I have made progress on my journey—a big milestone has been reached. In other words, this has been a good day. Tomorrow may not be as good, but today has been and I need to acknowledge it. When I talked to my husband the other night, I mentioned the metaphor of building a bridge. He said he liked the way that sounded. When I wrote that blog post the other day I saw things differently. I saw that we needed to build a bridge together—like us building from the same side. My husband sees it as that we each are building the bridge but he is building to reach me. I thought that was sweet.
It is the little things that mean so much. They may not be big but when you take each one and string them along, tie them together, they become huge things that mean more than I can ever explain. You see at first, I thought my husband did not love me but that is not the case. In fact, he loves me more than I can describe and though it hurts from time to time to have him missing from part of my life, to know that he is willing to do this for us means everything. My husband chose to leave so that he can find God and the man that he aspires to be—the one I fell in love with—but better. He has secluded himself as much as he can from the outside world. This is not a selfish act. We have been continuing in the book I talked about before. What a powerful message! I urge you to read this book if at all possible. It tells it like I see it with no frosting—no extra fluff.
Until last night I still felt the devil around me. I cannot explain all of this but I felt his presence peering into my thoughts, watching my actions, just being THERE. After we had our prayer following our study, I felt compelled to pray again to ask for help in removing the devil—I have been praying for this but we had not really prayed like this until last night. This morning, I woke up, no kidding, and did not feel his presence nor have I felt it all through the day. It is like the burden has been lifted. It is really a culmination of things. I found a booklet when cleaning up and with last night’s study and this book, I finally began to feel in control of my life again. The things my husband said also let me know that we are on the right track. Do you know how important it is to regain that hope? It means everything to me—not to think something will happen but to know it will happen and to see it happening within yourself—myself! It is much like finding that second wind.
And, I have 3 more pounds to lose in 2.5 weeks to make my goal that I set last month. I have lost 20 pounds since the first of the year and want to meet this first goal by April 1. I’m not going to be upset if I don’t make it but it would give me that extra boost of confidence–and will probably make me feel so much better, too. If there are those of you out there who are trying to lose weight, you can do it–really! I never thought I could do it, but it is happening.
I hope you are having a great week and may your gardens be forever blessed!
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Garden2day 