome, I support the people of Scotland. I wish them well. Some of my Scottish and Irish ancestors fought in the American Revolution. They fought for freedom. Whatever happens today, this is part of history. Again, I wish them well… Good luck!


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I give up on love. I’ve done about everything I can. It seems that I can’t find that significant other who loves me as much as I love him. I never wanted to become cynical or lose hope but I have become rather pessimistic. I hate that.


I am still a romantic. I like walks on the beach and just being a part of nature away from the city, taking in quiet moments and enjoying life—the smells, the beauty…sigh. I love sunsets and sunrises, good food, cooking, traveling, camping and so much more. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want to continue life alone. I wasn’t made that way really. I wanted to share it with that special someone but it isn’t going to happen it seems at least not in the near future. I can say that I like time to myself, so I’m learning but it is so dang hard.


I refuse to settle. I know what I want and that definitely is not a person who I have to baby and clean up after or fight with. I refuse to sacrifice the things that I love and most of all, my girls. The bond that we have will not be broken—it is not negotiable.


I’m learning to live with this the best I can but truth be known—it sucks big goose eggs. Some days I just can’t be so positive. It doesn’t help when I receive a letter from my minister addressed to husband number 2 and me…and the girls. Number 2 hasn’t stepped foot in the church in about 3 years. It’s not like we have lots of members. Sigh. Good grief. Life. Shakes head. The minister is rather new but not that new. Oh well. Hope your week is better…if not, just think of goose eggs and laugh. 😀

Here is some music…

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What I am about to write blows my mind. I really try to see the good in people and when I see bad, it shocks me. I still can’t believe what has happened. Please love others…love people who don’t love you…love people who do love you…and love from your heart not because you are told to. No matter what you believe about religion; no matter what you believe is right or wrong; think about others. And, whatever you believe, don’t judge others…don’t think you are better…please.


The following is not meant to hurt anyone or to degrade anyone. I see people as one color and I have learned to see the person and not the religion or if there is no religion. I have learned to respect people even when they differ from me. I listen with my heart. I have gone through a great deal to humble myself before others and to tell you the truth, what has happened hurts me to no end. I write this because of the injustices in the world…in case someone can relate to what I say and become a better person. That’s my intention.



A lady friend who attends my church, a person I considered a good friend, called me today, well, Tuesday. She wanted to tell me about last week’s sermon—I haven’t been able to be at church in a while. She didn’t attend last week from what I understand but two other ladies called her to tell her about the sermon. I can only guess now how that went. I had no clue what she was about to tell me. Please listen to my story. It is important. I cannot attest to what was actually said at church but I can tell you what I was told and what my reaction was.


It seems that the minister was speaking on relationships (I’m guessing at this point) when he reportedly said, “We should love Black people and we should love Muslims.” The lady who called me asked what I thought about this. I was waiting for more because I didn’t understand. I said we should love everyone and that I didn’t know what she wanted me to say. She proceeded to tell me that she understood about loving Black people but Muslims…(a question in her voice)…that they started the wars and some other stuff. I thought a minute. I couldn’t believe I was hearing what I was hearing. There was a long a pause. I didn’t know exactly what to say but I asked her if she really wanted to know my opinion and she agreed.


I said that those Muslims she was referring to are people and so are Black people. I said Islam is a religion and that the religion does not call for hatred or killing and that if she was referring to what is happening in the Mideast right now that most Muslims want peace—here and abroad. I went off on my tangent of how we should love all people especially as Christians…that Jesus didn’t judge others…that the Bible tells us he associated with tax collectors and prostitutes but he didn’t find fault with them and he didn’t make himself better. I talked about how some Christians hate more than so many other people and they should go back and read about the teachings of Jesus because he taught us love not hate.


This went on for quite a while because I wanted to be clear about my feelings. If I am going to be ostracized (and I told her this) then I wanted to make sure people understood my stance. I talked about some atheists I know who I consider to be more knowledgeable about the Bible than a lot of my Christian friends and that I respected them more because they don’t spew hate and those feelings they are better than everyone else. There are some who do, but I was trying to make a point.


I have dislikes and my big dislike is when people don’t respect others. I have been accused lately of arguing. I used to like to argue but I don’t now. Imagine having someone call you wanting you to be on their side in hating someone. That is unfathomable to me. I may have lost a friend today/yesterday. I could have remained quiet—not said anything—kept the status quo…but that wasn’t going to happen. I had to speak up. It’s not ok to hate people or divide people. I don’t care if you are Black, White, Green, Purple, or Pink—poky—dot. You can believe in the toothfairy, and worship trees, or be an atheist…it’s fine with me because I don’t need to give you approval and I don’t need your approval for what I believe. I would rather stand with an atheist who respects me than to stand with a person who calls themselves a Christian but hates others–no disrespect to any atheists. Jesus said to love–period. Even if you don’t believe Jesus was the Son of God, think of what he was trying to say. My life is my witness. If I don’t love, who am I?


At the end of the conversation I apologized for coming across a little strong but that I was not sorry for what I believe. I wanted her to know I was willing to sacrifice anything and everything for my beliefs. I told her about my neighbor who has gone along and has been telling stuff about me and that I will survive. I was trying to allow her to say her goodbyes. She actually thanked me for what I said. She didn’t say she agreed with me but she said she needed to hear my words and that she would think about them.


I could have chosen to be silent but I didn’t. I could have chosen to speak eloquently but I didn’t. I chose the harder path. I don’t know if she will go back and tell anyone and it doesn’t matter. I wanted to be clear so in case she did. I didn’t want to confront this but when it comes for me I will not back down because I believe we all deserve respect and if we do not show love and respect for others, we cannot expect love and respect in return.


People are a lot like cats. We are different colors. We like different things but we are all the same species. And…we are all beautiful. So, if you dislike someone…ask yourself why. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, face whatever it is. Don’t let differences define hatred. Hatred is a passion people learn. Love is a passion that embraces. For some, there is more power in hate than there is in love but we all can condition ourselves to love passionately. I know because I have done it. I have watched people lose hatred for others. I have also watched as hatred eats away at all that is good. May we treat others as we would like to be treated. 🙂


Happy Gardening! 🙂

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